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Just Needing to Vent

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Old 10-24-2006, 08:23 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Jefferson TN USA
Posts: 9
moodypoo HB User
Unhappy Just Needing to Vent

Im bipolar and my main triggers are sleep and stress which many of you have the same triggers as well. My daughter is 16 years old and is driving me nuts.
She says very hurtful things to me like you have never been a mother to me in 16 years so why start now. she tells me she hates me. Im nothing but a bipolar freak ! I have gotten her some books and sit her down at the computer to read up on bipolar. But she refuss to understand what, I go throught. It seems to be about her all the time. Which is fine with me because , I would rather forget about me being bipolar. And help someone eles that has another problem. I take my meds like i should and try my best. But it seems to me that , Im always a freak in her book.
Like, I said she is 16 and now she is telling me that she is dating a 21 year old. Which, I have met and seems to be a very nice guy. But he is 21 and she is 16. I have spoken with the young man and told him that 16 would get him 21. I really don't know how to deal with this. I also have a son that is 4 and started preschool. and he loves it. But with her mouth lashing out at me. he has began to start it. and got me in the wal-mart the yesterday and screamed as loud as he could your a bipolar freak! Gotten him out of the buggy and went straight to my car and cryed myself home. I have a very loving husband been married for 20 years this nov. But he a truckdrive and not at home alot with us. so its hard for him to believe this is going on. My mother just thinks of me as a sicko puppy. So right now im not getting any support from any of my family at the moment. so if any advice i could get will be used. I hate this and I hate being bipolar!

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Old 10-24-2006, 08:33 AM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: scotland, uk
Posts: 272
xxxzoexxx HB User
Re: Just Needing to Vent

your daughter seems to be being very unkind to you. But as she is a teenager i'm sure she'll grow out of it, Alot of teenagers are like that unfortunatly.If your son is picking up what your daughter says, make sure she never says anything like that in front of him. I'm sorry if this wasn;t much help.

Take care.

Old 10-24-2006, 10:23 AM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 470
Picali HB User
Re: Just Needing to Vent

Sit your daughter down and tell her that, whilst you are happy to discuss any issues she has and you are always willing to listen what she has to say, you are not willing to be verbally abused. Point out that name calling (ie bi-polar freak) is not acceptable, and in future there will be a consequence to any verbal abuse (loss of allowance/not allowed out/has to miss dance class/whatever you think is workable) and then make sure you stick to that. Be willing to listen to her, but make sure she understands that this kind of behaviour is hurtful and that you are not going to take it.

Perhaps the two of you would benefit from regular time once a week to sit down and air any differences? She might respond well to this if you can have an hour or so one evening a week to address any problems and both do a bit of talking and listening. As for your little boy, he's four and there's no way he should be allowed to speak like that - same thing applies, tell him it's rude and hurtful and decide on a consequence, and then make sure you follow through if he's rude like that again.

You've got enough to cope with without your kids being rude! My guess is you feel guilty about being a bi-polar mum (most of us do) which is why you're letting them get away with it. I'm perfectly prepared for my son to be hacked off about his topsy turvy upbringing as he gets older, which is fine and understandable, but name calling like this is never acceptable and should never be tolerated. Your kids won't respect you if you don't respect yourself!

Old 10-24-2006, 10:39 AM   #4
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 5,811
goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: Just Needing to Vent

(((((HUGS))))) Moodypoo I know that these words must be quite hurtful coming from your daughter and now from your son. I think that when it comes to your son that you ought to sit him down and have a talk with him about the words he says and how hurtful they can be comparing it to something else that he can understand such as somebody who has a broken leg and another person kicking him where the bone is broken. Tell him that his older sister is saying this to you because she knows how it hurts and wants to hurt mommy back because she is going through her own hard time but that doesn't make it right.

One thing that comes to mind is that perhaps your daughter is starting to show the signs of possibly having the disorder herself. I know that my daughter before she was diagnosed said and did the most hurtful things to me which came from the irritability when in a mixed state. She would say words I could never repeat and since being medicated I haven't heard those words again. So that is something that I would definitely keep in mind while this is all going on.

BTW.....I LOVED how you addressed the 21 year old boyfriend. I would keep my eyes wide open on that one....the best advice I can give you is NEVER say anything bad about will only make her want to defend him which will only have her staying with him to get back at you. In fact becoming his new best friend would work out much better!!

As far as hubby, yup been there and done that....the mosts difficult thing is when they strike like vipers when nobocy else is around and unless you have the wounds to prove it (which we harbor within) there is just no way of getting the defense/support that we need.

I am proud to see that you are taking your meds. Keep taking good care of yourself and remember that being 16 isn't doesn't dismiss what your daughter is doing, however, if you remember how much it sucked to be 16 then perhaps it will be easier for you to understand how she is taking it out on YOU!!

((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody

Old 10-31-2006, 07:49 AM   #5
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Jefferson TN USA
Posts: 9
moodypoo HB User
Re: Just Needing to Vent

Thanks everyone who repiled, I have been away for a few days and haven't had the internet with me. My mother was very sick and needed me so , I was there thanks for all the input on this matter , i will take heed to them all. thanks so much.

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