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Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

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Old 02-18-2009, 11:32 AM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: United States
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mommyof2ak HB User
Smile Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

Ok, so I know this might be TMI for a lot of people, but I really would like to know what everyone else is experiencing with sex after a lumbar fusion.

My husband and I haven't been as active, for obvious reasons, but when we do share the moment, I always seem to pay the price for it the next day, or two, three days. We have tried different positions and haven't really found or been able to find one that doesn't cause me a huge amount of pain afterwards. Pain meds help before hand and after, but it's still so frustrating.

I did actually call and talked to the nurse at my surgeons office and she said that it was normal and to only do it missionary style or with me on top. UGH. I knew it was going to take some time to get back into tip top shape for sex, but I don't like feeling so bad afterwards.

Any ideas on how to savor the moment without paying the price for days after?
Sorry if some take offense to my post, but I really am curious as to what ya'll are doing in regards to taking care of "business".

Back surgery patients have so many great ideas and solutions to things I would love to hear some.

Thanks in advance for any responses.
Post-op 12/08/2008
PLIF L3-L4 with titanium cage
(Posterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion)

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Old 02-18-2009, 12:18 PM   #2
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Mamasan2007 HB User
Re: Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

Well, there are no easy answers to this one.
Maybe, you need more time to heal.
And your Hubby, must be patient.
Everyone's body is different, and your body is telling you it hurts.

Old 02-18-2009, 01:22 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Orlando, Florida, U.S
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bekkieboop89 HB User
Re: Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

(I hope this post isn't too racy for Health Boards. I'm trying to write as respectfully as I can)

I actually asked my Physical Therapist about this, and she recommended trying with the women on all fours (doggy). I hope that doesn't seem offensive to you (some women find that position demeaning), but it's been working well for my and my SO.

Apparently supporting yourself with your knees and your arms doesn't count as "Bending", so I recommend kneeling on your bed and propping your mid-section up with pillows - lots of pillows. Support your top half with your arms, and keep your spine nice and straight. Have your hubby enter from behind you - as long as he's careful it should be fun for you both.

You're going through a rough time and you and your husband deserve some time to be a couple, and enjoy that pleasure. I really hope this position works for you - if not and you can't find anything that works well, maybe that means that you should wait a few more weeks. There are lots of other fun, adult things to do in the bedroom that don't require intercourse, but I'm afraid if I list them here this message will be flagged for being inappropriate.

Good luck to you and your Hubby, I really hope you find something that works for you both,

Take care! XOXO!
"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.” - Frank A Clark

Old 02-18-2009, 08:07 PM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2009
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JanKR HB User
Re: Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

I must admit I admire the libido you guys have in the midst of all this!!

However, owwwww, don't think I'm ready for that yet and would suggest mutual self-gratification. Like someone said, there's more to do in the bedroom than the old tried and true. I'm just not willing to risk having to go through another fusion surgery for a roll in the hay.....not yet anyway....or to experience days of pain afterwards. Guess it's all in how much desire is involved! LOL.

Old 02-19-2009, 07:50 AM   #5
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lynn1961 HB User
Re: Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

hi ladies.....

Well, as we type our replys, we can get a lil giggle huh? Nothing wrong with "talking" about sex while recovering. We are all adult people Anyways.....sheesh, I was scared to try the getting on all 4's lol. Didnt know if it would hurt my back? Of course, my husband would surely NOT complain ha Most men enjoy that position anyways I agree with 1 of the posters,oops, it is bekki's reply, there are other methods a couple can do that doesnt require intercourse and both husband and wife are happy I figure we all know what shes trying to say.....and I agree with that method And of course, the bullet does help. Even without back issues, thats a good thing ha..... I will say seemed i had lost all feelings in that way for some odd reason. Im not talking about the mental feelings neither lol Seemed I was numb down there ugh....I was getting concerned. I am not sure if maybe it was because I had a incision in my lower ab? My incision starts at my pubic bone and ends at my belly button. Anyways girls........all feelings are back to normal now This is a pleasant issue to discuss because it is a positive that is my opinion lol


Old 02-19-2009, 07:55 AM   #6
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 366
marshrose HB User
Re: Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

It brought a smile to my face at least fun post.

Instead of all 4s you can bend over the side of the bed and prop yourself on pillows up good that works and alot less stress on the back too.

I was numb there too for a good few weeks, and also on neurontin which I think killed off some sensation there as well, but now it's back some so we've tried to take advantage of it coming back.

Last edited by marshrose; 02-19-2009 at 07:57 AM.

Old 02-19-2009, 08:54 AM   #7
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mommyof2ak HB User
Re: Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

[SIZE="3"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][/FONT][/SIZE]

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your suggestions and advice. I too think sex is a normal thing to talk about and was glad that others were able to join me about the curiosity.

I hope you all are doing well and enjoying your "time" with your loved one!

Post-op 12/08/2008
PLIF L3-L4 with titanium cage
(Posterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion)

Old 02-20-2009, 08:41 AM   #8
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Re: Post op PLIF......when will intimacy return....

Just to be sure you aren't hurting yourself with any position, please, please talk to your surgeon next time you see him. It's not a new question for him.

My surgeon told us to wait 6 weeks after surgery, then be careful and have me only flat and on the bottom.

It does take time to get your strength back, and since you're still healing it may be painful. Hopefully your hubby can be patient and not push you too much.

Hang in there. It will get back to a good place for both of you!


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