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    Old 01-16-2004, 08:29 PM   #1
    Labs
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    Need Help with Bipolar Co-Worker....

    Hello all,
    I am not bipolar however a co-worker of mine mentioned to me the other day that he is. He said the he was not taking medician for it because he was going to control himself with "sheer will". We are starting a new schedule were it is just me and him working close quarters. I really want to be able to get along with him but I'm not sure how to communicate with this guy! He takes everything the wrong way and is so defensive and offended by everything. I tried to give him a project the other day to help him be "less board" and feel "smart enough" as these were things he was complaining about. However I found out he ranted and raved about me all day to another co-worker that I went over his head to our boss. I apoligized and told him that I was trying to help him be less board and part of our group but didn't receive any response from him.
    He goes from extream intense focus on something he's really excited and into and the next minute he's slamming the phone down and talking about how bad other people are. Is this true bipolar cause another co-worker stated that bipolar's can't go from one extream to the next that fast, that it usually goes in weeks or days.
    One day we got in a fight at work so bad I started crying. The next day he told me that he was using his military intimedation tactics on me that day we got into the fight by raising his voice etc.
    A few times I've removed myself from the situation enough to realize he was trying his darn hardest to get me upset by telling me something he through would make me flip out to making derogitory comments about my life. Durring these times I just tell him everything will be okay! I've even asked him to repeat that everything will be okay and he couldn't do it! He gets very upset about things that he has not control over.
    Is this Bi-polar or just plain RAGE issues?

     
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    Old 01-17-2004, 05:19 AM   #2
    wobbly
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    Re: Need Help with Bipolar Co-Worker....

    To me, it's hard to know if it's his bipolar or if he's just an a--. Of course, there's nothing ruling out that he couldn't be both. It is possible for a bipolar person to exhibit the extremes he does if they're in a manic state. For some people, mania = irritability and rage, and it can be difficult if not impossible to get along with someone in that type of mania.
    He certainly sounds like he needs some major meds, but there again there are a lot of bipolars who really resist taking meds. He's got to get some help or he'll be out on his can eventually, whether because you can't tolerate his behavior or because he jerks the wrong person's chain.
    I wish I could tell you exactly what to do, but all I can really say is that if he is bipolar and in a manic state, he's not really in control of his actions. However, you don't have to tolerate his behavior. He needs to get help. If it takes you blowing the whistle on him, then so be it. You'd actually be doing him a favor if it gets him into treatment.
    Hope this helps.
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    Old 01-17-2004, 06:51 AM   #3
    Labs
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    Re: Need Help with Bipolar Co-Worker....

    Thanks for the help, I think it is a combination of probabley both him having anger issues and bipolar. Maybe your right and he does need to be called on his temper tantrums , he certainly shouldn't be using "military intimidation tactics" on me to make me cry. Another coworker said that if he tries it again I shouldn't hesitate to go to HR. The only reason I didn't go the first time he tried it was because I got so upset I wasn't in control of myself and used some words I probabley shouldn't have at work.
    You are right about he may be out on his can soon. The last job he had they advised him to post to a different department because he was so unliked in his last department.
    Today is our first day working together so we'll see how well it goes.
    thanks again for your help.

     
    Old 01-17-2004, 04:09 PM   #4
    ladylike226
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    Re: Need Help with Bipolar Co-Worker....

    Hello Labs,

    You just described my boyfriend to me. He is a horror. He was just diagnosed with bi polar last july. He also is a drug abuser, (coke, pot) He says such horrible things to me at one extreme then a few minutes he is loving me again and can't understand why I am so hurt. Its like being on an emotional roller coaster. Thank god this person is not your partner in life. All I can say is ignore him, especially when he is trying to get a rise out of you. They hate when they are ignored and eventually give up. Its a horrible situation to be in, but you dont have to take none of it. Go over his head and let someone know or at least let your boss know that you really don't wish to work so close with him, and explain why. I am sure someone will help you. Good luck, I hope all goes well.

    Ladylike

     
    Old 01-17-2004, 05:41 PM   #5
    sweetpoison68
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    Re: Need Help with Bipolar Co-Worker....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Labs
    Hello all,
    I am not bipolar however a co-worker of mine mentioned to me the other day that he is. He said the he was not taking medician for it because he was going to control himself with "sheer will". We are starting a new schedule were it is just me and him working close quarters. I really want to be able to get along with him but I'm not sure how to communicate with this guy! He takes everything the wrong way and is so defensive and offended by everything. I tried to give him a project the other day to help him be "less board" and feel "smart enough" as these were things he was complaining about. However I found out he ranted and raved about me all day to another co-worker that I went over his head to our boss. I apoligized and told him that I was trying to help him be less board and part of our group but didn't receive any response from him.
    He goes from extream intense focus on something he's really excited and into and the next minute he's slamming the phone down and talking about how bad other people are. Is this true bipolar cause another co-worker stated that bipolar's can't go from one extream to the next that fast, that it usually goes in weeks or days.
    One day we got in a fight at work so bad I started crying. The next day he told me that he was using his military intimedation tactics on me that day we got into the fight by raising his voice etc.
    A few times I've removed myself from the situation enough to realize he was trying his darn hardest to get me upset by telling me something he through would make me flip out to making derogitory comments about my life. Durring these times I just tell him everything will be okay! I've even asked him to repeat that everything will be okay and he couldn't do it! He gets very upset about things that he has not control over.
    Is this Bi-polar or just plain RAGE issues?
    It sounds like you are working with the guy that got fired from where i work about 3 months ago!!!! Same exact senario!!!!I would say dont let him run you over.Stand your ground!!!! This guy was bp 1...and not on meds either..I would say speak to someone higher up and nip it before it goes any farther...because it certainly will explode in your face !!I hope this all works out for you..
    SP68

     
    Old 01-18-2004, 11:40 AM   #6
    Labs
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    Re: Need Help with Bipolar Co-Worker....

    I let my boss know the the problems we were having and he just basically said that it will reflect in his raises and reviews.....okay. but the thing is that I have found that when other people are around if you just nod and listen to whatever kick he is on then eventually he gets over trying to impress me and get my attention. I think there might be some ADHD in there because it seems he can't handle to much stimulus it makes him crazy and next thing you know he's going in a million directions at once. When it's just me and him working he's calm and seems more centered. So far it's going okay but I'm waiting for when we have a real disagrement...who knows what will happen then as if I think someone is being out of line and passing harsh judgment then I will not be able to keep my mouth shut.
    thanks for all your posts and replys.

     
    Old 01-19-2004, 08:28 AM   #7
    thickman
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    Re: Need Help with Bipolar Co-Worker....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Labs
    I let my boss know the the problems we were having and he just basically said that it will reflect in his raises and reviews.....okay. but the thing is that I have found that when other people are around if you just nod and listen to whatever kick he is on then eventually he gets over trying to impress me and get my attention. I think there might be some ADHD in there because it seems he can't handle to much stimulus it makes him crazy and next thing you know he's going in a million directions at once. When it's just me and him working he's calm and seems more centered. So far it's going okay but I'm waiting for when we have a real disagrement...who knows what will happen then as if I think someone is being out of line and passing harsh judgment then I will not be able to keep my mouth shut.
    thanks for all your posts and replys.
    He should go to the doctors for proper therapie(s)...

    He does not have to go on meds... He can just do some talk therapy and stuff and that may help...

    He sounds like a real joy to work with

     
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