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crazywoman77 11-06-2006 01:40 AM

everything falling apart
i am so glad that hubby is back at work today have been dying to post here since friday as always probably just a whinge but i need to get it off my chest. Friday you see was going great was finally a good day for me have been very up and down these last few weeks since coming out of hospital, so was finally feeling good and positive. Then out of nowhere whilst chatting he suddenly goes off on one saying how he never wanted to be married to a mental case and he was wanting a divorce and saying really hurtfull things the worst being that he would rather have my kids in care than with me saying i was an unfit mother and all!!!!! Untill this point i was doing well with drinking again but that was it sod it back to the vodka grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr so not only am i mad and upset at hubby for this i also feel like a complete failure on the drinking again. The worst thing is that saturday he acted as if it had never happend and when i said about it he was all like well i needed to say somethings!!!!!! What is going on???? I thought it was meant to be me that was ill, but these were really sick things to be saying and expect everything to be ok the following day arent they???? I am so confused do you think he could be ill too or is it just he has changed since coming back from Iraq I understand that was hard for him and more so with him being brought back 3 weeks early because of me being the way I am and trying to o/d arghhhhhhhhhhhhh life is just too much hassel at the min and i cant stop analysing evertything sorry

ok2day 11-06-2006 01:51 AM

Re: everything falling apart
Hi sorry to hear things are not going well for you at the moment. It is very hard for our husbands at times, maybe he really needed just to vent things. When we are unwell we say things we don't mean so forgive him. It is so hard for husbands to talk to anyone because most people don't know what they are going through,the thing is we get there support but who supports them? Don't worry to much just take one day at a time. I hope you have a better week this week kind regards ok2day

crazywoman77 11-07-2006 05:52 AM

Re: everything falling apart
just thought I would say thank you ok2day for your pointing things out to me can be hard sometimes to stand back and look at things from someone elses perspective but after reading your reply yesterday I have been able to calm down a little now and see things from his point of view so as i said just thought I would thank you for it. all the best x

goody2shuz 11-07-2006 08:00 AM

Re: everything falling apart
Hi:wave: I know that those things your hubby said were quite hurtful and shouldn't have been said.....but I do agree that often things are said in the heat of the moment that are just not true. I know that I have said things in the heat of the moment that I wish I could have taken back.....the best we can do is apologize and try to do better.

I know that you are trying to do your best to get better and that is what you should continue to do. And that will be the best comfort you can offer your husband at this time having just recently returned from Iraq....that his wife is getting better. He must worry about you and your future and taking care of yourself is important to relieving his fears of how things will go in your future. So lay off the vodka and do what you are suppose to do to get yourself feeling better. When you are doing that you are showing your hubby that things will get better.

To ease your mind.....once my hubby said something in the heat of the moment that really hurt but I have learned as he did that we all make mistakes and say and do things that we regret. Just as you regret having drank that vodka, so must your hubby reget having said what he did. Forgive him and forgive yourself and try to move on to making things better.

((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

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