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  • Repressed Emotions(Mother is a Con Artist/I was Molested)-I think I'm bipolar!

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    Old 06-06-2004, 07:46 AM   #1
    lonetexans's Avatar
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    Repressed Emotions(Mother is a Con Artist/I was Molested)-I think I'm bipolar!

    OK - I'll make this as short as I can.

    I'm 31. Dad's side of the family has a lot of bipolar & ocd. Mother grew up in a perfect home but rebelled and has major problems.

    Growing up mom & dad fought all the time. Dad was time bomb. Mom was compulsive gambler, con artist, crook. She always had me hide things from dad and cover up all the crap she was doing. Things she did: took checks out of back of dad's checkbook & forged them, had me hide the mail, wrote hot checks all the time, hocked our cars, played bingo all the time, stole from stores to get money for bingo, had me sit in the car while she went into store to steal stuff so she could go take it back at another store for money for bingo & told me to drive away if she got caught (i was 13, i think), stole things from family members' homes & hocked it (jewelry, silver, etc.), screwed up my checking account i don't know how many times, stole paperwork from a doc's office & filled them out to show family she had brain tumor & needed thousands of dollars for treatment (really needed it for hot checks), tried to get me to tell my uncle i needed $2K for an abortion once because she needed it for hot checks (i didn't but who knows she prob told him that & got the money), and on and on and on.

    I was the only one who ever know about all the crap she did. I have an older bro & sister from mom's first marriage & 1 brother from mom & dad that lived w/ us. Older bro is alcoholic, sister is alcoholic & drug addict prob, younger brother nearly died & was in coma from drugs & now on Jesus kick for nearly 3 years extreme to another. I played w/ alcohol & drugs A LITTLE when I was younger, but all I've really done is smoke cigarettes & drink coffee and obsess & worry all the time.

    One time she wrote $50K in hot checks, had to tell my dad, made up some story that made it not her fault, she called me & told me he was going to get the gun, i drove over there while my bf (now husband of 6 yrs) called police, got to their house, all was fine, dad had drove away, cops came, all mad at me for calling police & mom denied to police that dad said that or that she said that to me.

    Picked up & moved out of state right after that to get away from all the crap. Didn't talk to her for 3 months. Got sucked back in again. Talked me into moving back home to work for her. Offered me big bucks. All was ok for a while, but then paychecks were bouncing all over the place. She was sued by the Attorney General, The Federal Trade Commission & had Postal Service inspecting her. I hung around as long as I could for her, but eventually had to get another job becuase my finances were in such a mess. Of course, I was abandoning her and she escourted me out of the building and took my keys from me.

    During this time she was forging my dad's name & stole what was left of his interitance of $150K. She forged his bank statements & he eventually went to the bank & found out what she did. He filed for divorce. Somehow they are still together. That was in 2002. She asked me one day if I would go w/ her to tell my dad why we did this. Told her hell no. I didn't do that - she did. For all I know my dad thinks I stole his money.

    After I stopped working for her, she told everybody a lot of lies about me: I stole $12K from her company, I was the reason the company failed, I was a drug addict, I stole her checkbook & wrote checks & that's why she couldn't make payroll, etc, etc, etc.

    It wasn't worth trying to tell anyone in my family what was really going on because there is no way they would believe me. Everything she had ever done was so outrageous! And noone ever knew but me.

    I did try to talk to my dad once when all this happened. I don't know what she had told him but he told me my behavior was atrocious and I was never welcome in their house again.

    My younger brother was sending me mean e-mails, my older brother was threating to come to my house from out of state to get the money I 'stole' back. It was crazy.

    My family and I moved a few cities over and I haven't spoken to anyone in my entire family in 2-3 yrs. I have a 10 yr old & a 4 yr old. They wanted to see my mother around x-mas of 2003. They have visited her a few times. My mother keeps trying to see me & talk to me. I want no part of it. I have e-mailed her, but that's it.

    Oh - I also was molested by a teacher in the 8th grade. My mother and sister knew about it and did nothing.

    So I FINALLY went to a counselor last week and spilled my guts about my mother. After everything she's done I still felt guilty 'telling on her'. My mother is in the medical industry and does medical billing for doctors. The doctor I talked to is a friend of someone my mother does billing for. Oops! Oh well. I realized that by me not taking care of me I was still protecting her.

