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Why can't I achieve anything?

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Old 04-14-2007, 02:02 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Indiana
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michele1975 HB User
Why can't I achieve anything?

Is it normal to give up things so quickly? In the past couple months I started dieting and exercising only to quit after about a month, I've decided to let my hair grow out but I'm thinking about getting it cut, and the biggest failure of all I tried to quit smoking 5 days ago and gave in and started smoking again. It makes me so mad!!! Why can't I just stick things out??

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Old 04-14-2007, 02:29 PM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Dover Tennessee
Posts: 605
emeraldeyes114 HB User
Re: Why can't I achieve anything?

I think that perhaps you are looking at things in the wrong light and being a bit hard on yourself. I wanted long hair got bored with it and cut it. I would not deem it a failure just a change of heart. With diet and exercise I need to start one and did last summer it went well for a while but I got bored with it and quit. So for me boredom is like the biggest quit motivator. I don't think you are a failure at all just because these things are not going the way you had intended them to at first. I smoke as well and I tried several times to quit and didn't do well with it. If you want to quit then keep trying and don't give up. Don't be so hard on yourself if it is something important to you then like I said don't give up. You are so not a failure. I mean I have been trying to learn a foreign language (the same one) for almost ten years still can barely say hello on it. But I haven't given up yet totally stubborn and persistent.


Old 04-14-2007, 03:17 PM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: london uk
Posts: 337
jgr01 HB User
Re: Why can't I achieve anything?

Hi Michele,

this is part of the condition - we're a bit butterfly like with everything; jobs, relationships, exercise, whatever, especially if the meds aren't right. We're impulsive and obsessive and self critical.

Try doing one thing and one thing only. I bet you took on a real harsh diet as opposed to just using a smaller plate and only filling it once. I bet you started a gym program that was 4/5 days a week doing something you weren't even sure you enjoyed? Exercise is really difficult to get going especially if you have to travel and haven't done it for a while. Start slowly with simple walking. Getting up half hour earlier for 20 min walk and 5 min stomach and press ups 3 times a week would be fab.

Smoking. I'm another smoker. i have given up so many times. The longest in the last 23 yrs (I'm 35) for 8.5months when i was pregnant.

You are female and i assume you are BP. You (sadly) have 2 things against you;

females generally beat themselves up more and think they're less able than men
BP if you cycle monthly with hypomania you will find that you take up new projects and drop them.

Just try doing one or two, and really force yourself - if you can't do 20 mins, do 10. Habits take a while to form.


Old 04-14-2007, 05:13 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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michele1975 HB User
Re: Why can't I achieve anything?

Yes, I'm a female and bipolar. I just wish I could stick to something for once. I am going to continue to try to quit smoking. I know it will be hard and I just need to get more willpower. Thanks for the replies

Old 04-15-2007, 05:39 AM   #5
Join Date: Jun 2006
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gav_73 HB User
Re: Why can't I achieve anything?

Hi Michelle,

Eme and Juliet are both right on the money. Don't beat yourself up about it. If so, the only thing you will accomplish is convincing yourself that you're some kind of loser, or that you'll never be able to do it. Try and try again, as they say; practice, practice, practice, WIN!

Not to mention, you have chosen to tackle three of the toughest things people all over the world face today - weight loss, more exercise, and stopping smoking. These are the three things that everyone wishes they could do. If they were easy, it wouldn't even be an issue or a problem.

It just so happens that I'm battling the same exact things you are - which should be no surprise considering just about everyone is. But finally, I'm getting it done. After 17 years of chain smoking since I was 15 years old, I HAD to quit. I felt TERRIBLE. I couldn't get anything done. I was huffing and puffing if I walked up two flights of stairs; had NO energy at all; had a chronic cough, etc. Not to mention that my 40 year old uncle dropped dead of lung cancer within a year of being diagnosed. I tried EVERYTHING and nothing worked. Finally, with the urging and support of my husband, I quit smoking with nicotine gum. It was the only thing that worked. It's been almost a year and I still chew the hell out of it. I also have a friend who chews the gum like a mad woman, and she quit smoking 17 years ago! LOL For me, I had to quit drinking coffee and alcohol, get rid of all the triggers. So far, so good. Maybe you could try that.

