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    Old 01-08-2007, 12:28 PM   #1
    x-Bliss-x's Avatar
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    x-Bliss-x HB User
    Question Hallucination? Soz bit long...

    Hi everyone,
    Been a while since I last posted. Not much to say really, still up and down. Hope your all ok.

    I've had my meds increased again so now i'm on, 30mg Citalopram and 500mg Depaokte which is still not a full dose yet.
    Unfortunately I still havn't made it back to work as I'm finding very difficult to cope with going out at the moment. I get very nervous and paranoid when leaving the house but can manage a short trip out when with someone...BUT...I have a question. Probably only for those who have experienced hallucinations before.

    I went out with my mum for a shopping trip to try and cheer myself up, all was....ok....and when I had had enough I just told my mum and we got on the bus to come home. But as usual I did get quite panicky but then I had what I THINK was a hallucination. Having never had one before I don't know whether it was or not. I've had pretty horrible thoughts before (I was keeping my dogs attention on me whilst my mum was brushing her and suddenly saw my mum strangeling her) but this was in my head, I didn't physically 'see' her doing this. This time though as the bus was going round a corner I turned just in time to see a man in white walk right out in front of the bus, it happened so quickly that I didn't even react to it all I saw was blood up the front of the bus window...but there was no jolt. We didn't hit anything...and somehow I knew it hadn't been real instantly because I didn't scream or anything. Mind you it did put the shits up me for the rest of the bus ride and I couldn't wait to get inside.

    So my question is...was this a hallucination or just another horrible thought that just appeared at the 'right' time. Or are they both types of hallucination. I havn't told anyone else about them because I'm not sure how they'll react, expecially as I'm not sure what they are.


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    Old 01-09-2007, 10:06 AM   #2
    leomia's Avatar
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Location: London, England
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    Re: Hallucination? Soz bit long...

    hey there

    I haven't had hallucinaciations but there have been times I have had very vivid I guess daydreams where something horrible happens. I am sure if the bus had hit the man they would have stopped and everyone would have noticed. Maybe by the meds you are on or your specific condition you are more prone to thinking of things like that?

    I would talk to a doc about this and dont be embarassed because if you cant say what really is going on they cant treat you.

    If you can maybe talk to your mom. say you know she would not hurt the dog but you had some kind of illustion that she did? maybe she will be able to help you and understand, she is your mom. and do you have a good relationship where you think you can trust her with that? I know its scary but sometimes you have to take some risks to get the right kind of help and that does not mean you are crazy sometimes meds make you see things, you never know.
    well good luck and try to find person to get you the therapy. We are all hear to help!


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