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Help! My spouse takes my meds

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Old 09-18-2007, 04:31 PM   #1
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calitor5 HB User
Unhappy Help! My spouse takes my meds

I'm 22 yrs old and I've been suffering with back pain since I was 15. The past year has been so horrible for me. The pain has increased so bad the my doctor put me on Oxycodone, Norcos, and Valium. I noticed recently that I would come up about a week short on my medication. I follow my dosage and do not deviate from it. Now, my husband confessed to me that he has been taking a couple "here and there" for his "back pain". I don't know what to do. I have a DR. appt Thursday and am thinking if I should ask to be put on a patch. Is that the right answer? I don't want to come off as a drug seeker wanting higher medication but what do I do? And how do I get my husband help without ruining my marriage? Someone please help me. I feel so hopeless.


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Old 09-18-2007, 05:35 PM   #2
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ejreiss HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

hide the meds. What he dosn't have access to, he can't take. Seems pretty simple to me. I admit he shouldn't have taken it to begin with but I wouldn't make too big a deal of it. I've heard of worst things than that.

Old 09-18-2007, 06:24 PM   #3
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Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

Hi tori and welcome to the board. The bad news is that your husband is stealing your narcotics. The good news is that he confessed. No one here can tell you what to do about it. If he has had a drug problem in the past, this could be the start of more trouble; if not, perhaps you should have a good talk to him about what your dr will do if you run out of meds too soon. A weeks worth of meds is quite a bit and not...a pill here and there...and I think your husband may have a problem you are going to have to deal with.

I do agree that you should hide your drugs but it's a bad sign when you can't trust your spouse. Tell your husband that if he is having back trouble, you'll make an appt for him with your doctor but that your meds are off limits. For now, I wouldn't switch medications or do anything that might send up a red flag to your doctor; but if your husband finds and takes any more of your meds, your marriage is in trouble because he has a problem. I hope it doesn't come to that but until he earns your trust back, you're going to have to find a good hiding place.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of dealing with chronic pain.

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Last edited by carol632; 09-18-2007 at 06:25 PM.

Old 09-18-2007, 06:45 PM   #4
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Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

Hidden and LOCKED! If he's desparate, he'll figure out where they are. Get a good strong box with a hard-to-pick lock. But sooner or later, you two will need to deal with this.

I wish you the best.

Old 09-18-2007, 06:54 PM   #5
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yvette777 HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

I keep my meds in a little suitcase safe from walmart they cost like 20.00 but good luck keeping your key hid if he;s hooked.

Old 09-18-2007, 07:21 PM   #6
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ms_west HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

Wow!! My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine the hurt and betrayal you must be feeling. This is hard and I worry about the meds being locked up and him being furious......take care of yourself and I am lifting this situation up in prayer.

Old 09-19-2007, 04:25 AM   #7
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Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

The answer is: hide it. We all shell do it since you never know especially if you have teens in a house or friends come and go. When I got my first dose of narco meds. my pharmacist called me in a room and discussed all the do's and don't. He said it does not matter how much you trust your household members - this type meds have to be hidden and to try not to announce what kind medication you are taking to anyone.

Old 09-19-2007, 06:44 AM   #8
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carken HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

I'm so sorry about your problem with your husband/meds. This post really won't help you, but it's a humorous revelation about how people will look for meds.

When my son-in-law was ill (now deceased), my daughter had to hide his own meds from him. She dispensed pills for the day. He would look for them, though, and sometimes he found them. When he did, he'd put a sticky note in their place with a smiley face drawn on it.

Old 09-19-2007, 12:42 PM   #9
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awsam007 HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

I can't imagine my hubby taking my meds. He knows how much I need them and my doctor has only given me the 'bare minimum'. I'm in moderate pain most of the time. Besides the trust issue, it sounds like your hubby doesn't respect you and your medical condition. That's a major problem. If you think he could change with therapy, stick it out, otherwise kick him to the curb and find someone that loves and respects you. Also, take your meds with you where ever you go. Don't let them out of your sight. Does your hubby have a history with addictions?

