It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Back Problems Message Board

  • seriously, I've just about had it.

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 02-24-2005, 09:35 PM   #1
    mel1977
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    mel1977's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: usa
    Posts: 2,943
    mel1977 HB User
    Thumbs down seriously, I've just about had it.

    okay, so went to Lung dr yesterday and really things are okay in that department. He wants me to get some blood titers to rule out a fungal disease associated with growing up in the midwest and another from living in the West. He told me not to be concerned. He does want me to get another CT in six months and a new dr. I'll have the blood work done on Monday. Even though it isn't a big deal, having to rule out a "lung disease" at 27 doesn't make me real happy.
    So, then today I see my back dr. He said my xray looked wonderful and things are going great. He wants me to get another in six weeks and send it to him and that is when he'll decide if I can lose the brace. He didn't seem to think I needed a new dr in MO. I also got 10 mg percs b/c the fives were more tylenol, I said the reason I was taking two fives was not so much my back as neck and that the neck pain was getting worse. He didn't acknowledge my neck issue at all and just said "you need to get off the percocets" I also asked for a new cervical MRI and he said he saw no reason to think I needed one. Maybe it was just b/c I am leaving and he never did treat my neck and that is why he blew it off, but I left feeling a little less happy with him. I felt brushed off, even though he wants to stay the decision maker on my fusion, which I understand. I guess I felt a little let down. I am going to seek a new cervical dr regardless of what mine thinks about my neck. I had two problems when I came to him, he only worked on one.
    So, a little distressed about the visit, but okay. Had a crap lunch at our fav casino buffet, so was let down there. (oh, gained ANOTHER pound too, found out yesterday and I was really upset. HAS to be stress.....)
    Anyway, so the stress is def hitting me, I get home and though I am hurting in so many places refuse to lie down or even sit. So, I start packing. Then, hubby gets mail and comes back fuming. The apt we used to live in say we owe them four grand. SO, now this. I swear, we can't have one good week. I can't handle much more of this, I really can't. Then, all of hubby's job interviews are COMMISSION only and I just told him tonight he can't do that. he hates sales and commission is not something we can risk right now. We were told our apt was rented so we weren't responsible for the remiaining months of our lease, but then this bill. We'll know tomorrow if it was a mix up or not. we simply can't afford to make our condo payment, the apt payment, COBRA payment (btw my percs were 160.00 today!), and so on. I am losing sight and can't handle much more. I am feeling a break down coming on and I dont' know what to do. I want to give up on everything, yes, everything. I am so darn depressed, I am questioning my marriage every other day(and really, not for good reasons, I mean, am I making them up???!!!), I am wondering if we shouldn't just let the condo go and foreclose( well, my name isn't on it so it'd be hubby.....)! I don't know! I am sad, scared, I feel helpless. I am on TWO antidepressants, gained ten pounds, hate things right now, my neck hurts, some part of my back that I can't explain, hubby might get denied unemployment.... and I don't care what anyone says about things happening for a reason anymore..........this is just a bit too much for me and I feel like I am losing it.

    Last edited by mel1977; 02-24-2005 at 09:38 PM.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 02-25-2005, 12:23 AM   #2
    lori j
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    lori j's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2002
    Posts: 2,216
    lori j HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    Mel, you are not alone. I quit klonopin abruptly & am having horrible withdrawal, then found out that about the same withdrawal from ultracet which I also quit. I spent last nite laying on the floor crying my eyes out. I am at my wits end too. After over 4 months of laying with this back pain, I am now so darn overmedicated & messed up that I can't even drive to go to the new PT on Monday. I feel totall overwhelmed with problems too. Just wanted you to know, you are not alone. I spend much time crying lately.

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 04:16 AM   #3
    flyonthewall
    Senior Veteran
     
    flyonthewall's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2003
    Posts: 1,133
    flyonthewall HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    Why would you go to a new PT on Monday if you're moving on Tuesday. Block it all out until you get to Missouri.
    fly

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 06:25 AM   #4
    tc12346
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    tc12346's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2005
    Posts: 17
    tc12346 HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    mel1977,

    sorry about everything you are going thru. When I was going thru difficult times, someone said to me "it will only get better cause it can't get worse" and they were right.

    I was really sick with many things and stiff neck and shoulders was one of them. I also had major headaches daily sometimes migraine, asthma, fogginess, achey muscles and more. I found out about candida on the web and read about it. I had this thing. I am now on the anti-candida diet and I feel great. I can turn my head now and lots of other things are cleared up. I'm not 100% better yet (a month on the diet) but every day gets better. I can't give you a link here but do a search on candida diet and you'll find a ton of info. Good Luck and hope you feel better soon.

