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In No Man's Land!

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Old 03-05-2009, 03:51 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: SCOTLAND
Posts: 3
In No Man's Land!

This is my 1st post. My husband and I are parents of an adorable 4 year old. I have had a few concerns for awhile, but convinced myself it was just my son being 'himself'.
Now his nursery staff have raised concerns, and we now have a team of helpful professionals assessing him and we have an appointment with a paediatrician this month.
He has had no previous interaction with children, until August 2008 when he started nursery. He cried when the other children came near him, got upset if he got paint or water splashed on his hands, and got distressed when he was taken to sit at the snack table with the other children. He doesn't have ANY of these characteristics now, but still doesn't interact too well, though he is improving daily, much to our and the staff's delight.
However,he has started flapping and tapping his fingers near his mouth when he is happy/excited.
From the age of 14-36 months, he headbanged daily.
Although interested in other activities, he is obsessed with numbers and letters and has developed a great skill with both.
He does give everyone full eye contact, and can speak, though it is a little delayed, he's only recently started speaking in sentences.
He doesn't and never has, waved hello or bye bye.
He's such a happy boy, and rarely gets upset or frustrated now compared to 12-18 months ago, when his temper tantrums were so bad, I avoided leaving the house for shopping etc.
There has been so many improvements, but he does have social interaction problems, and has some strange behaviour, flapping etc.

When we see the paediatrician, does anyone know what the next step is, if she also has concerns?

My husband has spent countless hours on the pc, and we are almost convinced our gorgeous son may have Aspergers Syndrome.

We are worried and feel we are presently in No man's land, just waiting for a diagnosis either way.

Any advice much appreciated. Sorry this is so long!

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Old 03-06-2009, 06:49 AM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: New York USA
Posts: 741
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Re: In No Man's Land!

I'd say get your son on a list to receive early intervention therapies. The sooner the better as the wait will be long. If the evaluation turns out to be positive you can always cancel the space on the wait list. I would also say always go with your gut as a mother you know your child the best. My son had similar symptoms and is now 7 he's on the verge of being diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. He attends public school and is in an inclusive class, he is smart as anything but struggles with socialization and anxiexty he's more comfortable with adults as they are less noisy. At home there is a group of friends varying in age that accept him quirks and all. Of course there is still the need for negotiating some situations but it's that way with all kids. He also receives therapies in school he gets p/t, o/t and socializations skills therapy as well as a a special ed teacher in his class. It isn't as dismal as you may believe it may be. Kids with aspergers are funny, brilliant, intelligent,sensitive,completely frustrating at times and very beautiful. I am completely convinced that we as parents are chosen to parent these children because somewhere out in the universe some higher being knew we'd be just the people to take care of them properly and give them the start they would need to survive in this world.

Old 03-06-2009, 09:02 AM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: SCOTLAND
Posts: 3
Re: In No Man's Land!

Thankyou for your reply, it was very informative and what a lovely outlook you have given me.

My husband has already mentioned early intervention to all the professionals who are currently assessing him, as we are eager to get 'things moving'. So your advice is definately on the right track, thankyou.

I wish you well with your lovely son, he's a lucky boy having a mum with such a postive frame of mind. You are an inspiration. Good luck.

Old 03-06-2009, 05:13 PM   #4
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Re: In No Man's Land!

I'm not sure when the kids in Scotland start school. In America, it is 5 years old or so. I called the principal of the school our son was to attend when our child was 4 years old (Asperger's kid, but at the time we did not know what was wrong), and let them know our child was a 'special ed' candidate. There are services the school must provide (again, this is America) when "special ed" kids are to be enrolled in the school. The process is known as IEP (Individual Education Plan). It would be in your child's best interest to do something such as this so you can prepare for future education. A great book to read is endorsed by OASIS which is interested in children with this condition. I don't remember the name and I'm wintering in Arizona at the moment (no access to my library at the moment). I'm sure with a little research, you could find this book and order it as a reference manual for your child. Our Aspie son is 37 YO and doing okay!

Asperger's is a quirky condition, but the kids afflicted with this syndrome are delightful and funny. You have to learn to relax and go with the flow. I know you can do this!


Old 03-07-2009, 03:11 AM   #5
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: SCOTLAND
Posts: 3
Re: In No Man's Land!

Thankyou Kirstee for your advice.
In Scotland, children also start school at 5 approx. Our son does not start school until August 2010, so we are optimistic of getting on track with everything and having an educational and interesting journey over the next 18 months and beyond if he is diagnosed.

Thankyou for the recommendations and the encouragement!

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