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Need encouragement and advise

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Old 04-19-2006, 11:16 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2
SV650RR HB User
Need encouragement and advise

Sorry for being so long winded - I hate when people ramble on and on in forums, but please read this . . . . . cuz I really need some encouragement. Thanks.

I've been dating an 18 year old girl that has bipolar II. And although the road has been bumpy, I love her to pieces. I guess I should give you a little history before I can ask for advise. She was diagnosed with this when she was 16 and tried taking her life. Her brother found her in the closet with a broken rope around her neck. So thats when she got help. Now she's been on the right meds for while and she had a therapist to go to with her problems.....but he got fired or something and now guess who gets all the crap. ME! Today I just heard from her and she got a new therapist finally - I guess our episode yesterday made her mom get on the ball. So I have two problems that need dealing with:

Yesterday she got really stressed with school projects and stuff and I ended up being the one that happened to be in her way. We were talking on msn for about two hours (while I was at work) and she kept talking about killing herself (not indirectly - blatantly saying I WANNA KILL MYSELF and stuff like that). So basically, I'm freaking out because she, herself, has told me that when people talk about suicide, they aren't begging for attention, they really do mean it. So I'm freaking out and she signs off msn and "goes for a walk". Then an hour or so later, I see her sister online, so I talk to her and she didn't see her sis at home, so I call her cell to see if she's okay. Cell's off. Goody, goody gumdrops. Now what do i do. So I summed up the story and told it to her sister and her sis told her mom. Then they found her - in a closet (don't ask). And my heart starts beating a bit more normally. Then my girlfriend gets mad at me because now her mom thinks she's suicidal again - and I was like......what would you call what you were saying to me??? So apparently I WANNA KILL MYSELF is a figure of speech. She assured me that she would NEVER go back to the cutting/suicide days. And I do trust her....but why would she "joke" or whatever you wanna call it about wanting to kill herself and saying she wished the rope wouldn't have broke when she tried it before.

There's this guy that wants to hang out with my girlfriend and from the facts I know, its in a more than a "just friends" kind of way. She doesn't see it as this, but why else would he not want me to tag along? Anyway, there's more facts than this and I told her that either she needs to tell this guy to get lost, or if she can't, I'd be more than willing. So a couple weeks after this, my curiosity gets the best of me and I read her text message history on her cell phone. Instead of ignoring him like she said she would, she keeps flirting with the guy. So I talk to her about it and she says she doesn't understand herself. And she doesn't think it would be right to tell the guy what he's trying to do is wrong. So basically, its turns out, she's very confused as to what to do - she's starting to see the warning signs I'm seeing but still doesn't know what to do. My question is - Is this normal for someone who's bipolar and what should I do? I have the guy's phone number, so I could have a talk with him if I have to. But I don't want my girlfriend to think I don't trust her.

Any thoughts and advise would be greatly appreciated.

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Old 04-19-2006, 01:39 PM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Evrett WA
Posts: 33
lynelle101 HB User
Re: Need encouragement and advise

First of all I want to commend you for your loyalty to your gf that's awesome you remind me of the hell I put my bf now husband of 13 years through. I have just been recently diagnosed bp manic depressive and ptsd. My poor husband has went through hell and still is. Love man what a strong emotion of endurance... Anyway the suicide thing last resort for me when I want him to know I am really at breaking point and I feel it not that I am going to do it but the thoughts are so with me it scares me .I will deny it for the guilt of thinking about it because I attempted to kill myself at the age of 18 my husband kicked the bathroom door down and well I am still here.... So at anyrate I did self destructive behaviour all the way up well I still do I cut regularly to feel alive. I also have 3 kids poor kids. As far as the flirting thing definatley part of the bp I think I have heard that from alot of bp people. I don't know exactly why but it's almost like automatic pilot. Usually its when we are feeling really good about ourselves we are so high that we are not ourselves it's another way of acting out to escape our reality I guess. Most of the times it leads to allot of sexual activity in allot of cases, for me i did alot of flirting now I am going through so much panic I avoid people at all cost. I would seriously sit down with your gf and let her know how much you love her and tell her that this is really a symptom of her illness and there is allot of info on the net under google bipolar if you look you will see that that's a symptom that allot of people experience along with being just reckless in behaviour. At any rate express your concern that you would like her not to be in contact with this guy because its not healthy for her and if shes okay with it you will talk to the guy and reassure her that you trust her, but you really want to focus on her getting well and taking care of herself. Sorry if this dosen't make sence I haven't slept for a couple of days Best Wishes Lynelle

Last edited by lynelle101; 04-19-2006 at 01:42 PM.

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