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 07:42 AM   #5
    tkgoodspirit
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    tkgoodspirit's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2004
    Posts: 1,020
    tkgoodspirit HB Usertkgoodspirit HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    [QUOTE=mel1977]okay, so went to Lung dr yesterday and really things are okay in that department. He wants me to get some blood titers to rule out a fungal disease associated with growing up in the midwest and another from living in the West. He told me not to be concerned. He does want me to get another CT in six months and a new dr. I'll have the blood work done on Monday. Even though it isn't a big deal, having to rule out a "lung disease" at 27 doesn't make me real happy.
    So, then today I see my back dr. He said my xray looked wonderful and things are going great. He wants me to get another in six weeks and send it to him and that is when he'll decide if I can lose the brace. He didn't seem to think I needed a new dr in MO. I also got 10 mg percs b/c the fives were more tylenol, I said the reason I was taking two fives was not so much my back as neck and that the neck pain was getting worse. He didn't acknowledge my neck issue at all and just said "you need to get off the percocets" I also asked for a new cervical MRI and he said he saw no reason to think I needed one. Maybe it was just b/c I am leaving and he never did treat my neck and that is why he blew it off, but I left feeling a little less happy with him. I felt brushed off, even though he wants to stay the decision maker on my fusion, which I understand. I guess I felt a little let down. I am going to seek a new cervical dr regardless of what mine thinks about my neck. I had two problems when I came to him, he only worked on one.
    So, a little distressed about the visit, but okay. Had a crap lunch at our fav casino buffet, so was let down there. (oh, gained ANOTHER pound too, found out yesterday and I was really upset. HAS to be stress.....)
    Anyway, so the stress is def hitting me, I get home and though I am hurting in so many places refuse to lie down or even sit. So, I start packing. Then, hubby gets mail and comes back fuming. The apt we used to live in say we owe them four grand. SO, now this. I swear, we can't have one good week. I can't handle much more of this, I really can't. Then, all of hubby's job interviews are COMMISSION only and I just told him tonight he can't do that. he hates sales and commission is not something we can risk right now. We were told our apt was rented so we weren't responsible for the remiaining months of our lease, but then this bill. We'll know tomorrow if it was a mix up or not. we simply can't afford to make our condo payment, the apt payment, COBRA payment (btw my percs were 160.00 today!), and so on. I am losing sight and can't handle much more. I am feeling a break down coming on and I dont' know what to do. I want to give up on everything, yes, everything. I am so darn depressed, I am questioning my marriage every other day(and really, not for good reasons, I mean, am I making them up???!!!), I am wondering if we shouldn't just let the condo go and foreclose( well, my name isn't on it so it'd be hubby.....)! I don't know! I am sad, scared, I feel helpless. I am on TWO antidepressants, gained ten pounds, hate things right now, my neck hurts, some part of my back that I can't explain, hubby might get denied unemployment.... and I don't care what anyone says about things happening for a reason anymore..........this is just a bit too much for me and I feel like I am losing it. [/QUOTE]


    Mel,
    I am so sorry about all you are going through, but if it's any consolation to you, you have helped me quite a bit, simply by making me realize that I am not the only one who goes to be at night with so many "life" things swimming in my head it makes my stomach upset.

    I can relate to the no income, the neck pain, back pain, and just plain wondering "when the hell is this all going to end? WHEN?" You feel like you are being punished for something. My husband failed a drug screen back in September and lost a good paying job that he had for over 9 years. So I had to go on COBRA, those premiums are high aren't they? We could only afford to insure me, not my husband. My husband thank goodness found another job, but its a temporary construction job. I would love to move somewhere else, start new, but my husband doesn't want to leave here. I am not originally from here, he is, but he never see's his friends or family, and all I do is sit in pain most days, I would love to move closer to my family, go somewhere where it isn't 9 months of summer, the seasons change, spring is spring and winter is actually cold, not 80 degrees! I told him, that I have a good friend back home that I could go live with, her husband has just left her, her kids are grown, and she's got a big old house! I am waiting for disability, waiting, waiting waiting! Since I have quit my job we have emptied out our 401K that had over $30,000 just to offset my income and pay our enormous debt. And like you, I keep thinking, why? Why is this happening and how much more can I take? And I think the same thing, is there a lesson or reason for all this? I'd like to know what it is now, so I can learn and go on! And like you, I think should we just let them have the car, sell everything, start over. It's only stuff right? But when you are in your late 40's things like that are harder to do, and to let go of. Plus, I've been there before with my first husband, I lost everything, absolutely everything, I even lived in an old beat up 1978 Ford pick up truck when I had no other home to live in. So I try to get to a mind set where I think "what is the worst that could happen?" We file Chapter 7, surrender the house. It's always better to "give the house back" a lawyer can help you with that process and decision. Our house has no equity since it is one of those big manufactured homes, and we could start over, sell everything we have but the basics, and my mom's stuff she gave me when she passed. It is overwhelming most days, and my stomach is always upset. And the back pain is so excrutiating I am going to have to use some of that 401K money for surgery if I want any kind of quality of life. I've let my back injury goe on for 3 years now. Herniated L3-4 L4-5 and is it L-5 S1? not sure any way, I got a bunch of squished and torn dics! It's nuts isn't it? You never thought your life would turn out like this. I want to feel secure and safe, and with my husband's job situation I don't feel that way, and he doesn't seem to understand how scarey it is to me to have no income, and therefore no insurance. I have never had to depend on anyone else for my well being before since I was a child. I've always worked. Oh and I also have Fibromyalgia, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Bursitis in my right hip, Chostocondritis, Cervical stenosis, and all the lower lumbar stuff. So I know exactly how you feel. My Grandma used to say to me "This too shall pass". God I hope so, and soon. You keep thinking SOMETHING has got to go your way.

