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So Confused

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Old 03-08-2005, 07:44 AM   #1
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Colefort HB User
So Confused

Does bipolar make you go days without wanting to talk to anyone? My gf who is hypomanic bipolar and I were just getting back to normal. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday we had a great time, and were very close to each other. Sunday she said that she was crabby, and didn't want to do anything. Her mom warned me to watch out for her that day. I called her later that night to see if she was ok, she said yes, and then there was silence, so I just let her go. She seemed ****** that I asked if she was ok. I think she gets mad when I acknowledge her bipolarity. Monday, the same thing, I called to see how her day went, she said fine, but that she is really tired, I asked, you want me to let you go, she said yes. I wrote her an email last nite, just to say anything I could to her. She wrote me back "I'm glad", and that is it. Is it normal to not want to talk to anyone for a couple days? I was under the impression that episodes were quicker. Also, what do I do? Do I just wait and let her call me? Do I just call each night to say hi, and expect to be rebuffed until this passes so she knows I am still there? What is the best way to approach this? Keep in mind, she is unmedicated. On a good note to those of you who have read about my situation in my previous post, her parents have agreed to pay for her meds. She told her sister that she tried to make an appt, but the dr is away or something. Maybe if I ride things out, stuff might go back to normal. Who knows, I am so emotionally drained. I have never cried this much in my life.

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Old 03-08-2005, 08:11 AM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesota, just moved from California where I lived my whole life.
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polarized13 HB User
Re: So Confused

BP makes you do a lot of things you wouldnt normally do. My husband talks about the happy, outgoing, positive person I was ten years ago, and how now im Moody (duh) and often irriatable and don't want to go around people at all. There is a ton to learn about with bp. Finding the right combination of meds helps. And recognizing when a episode is about to hit helps, too. I always start getting really agitated, like I have no patience for anything at all. If I get too tired, I will go into a depression...I don't know how it feels to be the one on the other end of it, like you. I would just get her to learn more about her condition, which is hard if she doesnt want to talk about it...Hang in there. BP is tough to cope with. I was 34 when I was diagnosed, and maybe being older and more mature made a difference. It sounds like she's depressed. She might need wellbutrin, or some other anti-depressant. An episode can last for an hour or a month....I used to be a rapid-cycler, so I would be happy in morning and sad in the afternoon. Or vice versa. She needs to get to the doctor!!! Good luck

Old 03-08-2005, 09:49 AM   #3
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Kahlia25 HB User
Question Re: So Confused

She needs to get on medication to stabilize her moods. It is normal to not want to talk to anyone when you are depressed. I used to unplug my phones????? Anyway, people still knew I was at home. As far as what you can do, there isn't too much if she will not agree wo get some help. tell her you lobve her but also tell her your feelings. Do not keep them in, then you will become bitter and drained from trying to "appease"her moods. It is a hard thing to deal with on the other end. Just hang in there but I cannot stress enough to express yourself. It keeps YOU sane.......kahlia
I have seen many things BUT the most terrible thing I have ever seen was the lack of compassion for another.....................Kahlia

Old 03-09-2005, 04:50 PM   #4
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angelblue65 HB User
Re: So Confused

I guess this is a chatty night for me. I wanted to respond about your GF's moods. My BF is BP II and has rapid cycling and mixed states. So it is not uncommon for him to go from being down/melancholy one moment and then up minutes later. Even harder to get used to is displaying symptoms of both at the same time. I have learned a couple of things when he gets really down about something. Listen, listen, listen. During these times, at least for him, it is a very sensitive area and I have to be extremely careful and choosy with my words. Of course what I want to do is just wrap my arms around him and make all the "bad" go away but I make sure he gets to say everything he wants to say (it's not good to interrupt because he can lose his train of thought which can be very frustrating). I then ask if it's ok to offer an opinion. There have been a few times where I have reacted instead of being sympathetic and it has not gone well. The other thing is there seems to be hot and cold with his feelings. I don't mean that sometimes he feels that he loves and me and other times he doesn't. That has not been the problem. But sometimes he's needy, sometimes fun and cuddly, and other times he just needs his space and asking if he's coming to bed can set him off. My point is to recognize which time your GF is experiencing and act accordingly. If you remain a constant in her life instead of reacting, she will begin seeing you as the person in her life she can count on and maybe she won't shut you out as much when she does experience her "down" times. I hope this helps!

Old 03-10-2005, 07:04 AM   #5
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NodiGoiterGirl HB User
Re: So Confused

That is so true. Being reactive does not help things at all. My husband has many days where he just needs to be left alone. I do my best to just let him get through it. If I ask him a question, he may snap at me...I then know that it is not a good day for questions. If he wants to lay on the couch and sleep I let him, If he wants to work on his car, I let him, when he's ready to talk again he's ready to talk again. I try to let him know I'm here for him but don't invade his space.
It is different in every relationship and it can take time to find the best method for coping with the down days. It is always a learning experience.

Old 03-13-2005, 10:54 AM   #6
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Colefort HB User
Re: So Confused

Thank you all for your posts, this last episode has just passed. I have never seen one as pronounced from her before. I was a basket case the first couple days. Your posts really helped me get through this one. I don't know what I would have done this last week if I hadn't found this site, and had everyone's support and help. I hate to say it, but I might have given up by now. Thank you all very much.

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