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big decison

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Old 11-01-2006, 05:58 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: indiana
Posts: 43
mcdreamy HB User
big decison

Well,today we finally separated. I am numb and nervous all at the same time. My husband finally called me this morning. He had been gone the whole day and night before. He was hungover. We pretty much agreed we need a time out and he needed to focus on himself. I am scared he will make wrong choices and go off his meds. I know I cant do it for him but I feel so helpless and sad. Iwill continue to pray for him and me. Sould I not comunicate with him by phone and wait for him to call me?He said he would talk to me on the phone if I wouldnt arque or press him. Its hard to just say Hi,have a good day in this situation!!! Maybe the best thing is to wait for him to make the calls.

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Old 11-01-2006, 06:17 PM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 9
tbltennis1 HB User
Re: big decison

I know I won't be of much help at this point, But I will say a prayer for you and him. I would say I will be thinking about you, but I have enough to think about so I will give it to the man upstairs. (paused for prayer)I will keep a look out for more of your posts as to how things are going. Thanks again for the imput on mine.


Old 11-01-2006, 07:49 PM   #3
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 5,805
goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: big decison

BIG ((((HUGS))), McDreamy I know that this was not an easy decision.....I say that you should give him space and time to figure things out...he obviously is not in a good place and most likely cannot be reasoned with.

Do you know where he is staying???? Is he with his sponsor???

The thing is....he is responsible for his health and well being and has to come to the realization that if he wants to do the right thing for you and your marriage it would be to do his best to be stabelized so that he can offer his best to you. To do any less than that is not honoring his vows as your husband. He must learn to own up to his responsibility to himeself and to you to keep himself well. He has his doctor's number and will have to reach out for the help that he needs. I would really take this time to let go and focus upon recharging yourself and releasing yourself from the responsibility of taking care of him.....he needs to learn to do that himself and you need to do the same.

I, too, will say a few prayers for you that you will find some peace and learn to use this time to refocus on YOU....the rest is really up to him.

((HUGS)) ~ Goody

Old 11-03-2006, 07:07 AM   #4
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: indiana
Posts: 43
mcdreamy HB User
Re: big decison

Thank you , I am trying to focus on me but it is sooo hard! I have never been on my own and I miss him. He is staying at a house that his aunt owns. He is staying alone but seeing his sponsor daily. I spoke to him this morning and he sounds ok. I hope he can find a better way for himself. He says he doesnt know what he wants and he loves me but he is not in love with me, That hurt alot and I cried. Sadly after while I think I may feel the same about him. We have been in such turmoil for so long I havnt thought about what I want. You are right I need yo focus on me and I am trying. Again thank you for your kind words, how are you doing?

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