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pris0529 01-18-2004 01:29 AM

Help for Someone I Love Dearly

mudhound 01-18-2004 04:25 AM

Re: Help for Someone I Love Dearly
Hello and welcome to the board. First thing, DO NOT stay near him if he gets physically abusive! If for only for that reason, I would leave him NOW.
However, if (I stress IF) he has overcome the hitting, beating, and otherwise I would surly try to get him some help.
Now, he has to be willing to receive it. If he were not willing to seek help, I would leave. He has to admit that he needs help to get help. There are programs out there to help him get sober and medical assistance. Check with the local health department.
Lastly, the drug abuse issue hits a raw nerve with me. My wife who has BP is also an alcoholic. She has been sober for over a year now. Had she not gotten help with that? I would have left her to her own demise

Ruth6:11 01-18-2004 05:30 AM

Re: Help for Someone I Love Dearly
I am repeating this from a previous post that I replied to:

I don't care whether someone is Bipolar, not Bipolar, on drugs, had a rough childhood, or a bad day...
There is NO excuse for you to be abused by ANYone. Verbal, emotional, mental, physical - whichever. NO excuse.
Even a Bipolar evens out and knows if they need help/meds to keep from abusing someone.
Abusing others is NOT a symptom of Bipolar Disorder!
I have had BP1 since i was 13 and I am now 50 and I have never had a violent moment. I would rather be kicked out than allowed to mistreat someone like this.

Your friend may not be Bipolar. He could have a personality disorder, be passive aggressive, have explosive temper disorder, just be warped from his past or his drug use.

HE isn't going to change or get help from the sounds of it, YOU need to talk to a counselor on why you stay and to give yourself the strenth to leave.

You're worth more than this! Love is a LOT more than this!

ladylike226 01-18-2004 08:06 AM

Re: Help for Someone I Love Dearly
The previous post Ruth is talking about is mine. Go back and look it up if you have a chance. My bf to is a drug addict and has bipolar. I am a 35 yr old woman with children, and he is a 38 yr old man with children. He abuses all kinds of drugs from pot to coke to pills. He is so abusive I cant take it anymore. Right now in my mind is to get away from him. I have taken him myself to the doctors, he was refusing for a long time saying nothing was wrong. His family knows he is sick. They to do whatever he says just so they don't have to hear him. It is a horrible way to live. He was put on lexaprol, and he takes it but..................he is a drug abuser so they plan it when they are going to do drugs. So if he wakes up today and feels like doing drugs he wont take his medication for that day. He thinks that if he dont take his meds, it wont interfere if he does drugs. Which is quite the opposite. It effects it so bad that no one..........and I mean no one...............can be around him at all because he is soooo abusive verbally. He never hit me because he knows I won't take that. I am not the type to cry I am the type to strike. So here I am 2 yrs later and still in the same mess. If he don't want the help, you can't help him at all...... I have been hoping that he will get the help he needs. He has to want it, but first off he has to admit that there is a problem. Your bf needs to see that he has a drug problem and needs to see that he has a mental illness. He cant face one problem and put the other problem on the back burner. Thats what my bf did. Yes he got meds for the bipolar but now he is still a drug addict. He says that it isn't a problem. Well he starts a fight with me either every week or every 2 weeks and walks out and goes and does drugs. So you see, your not only facing a mental illness alone, your also facing a drug addict. My advice to you is.... If he dont get help for both illnesses, leave him. Your only 19 with a whole life ahead of you. Don't waste your time trying to help someone that don't want to be helped. I hope you work everything out, and please keep me posted.

potchrazebie 01-18-2004 06:19 PM

Re: Help for Someone I Love Dearly
Some things in this post are confusing to me. For example, has he hit you? It sounds like you've been very supportive. Only you know how much you can stand. In what manner is he verbally abusive, i.e. shouting, calling you names, cursing, getting in your face or what? I would say that if you feel physically threatened, frightened like he is about to hit you, you might consider leaving, even it is only temporary - like until he gets better.
But I will say one thing as a man, and I hope this is not offensive to anyone who has posted here. But I do find that there is a general perception in society nowadays, that if a man shouts it is necessarily true that he will next hit you. In fact, I find that there are an untold number of times when people shout but don't hit. But again, you know him better than I do.

"Male rage is an industry"

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