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upset and confussed

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Old 10-30-2006, 05:17 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: germany
Posts: 67
crazywoman77 HB User
Unhappy upset and confussed

yesterday went well or at least i thought so went to a regimental family day with the kids unfortunately as i was feeling ok i had a few drinks there and i was ok with it but got into a row with hubby when i got home something and nothing really. What really hurt was after it was all over he came in in a bad mood still and told me he cant cope with my moods anymore (even though I feel they are more under control) I tried explaining to him what goes on and how i feel but got the response of " we all have issues deal with them" it really feels like i am banging my head against a brick wall here and i wonder if in the long term we can survive this. However this morning it is like nothing happend and he doesnt want to talk about it now. This has obviously left me feeling very confused about everything. Always waffeling I know sorry but needed to at least get this off my chest.

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Old 10-30-2006, 08:34 AM   #2
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 5,805
goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: upset and confussed

Hi....I am glad you came to vent. Bipolar often involves your experiencing things that you can or cannot control. And often what is perceived by the one with the disorder and those who are around him/her are perceived differently.

One thing I notice in what you have shared is that things were going well until you had a few drinks which for the most part IS under your control as to whether or not you can handle that. WE all know that other external factors will affect how the meds that are essential to stability are working whether it be in the form of stress, poor diet, lack of proper sleep AND/OR use of alcohol and/or drugs. All of these factors are within your if you have noticed that a few drinks affects your moods in such a way that it causes a row between you and a loved one the best thing you can do is avoid doing that again. The meds will only help so much leaving the rest up to you. Avoiding situations and things that will trigger mood changes is importaant and perhaps not having those few drinks next time even though you think you are okay to have them may be something you CAN do to prevent the things that make it difficult for your hubby, family or friends to deal with. By learning what you can do to control your moods is just as important as taking your meds.

I hope that you don't think that I am being too harsh but it is something I see that perhaps may help you to see a way to prevent such unpleasantries between you and hubby.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody

Old 10-30-2006, 03:51 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 618
bpd_bipolar HB User
Re: upset and confussed

I was married for 5 years and then got a dissolusion. I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 4 years (my boyfriend and I both have Bipolar, I also have BPD and he also has ADHD).

My husband (ex) thought it was all in my head, he couldn't understand how real all the ups and downs were. So, one day (after we had our final papers) he called me up and asked me to take him to the hospital. I did. As he laid in the hospital bed, severely depressed because the girl he was seeing dumped him, he looked at me and as he cried said to me that he wa sorry for ever doubting me, that he now got a taste of severe depression and now knew that it wasn't in my head and that it was real and he didn't know how I managed to cope with it.

It made me feel good to know he now understood, but I felt bad for him, I then made sure his mom knew to come up there and I told him that he would always have a place with me in my heart, but that I belonged at home with my boyfriend and not by his bed side. He understood.

It sadened me that he had to find out that way how I really felt some days.

They just don't understand how we feel. No one can ever know how bipolar feels unless they go throw it themselves, just have a taste of a mood swing.

Hang in there............

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