    I also had an allergic reaction to spironolactone last week and am now on steroids, benedryl & tagment. I haven't cried in like 2 years or more & now I'm a basket case. It's probably just a combination of things.

    I don't have a major history of depression, but have been on prozac, paxil and some others for short periods of time.

    I've been reading these boards and am convinced I have bipolar.

    Can someone just respond to all my crap here. I am beside myself - worrying, obsessing, can't sleep, then can't get out of bed, crying, then fine, heart racing, dizzy, just sick over all this.

    I'm going to an internal medicine doc today but really need to be seeing the shrink which I have an appt for next week. I just flat feel like crap. I don't know if I'm feeling this way more because of the allergic reaction or because I finally let it all out about my mother.


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    Old 06-06-2004, 08:25 AM   #2
    whatamess@35's Avatar
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    Re: Repressed Emotions(Mother is a Con Artist/I was Molested)-I think I'm bipolar!

    I dont have your answers you are looking for.Sorry!!!
    I just wanted to write and let you are doing the right thing!!!
    We cant choose our family but when they cause us sooo much pain..We can choose to walk away!!! You cant change the past only your future!!!
    Let us know you are doing...I hope you find some peace soon!!

    Old 06-06-2004, 07:34 PM   #3
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    Exclamation Re: Repressed Emotions(Mother is a Con Artist/I was Molested)-I think I'm bipolar!

    You will suffer from depression. Possibly the rest of your life, especially if u do not deal with your issues. I am not going to be cold hearted and say some dumb thing like getting over it... u never do, all u can do is learn to deal with it.. some days will stink, others will be wonderful.. this doesn't mean u r BP, BUT you still need to seek assistance with what is going on with you... you know what will happen if u don't, even when someone doesn't want to admit that one thing that can happen... it can..
    Please find help, either from others who have gone through something like yours, or a umm.... shrink (trying to think of a word that won't get blanked out by the establishment.) btw, no, I have not been in your situation, however the doctor did ask if I was ever molested or sexually abused as a child... no, i wasn't... The doctor will prescribe u meds, they are not miricle pills, it will take time before u see the light of day... I can unfortunately only come to this board when I am in the "happy" mode... I suppose I could have used mania, but i happen to hate that word, because it doesn't really describe me... I am up, but not... REALLY UP... how else does one put that... I am also in deep do do dept, because, well, lets just say, never give me a credit card when I am Uppity up.. bouncing off the walls up... but I don't see myself as the sterero typical BP individual... however, if I had not seeked (seeked is not a word is it..) out.. I would not be typing this message out.. I'd be 6 feet under.. my coping, when I try to as best I can is making jokes, as tacky as they become, it is about ANYTHING, including myself.. when i am down, i hate the anger, the crying the disassociation.. (it happens when I get anger.. interesting, but scary.. it's u, but it isn't u..).. didn't help u a bit... I hope someone will get you to seek help and that you stick with it, even when u feel really good and want to quit the meds.. don't..

    Good luck... stick with it... the dark clouds will clear eventually..

    Old 06-07-2004, 05:09 PM   #4
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    Re: Repressed Emotions(Mother is a Con Artist/I was Molested)-I think I'm bipolar!

    Thanks for going over your situation in detail; I know it must be hard for you, especially under these circumstances. I wish you the best. I think the best thing you can do right now is to get your priorities right and put your energy into the most urgent and important things, esp. if you're having a crisis, BP or not. Here's a list of questions that I think can help you assess where you're at in this regard, so you can make the best decisions to help yourself.

    - Are you drinking or doing any drugs? All my knowledge and experience tells me that it's really important to get this out of the equation ASAP, esp. if you are having a BP crisis.
    - Are you using any Rx meds right now? Which, and how are they working out, esp. the ones that you think aren't?
    - Do you think you are in an especially strong depression right now? If you do, where does this 'rank' relative to others you've had? Have they been getting more frequent and/or more intense?
    - To what extent do you think you can count on your husband for support, now and in the longer run?
    - What kind of "support network" do you have now, ie counseling, groups, church, friends? If you think you need more, esp. alot more, then would you be willing to work with some support group to help you?
    - Do you think your nutrition is OK or that you might need some help in this area?
    - Are you sleeping OK or thinking that you might need help in this area?
    - Anything else you think is a significant problem?

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