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fallen_angel 06-13-2006 01:51 PM

worried about bipolar dad
hi everyone :wave:
for those who havent been following my posts on here, ive just been diagnosed bipolar last month, and my dad is also bipolar.
Ive never had much of a relationship with him as he had several affairs throughout my childhood and we spent more years apart than together, but we are in contact at the moment. He was diagnosed bipolar about 5 years ago and in that time has been involuntarily admitted to hospital several times.His bipolar is more severe than mine and he gets psychotic episodes.The main problem is that he refuses to recognise his illness or take his meds.He is put on them while in hospital, gets better so he is back to being his old self, and then stops taking them as he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. Then he ends up in an episode and its terrible.I hate to see him ill and it has caused the family so much distress.
I know only too well what bipolar can be like and i know i have upset my family a great deal myself and caused a lot of problems, but this is the exact reason why im sticking to my meds no matter what. i just dont understand why he cant do the same. I know a common symptom of the illness can be refusal to admit to it or stay on meds, but its starting to make me angry as all this heartache could be so easily avoided.
He was in a bad episode about 3 months ago and was put on meds, but has now stopped taking them and is already showing signs of becoming ill again. Im so worried about what is going to happen next. Even though im bipolar myself i dont know what i or anyone else can do to help him. i know its really down to him to help himself, but if he wont do that what will become of him? im terrified he could do something stupid one day.
Can anyone offer any advice? as far as i know he was taking olanzapine and has also been on risperadol in the past
thanks :angel:

kiehn 06-13-2006 02:48 PM

Re: worried about bipolar dad
As you know Im also bipolar been on meds since 93, I also did the same as you dad until 99 when I ended up in hospital, but it was the look on my daughters face and the pain of what I had done to my family that has kept me on my meds. Im almost 50yrs old, my father also had affairs, spent more time in the bars then at home Im sure you know how it can be. For years I held his actions against him, it wasnt until the last few years have I finally seen he is BIPOLAR without a doubt all the signs are there. I can also now see my mother is schozophenic, but neither of them would ever admit it,
they wont even come see me when I was hopitalized and tried to blame it on havng a fever. I dont speak with them now due to a serious issue, but even if I did I've finally accepted that this is their problem and Im not going to stress myself out. Ive read this, maybe it will help. Everyone learns different life lessons at different ages, so just because someone at 18 learns a lesson it doesnt make them any better or worse then the person that finally learns it at 80, just means it wasnt their time to learn that lesson yet Then there's those who never learn. I've always been amazed with those people who are able to love unconditionally. I dont think Im one of them.

coffeegirl2 06-13-2006 04:18 PM

Re: worried about bipolar dad
fallen angel

I don't have any advice. Just know you are in my thoughts. My dad was an undiagnosed bipolar. It was horrid being around him. I loved him dearly but he drove us all batty when he was alive with all the strange things he'd do and mood swings.

If I had wise words of wisdom I'd share them but I don't have any, and I am sorry that I don't. (((HUGS))) I can only imagine how frustrating you must feel and anxious, etc. That also is a trigger for you too, and in the midst of it all one must take care of themselves. And that is hard to do too.

Please know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself. Thinking of you.

Coffeegirl :angel:

fallen_angel 06-14-2006 01:01 AM

Re: worried about bipolar dad
thank you to you both for your replies.
Coffeegirl your post was very sweet, i can imagine how hard what you went through must of been. You expect your parents to protect you and to be the strong figures in your life growing up, and when that stability goes, you feel so lost.
i know underneath theres no real advice that can be given in thi situation, but will take what you said onboard as regards myself.
thinking of you too,
Fallen :angel:

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