    Do you have a therapist (for your mind) that you can speak to ? I just made an appt with a new one, since my last one would only talk about how stingy her grown child is and how evil her ex husband was! Of course! LOL Why would we talk about me? So, she's gone.

    I think we need a plan, and a drastic one, to take our lives back. I had a good life at one time, and I'm not talking about material possessions, just being happy and content. I'll give up my "stuff" for health and happiness. What about you mel? Too bad we are so far apart and don't know each other, we could help each other pull ourselves up.

    Anyway, we always have this board, and we can certainly relate, and thank you, I thought it was only me that some wicked force was following around poking me with it's finger saying "hey, hey, I'm still here! Think THAT'S going to go your way? HA, think again dummy!"

    I hope things get better for you hun, and get yourself to another doc about your neck!

    MMMMMWWWWAAAAAHHHHH!
    tk

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 09:28 AM   #6
    TexasWildRose04
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    TexasWildRose04's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: Austin, Texas
    Posts: 463
    TexasWildRose04 HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    Hi Mel, You are definately not alone in all this, I to thought I was the only one this huge dark cloud could be looming over all the time, it just seems when we take one step forward, then something knocks us 10 steps backwards.

    I can totally relate to what you are going through dealing with the money issues, We have no money, have rent and other bills to pay, on top of that, I have to pay my own benefits, which are outrageous, they want my premium by March 3, and I do not have it..... I do not want to loose my insurance, because I was approved for the breast reduction, I am taking a loan from my 401K to pay the money needed upfront...Which set me back, and was a blow I wasnt expecting.. thought I could pay it in payments....I dont want to have to change insurance and try to get approved again for the reduction....MetLife is still keeping me in limbo as to whether they will pay my benefits or not after Feb 28th... eventhough they have documentation from 3 doctors that say I can not work....I cant afford to pay the copays for my doctors visits... and when I go I have balances I owe them and the first thing out of their mouths is... You have a balance of such and such... and I tell them... I am not working, have no income right now..."You can not squeeze blood from a turnip" I will pay you what I can when I can... then they call the billing dept, and the chick comes down to the waiting room and says.. lets go talk... and takes me in a exam room and proceeds to say..> When can you pay? Blah Blah Blah....then there is perscriptions to be filled.... my Neuro wrote me a perscription for a quadropod cane... one of the canes with 4 legs to walk with because he said it would give me better support... I can't afford the copay to get it......In April I will be out on medical leave for a year, and my job will terminate my employment, so I will not have any benefits at all....we are trying to get me on my partners insurance but since she is out on medical leave as well with a WC injury, they say they may not be able to do that either.... but MIGHT be able to override that....so waiting waiting waiting......havent been able to go to my psychiatrist because I cant afford that copay for that either.... but I cant says it was helping any, because he was insistant that my back pain was comming from the fact that I was so concerned with my future and what i was going to do for a career... and to be quite honest, and I told him this, that hasnt really crossed my mind... but he was still insistant....

    I find myself just laying and crying quite often, because I just don't know what I am going to do....my family lives 1800 miles away, but that is ok, because my parents are the type that will tell you, "I raised you to adulthood, now you must take care of yourself..." They are retired... and swear they have no money either... but take a trip somewhere every month of the year... and are now in Florida for the winter... from Jan. until April......so asking them for help it totally out of the question...My brother and sister have families of their own and cant afford to help....so its up to me... But enough is enough about me...

    One thing I am certainly glad for is to have this board to vent on... I would have probably totally lost it by now if I didnt have ya'll But I did want to let you know you are not alone... and hopefully things with start to get better for us all, soon....

    Take Care.

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 10:04 AM   #7
    tammys
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    tammys's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2004
    Location: Alabama
    Posts: 155
    tammys HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    After reading all the post on this thread, I think to myself how lucky I am. Yes!! I have major back pain, leg pain and a dead foot. But thank God I have a house that is paid for and a car that is paid for. I also have 2 sons that are like my rocks. They drive me where I need to go and are forever running errands for me so that I don't have to go out. I don't have a husband that I have to worry about getting upset with me because I can't do the things like "Normal Couples".

