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Serious Advice Only Please

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Old 05-02-2006, 09:48 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5
shine_thru HB User
Serious Advice Only Please

Hello all.. To try and explain all of the last four years with my son is .. well impossible so I will try and shorten it up ..My son is 12 years old. He was diagnosed bipolar 1 last year at bc childrens hospital in vancouver. He has been in and out of hospital five times in four years. He is now in hospital again after only being home since feb. My son has a fetish. He wants to wear diapers.

He stole suppository's from a grocery store , came home went to the bathroom . Came out with blood all over his hands. He looked scared and said something was wrong with his bum. He then told me it was his finger , then he said he put 8 of them up there at once. Well we soon realized that he had used the tin foil of the package to cut his rectum all up. He had a lot of different reasons to as why..

HE said he was sad and wanted to hurt himself , then it was that he wanted to see himself bleed. Then he finally came out with , he thought if he used the suppositories long enough he would become dependent and have to run to the bathroom all the time and maybe it would convince me to let him wear diapers. For as long as I can remember my son has always had a thing for diapers. He has done a good job of hiding it the last few years but has been caught on the internet looking up adults in diapers in a sexual way.

I am praying that he can get the help he needs but he wont open up to the doctors so they are frustrated. One doctor seemed to think he was border line personality disorder rather than bipolar.? Are fetishes a big part of the illness.? I want to know how I can help him function when he is in hyper sexuality mode which seems to be the case. Yes he is only 12 but he is also five feet ten inches tall and very much well into puberty.

I do not understand what is happening to my son. He is a kind person and very lovable. He also fantasizes about harming myself and his brother. We have all the knives put away , all the medicines and pills. He is so down on himself and figures he would be better off dead. All that consumes him is his thoughts and they are of very wierd sorts so that makes him feel like a freak. So he concentrates on the fetish. Really if anyone has some serious advice on how to help this situation .. please would be appreciated.

he is currently in a locked room in the hospital , hopefully he will be let out today.

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Old 05-03-2006, 04:28 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bean Station, TN, usa
Posts: 2,188
mudhound HB User
Re: Serious Advice Only Please

WOW! What issues! The pain you feel must be huge.
Welcome to the board. My wife has had issues with self mutulation. Man was that hard to deal with. She was a cutter. Her therpist has been so helpful to her and me too. Getting to the root of the issue (s) is tough. It seems that you have found at least one of them.
My best advice, do not give up. There is hope.
God Bless


Old 05-03-2006, 09:09 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 663
coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: Serious Advice Only Please

How difficult it must be being in your shoes as a parent, loving your child and seeing them go through so much turmoil, confusion, and frustration. Continue to show support, love, and concern for your son, so he knows how much you care about him.

Going through this will be difficult for everyone in your family, not just for him, as it will effect all of you. However, you still can't stop living your own life either for the sake of you and your other son. Your other son needs you as well. I'm sorry things are hard for you as a parent.

I have Bipolar Disorder. There was a time when I had thoughts of harming my family. Why? It is part of the disorder. The pdoc explained to me it was manifested from severe stress in my life at that time. They didn't hospitalized me, but instead, for my family, they put my children into respite care every weekend, and placed them into daycare during the weekdays. It helped tremendously. The thoughts subsided. It was a horrifying time of my life, and for my DH as well. We never told the rest of the family because none of them would/could understand it- or the illness. Instead, they would have judged me for it.

Sexual tendencies are common with this illness. To the extent of them depends on the nature of the illness. That is something only the pdoc can answer to you, and you will have to speak to your sons pdoc about that question to get an answer about that. It must be very hard for you dealing with all of this.

Take care of yourself. Make sure you have one night out a week with your other son so he knows that he gets some TLC time with his dad away from the stuff going on at home. The thoughts will subside, the harming thoughts I mean, once the meds kick in. I'm sure they have readjusted his meds a lot and that will make a huge difference.

Best regards


Old 05-03-2006, 08:01 PM   #4
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5
shine_thru HB User
Thanks for support

Hello , thanks for your encouraging words and kindness. My son is on the adolescent pych ward and out of the isolation room which is great. I saw him today and had a meeting with doctors. He will be going to a fetish expert so to speak . I hope this will help. He has started to open up to the doctors about his fetish of wanting to wear a diaper . It pretty much all boils down to him being in sexual overdrive and he becomes extremely irritable when he can not full fill his wants. I am having great difficulty understanding this and feel he is much too young to have to experience something so confusing.

I am hoping they drop the med abilify as he was started on it in feb of this year and seems to have become worse since. I am having a hard time knowing how to be around my son. I want to be this loving , happy mom that I always am. But when I look at him I feel so sad. Worried and confused.

Thanks again for the advice..

Old 05-04-2006, 10:35 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 663
coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: Serious Advice Only Please

Hi Shine Thru

Things sound encouraging. When dealing with mental illness one has to take each step a little at a time, and everything one day at a time. That is very hard to hear, I know. I was once told that, and now I understand why I was told that by my tdoc.

Abilify is a powerful drug. Each drug effects every person differently and in its own way; positively or negatively. I take Abilify and it works for me but I know of others that have taken it and it did not fair well for them either. The downfall for me with it is that it has caused weight gain; otherwise, it has not caused me any further problems. Other people I know of have had insomnia or mania with it.

As a mom, I can see why you feel sad, confused and very concerned. It would be very upsetting and overwhelming. Are you getting any sleep? I hope that you are able to sleep. Sleep is very important, especially when you are under a lot of stress. So is exercise. Try to get some walks in during the week. It is good for your health- mentally and physically. Go for walks with your other son or to a movie; a funny one.

I hope that things with your son go well this week during therapy and his sessions.

With many hugs


Old 05-11-2006, 09:55 AM   #6
Join Date: May 2006
Location: hespeira, ca usa
Posts: 4
cathark HB User
Re: Serious Advice Only Please

I just wanted to give a little of my own advice. Short background info. I have two sons which have both been in phy. hospitals, I have also been diagnosised bipolar. The counseling and advice that has been given to me has been priceless. Both my sons are healthy raising children of their own, have great jobs and own their own homes. I could not ask for better for them. My best advice is that you need to love your son unconditionally, regardless of what he does or is. He needs to feel like he is not a freak regardless of what he is going through. Love him, Love is the best thing you can do for yourself and him. We all love our children, but they must feel it. Let the Dr.'s do the hard work, and once they are done, get a second oppinion. I will pray for you and your family. I feel for you.

Old 05-11-2006, 07:54 PM   #7
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 71
cth HB User
Re: Serious Advice Only Please

Hi Shine thru,

I really don't have advice but will support you anyway I can.

I was a cutter but went into a dbt program and it helped me stop, but I am 56 so it is obviously a different story.

Try not looking at ANY label the Drs. are sticking on your son.

Perhaps there are pediatric specialists who can help him with the harmful thoughts and the fetish. I would look around. Maybe a large teaching hospital can give you some help or at least referals.

Well I guess I am giving advice.


Last edited by cth; 05-11-2006 at 07:55 PM.

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