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made a friend with bipolar angry, help

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Old 10-22-2006, 05:29 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Cleveland, Ohio USA
Posts: 2
yellowrose2 HB User
Question made a friend with bipolar angry, help

A friend of mine is bipolar and I said something that made her angry or maybe it was hurt. We were talking, laughing on the phone then something I said triggered an emotion I never seen before in her. I'm not sure how I said it or even what I said, but she said I through her for a loop and needed some space and she hates when she's like this. I'm very sorry for hurting her and I've tried talking to her, but she won't talk or look at me. We work together and it's been 2 weeks and now she went to the head manager and complained I'm harrassing her. I never expected this from her. I know she has many issues she deals with from people in her life, but I don't understand whats going on in her head. I'm really trying to understand, I want to. She is tough on the outside, but fragile on the inside. I've read articles on bipolar and she had told me what she goes through and how she feels. I know she can be very moody, but she has never acted this way towards me. We have only been friends for a year, but i have always tried to be there for her. Recently she has been helping me deal with some problems and she is the only one of my friends that I have been able to open up to. Maybe because she knows how it feels to have ups and downs; she even talked me into seeing a therapist next week. She has been there for me and wanted me to call her whenever I felt I needed help or to talk. So with everything going on with me lately, I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with her. I'm confused with how she is reacting and don't know how to fix it. I have realized now that she needs her space. Many people have said to leave her alone and maybe she'll come around. These people do not know she is bipolar. She is almost like a walking time bomb around me and I didn't do or say anything that bad to cause this. How do I deal with this? Does someone with bipolar get into this mood and never get out of it? or is it time and space what she needs? I miss our friendship but I don't want to push her into hating me. Please help me into understanding what I can do or shouldn't do. I want to understand more about being bipolar, this is why I'm writing here for the first time.

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Old 10-23-2006, 12:44 AM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 470
Picali HB User
Re: made a friend with bipolar angry, help

I think the best thing you can do is leave her alone. Being BI-Polar isn't necessarily anything to do with this - people have a right to be angry or hurt regardless of any medical conditions. No-one is able to change or 'fix' another person - it sounds like true friendship at this point would mean respecting her wishes and keeping your distance. If it is a storm in a tea-cup, then at some point she will calm down and get in touch or make a conversation with you. If she doesn't wish to be a friend to you anymore, there's nothing you can do about and it would be better to leave her be. People with bi-polar have a lot to deal with. I prefer to deal with my moods alone, as I find most other people, however well meaning, often make the situation harder.

Old 10-23-2006, 01:00 AM   #3
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: PHILA,PA,USA
Posts: 188
Re: made a friend with bipolar angry, help

Hi Picali,
My Son Is Bipolar 15 1/2. He Is Ok Right Now On Meds. I Have 2 Friends Bipolar. One For 15yrs But We Didnt Speak Over A Disagreement For 4 Yrs. I Do See Her Now And It Is The Same. The Other Person I Met June And We Hit It Off. But She Told Me She Shuts Down For A Long Time And Its Not Personal. Well I Feel Hurt And I Think I Did Something Wrong But I Didnt. She Still Dont Talk To Me And She Lives Next Door. Its Been A Month. So Hang In There. My Other Friend And My Son Tell Me They Go Off And It Has Nothing To Do With Me. I Hope You Keep Writing On Board. There Are Wonderful Bipolar Or Not People On This Board And It Helps Me Alot. I Dont Feel So Alone.
She Will Be Back. True Friends Always Do...
Take Care

Old 10-31-2006, 06:14 PM   #4
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Cleveland, Ohio USA
Posts: 2
yellowrose2 HB User
Re: made a friend with bipolar angry, help

Hi MSLAINIE & Picali

Thank you for your in-put about my friend. I havn't been online lately because i have been seeing a therapist. She's been helping me with depression. I've been trying to deal with alot of things at once. But, I want to say that both of you were right about friendship. Being BP isn't always the cause of someone's anger. Yes, they have the right to be if they've been hurt by someone. It has been very difficult working in the same place with her and not being able to talk. But, i've stayed away and am giving her space. I have a new understanding of how bi-polar affects people in different ways due to reading this message board. Yesterday when I came into work she accually tried to help me find my uniform and spoke a few short words! I was shocked, but went with the flow. I'm still going to stay away and give her the space she needs and will let her talk when she's ready. I'm definetly not pushing it! Thank you for your help!


Last edited by yellowrose2; 10-31-2006 at 06:20 PM.

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