    I'll just say to each of you that is having such a bad time: Don't give up. Keep reminding yourself that when your life seems so bad, there is always someone else that has an even worse life.

    Good Luck to you all!!! Keep Smiling...It will make you feel better!

    Tammys

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 11:04 AM   #8
    lfoster21
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    lfoster21's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Location: Northern Virginia
    Posts: 1,692
    lfoster21 HB User
    Wink Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, Mel, (and everyone else). I wish I had something to encourage you with...but I am afraid it would all sound so minute and an "easier said than done" type of thing. But know that you are not alone in your suffering. When ever you add depression into the equation...it seems like all heck is breaking loose and I know that one first hand. I will keep you all in my prayers and although my problems seem small compared to what you are going through, please keep me in your thoughts and/or prayers.

    Lorie
    __________________

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 11:33 AM   #9
    Better Late
    Member
    (female)
     
    Better Late's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2005
    Posts: 84
    Better Late HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    Mel (And the others),

    I'm so sorry to hear all you're having to deal with!!! Makes my problems seem non-existent!! So I'll just say...I'll have you in my prayers every day, and believe that there is a light at the end of your tunnel. Please don't give up or give in! Never lose your faith!!! I know it's hard to see it now, but things will get better.
    (( ))!! (cyberhug)

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 11:50 AM   #10
    mel1977
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    mel1977's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: usa
    Posts: 2,943
    mel1977 HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    thank you to all that offered such heartfelt advice and to the rest who shared their stories too. It does help to know that you aren't the only one living in half hell. (I mean that by saying not everything is bad, just a few things but too many things at once). Fly, I am getting blood work on Monday, not seeing a therapist. Sorry if I miswrote that.
    Anyway, I wish I could cry. I just can't! Maybe b/c I am on too many meds right now or what, I don't know. I just appreciate everything. I have to get in the shower now to take the kitties to the vet for their health certs so gotta go. I'll be back later!

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 08:32 PM   #11
    Jessie1
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Jessie1's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Location: Pennsylvania
    Posts: 593
    Jessie1 HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    Mel, I'm so sorry about everything you are going through! My problems aren't nearly as bad as yours, but I do have a little understanding of what you're going through. Just this past week, it's like everything has come crashing down. I have suddenly gone from making a decent income to zero (I technically didn't lose my job, it was just made nearly impossible for me to DO my job ), and have been greeted with huge bills because my horse has been diagnosed with a disease that costs $650/month minimum to treat, not including the vet bills. On Tuesday night, he had some severe problems that almost caused us to lose him, and that was more vet bills. Because of the problems with my job (which may or may not be temporary) I have to go out this week and try to find something else. I don't know what I'm going to do, and not sure what I'm able to do because I'm recovering from my fusion. I have no health insurance right now. And those things are just the tip of the iceberg. But I'm going to stop now, because I didn't mean to go on and on! I hope things are better for you (and everyone else) soon, and I'm sending lots of hugs your way!

     
    Old 02-25-2005, 08:49 PM   #12
    memawhurts
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    memawhurts's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 221
    memawhurts HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    Mel,
    I don't have any words of wisdom or anything to make it all better, though I truly wish I could, so I will keep this short and to the point. You are trying your best and doing all you can, and that's all you can do. The biggest suggestion I could possibly make, is to keep coming here, like you have been, and letting it out. Don't let it build up inside. I will keep you in my prayers and I am so very sorry for all that you have had to deal with.

    Memaw

     
    Old 02-26-2005, 11:18 AM   #13
    mel1977
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    mel1977's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: usa
    Posts: 2,943
    mel1977 HB User
    Re: seriously, I've just about had it.

    It doesn't help now that I have some new pain in my left leg and the area above my butt. I never had it like that before. It will have a sharp pain in the upper butt then it happens at my leg. I am worried that I am def going to have some residual pain for the rest of my life. I knew that was a possibility, but I had hoped I'd be one of the lucky ones. Oh well. I know it is very early still, but when you worry about all these other things, you can't help but worry about EVERYTHING!

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    How do you deal with doctors who don't take your pain seriously? sealover Chronic Pain 58 04-19-2012 12:30 PM
    risperidone?... seriously?! mmKay Depression 16 02-26-2010 07:40 AM
    Seeing Red & Not Being Taken Seriously RockPaperWhat Eye & Vision 0 09-14-2007 08:36 PM
    Anyone else have issues with people not taking your anxiety seriously? mjewell Anxiety 9 04-16-2005 09:36 AM
    I seriously don't feel my age... MaryJet Menopause 5 10-08-2004 07:46 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is Off
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:58 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!