At the same time, I had gained nearly 35 lbs in less than two years - depression, lack of exercise, chain smoking. When I quit smoking, I was so fearful that I would try to "get my fix" from eating that I went on a diet. I've never had to diet before or exercise because I waited tables for 10 years. Therefore, I would get all the exercise I needed at work. When I quit doing that, I blew up, and FAST! I tried eating better, but with my hectic lifestyle, couldn't. I finally got on Jenny Craig, and so far, without any exercise whatsoever, I've lost 20 lbs. It's taken a few months, but it's working and I'm losing. It's very convenient and anyone can do it.

Now, it's exercise, which I still can't motivate myself to do. I know I need to, but I totally hate it and can't get enthusiastic about it AT ALL! However, the more weight I lose from dieting, the more motivated I become, probably because I've already seen some progress and getting the results I want doesn't seem so daunting now that I've lost some weight.

I guess it is a step-by-step process, and it's a process with a lot of trial and error. If you're anything like me, if it's not easy and results aren't immediate, you get totally frustrated and quit. I'm SUPER impatient and want things like I want them, NOW! These are the two things that were the easiest and gave me the quickest results. And I have to say, I honestly don't think about cigarettes that much at all anymore, and I feel like I was born with a cigarette in my mouth! But the good thing about it is that other good and healthy habits follow - like I quit drinking alcohol when I quit smoking. Not really on purpose, but because if I can't smoke when I drink, it's like, what's the point, you know? I simply don't enjoy it. Plus, I know that if I got drunk, I'd smoke. So it's sort of another positive that's come from quitting. And what's even more amazing is that my husband still smokes and I can be around it and it doesn't bother me that much. However, he quit smoking during that first, very difficult three months. After that, he started sneaking behind my back. The thing about quitting smoking, though, for me, was that I really HAD to quit. It was not an option anymore. Also, I chose a special day to quit, our first anniversary. For some reason knowing the day that I had my last cigarette helped me resist smoking another one when I wanted one. It was just one little extra silly thing that motivated me. Maybe you could try something like that. Like I told myself that, if I have this cigarette, I won't be able to truly say that that day was the last time I had one. Silly, I know, but it helped.

GOOD LUCK, and don't give up! You can do it no matter how many times you start and start over. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again!

Last edited by gav_73; 04-15-2007 at 05:41 AM.

Old 04-15-2007, 06:17 AM   #6
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michele1975 HB User
Re: Why can't I achieve anything?

Thank you gav. I tried to smoke this morning and couldn't finish the cigarette because it didn't taste good so I've decided to keep trying and started using the patch again.

Congratulations on your weight loss that is great! Hopefully I can get back to dieting soon. One thing at a time.

Old 04-15-2007, 04:28 PM   #7
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tennessee USA
Posts: 230
greenidme HB User
Re: Why can't I achieve anything?

I try to consider the whole picture when I feel an impulse coming on...
I, too, want to grow my hair and often think impulsively about cutting it!
I remind myself quickly that the reason I want it long is so I can pull it up on bad hair days... that's all it takes for me to keep from cutting it. Other impulsive things like stopping a project, well, I still do that but try to remind myself that I didn't start it to stop in the middle! It takes practice but it does work for me. Also, when I think I MUST go shopping, I go to the Goodwill store or a thrift store. I get a lot and spend a little.
Hang in there and stop beating yourself up- even "normal" people do things impulsively!

Old 04-15-2007, 04:51 PM   #8
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: gambier,ohioUSA
Posts: 617
teresa2007 HB User
Re: Why can't I achieve anything?

Hey michele,
I know what your feeling, i have been trying to diet forever or it seems like it. Today, i blew it and i have to start all over again ahhhh!!!!! Maybe your just overwhelmed and your trying to much at once. Why dont you try one of them and if you succeed at that then start on the next one.
Dont get discouraged Rome wasnt built in a day and dont be so hard on yourself just wanting to do those things is something to admire. Hang in there and ill be rooting for you!!! Big hugs Tee

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