Old 09-19-2007, 03:55 PM   #10
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Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

Honey, what your husband is doing is against the law. He is abusing narcotics. Now that you know he is doing it, if he continues you are also breaking the law by not taking action. This puts your own pain medication in jeopardy!

You really need to tell your husband to stop NOW. If he is having such back pain that he has to take 1/4 of your medications, he needs to see a doctor and get on pain management himself. It is very possible that he really needs this, but doesn't think it is such a big deal (a man thing). I hope it is that and not that he doesn't have enough respect for your wellbeing to keep his fingers out of your meds.

Have you told him how much he has actually used? If he is popping one here and there, he more than likely doesn't even know that you are having to go so long without relief. In my book that is abusive and if it were me, if he refused to go to the doctor, I would show him the door. I pray a good long talk will set things straight!

Old 09-19-2007, 04:02 PM   #11
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Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

I hate to tell someone not to be honest with their doctor, but you could be cut off just because someone else got ahold of your meds. If I were you I would tough it out the rest of the week, then do like everyone says and get a small locking box for your meds, and put your husband on notice, that if he even attempts to do it again, there will be repercussions, what those are is up to you, everything from leaving him to turning him in, but you need to make him understand that leaving you hanging for a week with no meds is no joke, if his back pain is bad enough to warrent use of these meds, he needs to go get them from his doctor and not from you.

Good luck and please let us know what happens.

Old 09-19-2007, 04:52 PM   #12
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Jack24 HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

Whether or not to tell your doctor is a tough one. If they do a drug screen and you come up short of what is suppose to be in your system they not only will cut you off but think you are selling your meds. If I had this problem I could tell my doc. He would work with me on a solution. Every doctor is different. Switching to Fentanyl patches might be a good idea. That is what I use.

Is your husband dependent or was this just an experiment? Does he have an alcohol problem? Sometimes a problem with ETOH and drugs go hand in hand.

Hopefully, this is not a big issue between the two of you. Some people don't relate to the seriousness of taking or giving narcotics, especially Schedule II drugs. It is definitely time for a heart to heart but I wouldn't threaten him.

Last edited by Jack24; 09-19-2007 at 04:54 PM. Reason: needs explaining

Old 09-19-2007, 05:37 PM   #13
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Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

I would say hide them also. Talk to him and see if he needs professional help or if he was just taking them because they were there. Explain to him that you really need them and he can't take them. Tell him to go see a dr. for his back if needed. Mine are left out all the time. My son is 13. I probably should be putting mine away also. Something I never thought about. I trust he will not touch them but you never know. I hope you come up with a solution. I don't think I would tell your dr. because I would be afraid he stops giving them to you. Or tell your dr. you were in so much pain you took an extra one each day. Not sure that would go over well either.

Old 09-20-2007, 05:45 AM   #14
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Roy47 HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

I would get him to see a doctor for the pain that he is in...

Something must be wrong with him some place in his body / if not go to counsling with him / if he does not or refused to go. Then go to the counseling for your well being.

If all else fails file for divorce as your marriage is going to be down hill and nothing but problems. These are just alternatives...

Only you and your heart knows what is best for your situation.


Old 09-20-2007, 06:18 AM   #15
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yvette777 HB User
Re: Help! My spouse takes my meds

I don't know what meds you are on...I would wonder does he have another problem like alcholism or drugs? Addictive personality? Always looking for the next high?

I know someone who has terrible problems physically and gets oxy and lortabs and his wife takes all of them. She has a huge habit or addiction, and there is nothing even wrong with her phsycially except that she has an addiction problem. It's sad. Its' sadder that he keep enabling her and keeps letting her have them. I think she clearly has a problem maybe depression or soemthing but going about curing it the wrong way.

I do know that since I've been fully medicated for years I have had countless people ask me for meds, I say NO. I keep them locked up because of kids, or anyone who thinks they can sneak some. If you go over your RX then you look like the addict and they wont' fill them.

I am sorry you are going through this. I hope you can find a good hiding place, Maybe inside tampons, he'll never look there lol.

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