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  • Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

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    Old 09-09-2007, 05:17 PM   #31
    Paige1989
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    I'll try that. It's just hard to go into social environments when all you really want to do is be alone...I will try to keep a journal in my room, though, to try to convey my thoughts on paper and see if that helps...it should, but I can always try to come up with something else if that doesn't work. Going outside, though, is a definite idea...I don't like sports or anything, but I do enjoy nature. And texting friends is different from being in a social environment (don't ask why; I don't know...) so that's another option...Right now I'm pretty calm, almost serene. I've finished my weekend homework and am helping Mom with one of her college essays so I'm feeling pretty confidant. English has always been a strong-point for me, so it helps to get me into my element. Well, I'll see if the journal idea works, and we shall see with the coming week...hopefully once I get into my groove, school will even out a bit.

    And listening to music might help, too...For some reason, listening to really sad songs when I'm upset helps...it should hinder, if I look at it logically, but it helps. I get exceedingly annoyed with upbeat happy songs because it is far from what I'm feeling at the time...

    ~~Paige
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    Last edited by Paige1989; 09-09-2007 at 05:19 PM.

     
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    Old 09-09-2007, 05:30 PM   #32
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Glad that you checked in with us Paige...I was just peeking in to see how you were doing.

    I am happy to see that you are more leveled off and in your element helping your mom with her essay...I am sure that she appreciates the help.

    Hey, I saw a really GREAT movie yesterday on TV called Akeelah and the Spelling Bee. What a wonderful inspirational movie that was. I think that if you are looking for something that isn't too heavy but just really uplifting this would be the movie to see. I believe they have it on DVD but it is also on the premium channels like Showtime if you get that. I just thought it would be worth mentioning.

    Well our weekend was rather uneventful and quiet....Erin begins her second week of school and seems to really like the teachers and classes. Thank goodness!!!

    Well you hang in there Paige and know that there is always somebody here checking in if you need to talk.

    Love and happy thoughts sent your way ~ Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 09-09-2007 at 05:32 PM.

     
    Old 09-09-2007, 09:04 PM   #33
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Paige-

    I love the idea of the journal! I'm wondering if you could take it a step forward. You said you love nature so maybe you could create a project for yourself, looking for things in nature that reflect how you are feeling at the moment and then include that in your journal.

    Again, I'm brainstorming, but you are incredibly self-aware and I'm wondering if you could channel some of that into a project which reflects all that you are learning about yourself. Like many people with exceptional gifts, Paige, your self-awareness is a blessing and a curse. You see so much and know so much, but sometimes when you are not feeling stable, it's almost too much for you.

    My nature project might be completely off-base, but I think there is something out there which you might enjoy to fuse all of your interests and give you a constructive way to deal with your moods, both good and bad.

    I'll keep thinking, but in my mind's eye I can see you out among the fall leaves, finding treasures and journalling about how they relate to you. Something to think about, sweet Paige.

    Love,

    Hope

     
    Old 09-11-2007, 02:31 PM   #34
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Goody -
    I'll check out that movie...it was in our Movie Rental for a Day thing at Safeway a while back, but I can get it at Blockbuster still. We don't get the premium channels. And it's good that Erin's doing well.

    Hope -
    Funny you mention the nature thing...I'm taking Environmental Explorations and today he said that we're going to be keeping a nature journal! He's given topics to write about each week, but it's the same idea. So that makes one nature journal and one philosophy journal. And I'll probably try to keep one just for me. I don't want to get too personal with the ones my teachers will be grading.
    How's Zac holding up?

    For now, I'm fine. Back to semi-stability. I've figured out that if I wait for about a minute or two before leaving classes, I avoid the mad rush and thus don't have to deal with my claustrophobic tendencies, because crowds and noise waaaaay overstimulate me. Even in a classroom setting, if it gets too loud, I end up having to sit outside the classroom for a bit to recollect myself...Aside from that, I'm buried with homework, but I don't think it's something I can't handle. I enjoy the subjects (with the exception of government) so it's not so much 'work' as it is just broadening my horizon. ^_^

    ~~Paige
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    Old 09-12-2007, 04:39 PM   #35
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Paige-

    Thanks for asking about Zac. He had a rough few days because he was trying to catch up on summer work for AP Lang Arts that he didn't finish. He lost alot of time the weeks he was so unstable that we thought he'd have to be hospitalized and the school was good about letting him catch up, but he was stressed, although he kept his wits about him. In short, from Sunday of Labor Day Weekend through Thursday night of the first week of school, he got a total of 10 hours of sleep. Needless to say, he was a little zombified! (is that a word?)

    He's starting to get in the groove now. His AP Lang Arts teacher is very tough, but very good and told him today that he is an extremely talented writer and she will use him as an example of superior writing, so he's VERY happy! And he's been working with his AP Music teacher on some of the music compositions he has done and she is planning to have them performed.

    I'm hoping that it will continue but, for now, he is much better! From what I hear, many BPers go through a phase where they question their diagnosis and that's what happened to Zac. He started taking his meds sporadically and I think even he was surprised to see how quickly he spiraled downwards.

    Thanks for always asking about him. I'm hoping that you, he, Erin, Drew and all of our other students have a great year!

    Love,

    Hope

     
    Old 09-12-2007, 06:17 PM   #36
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    That's good that he's settling into a groove. It usually takes me a few days or a week or so before I can get settled with a new schedule and routine and all.

    Over all, I think I'm doing well...Last night I just barely got my AP Lit. homework done because I had to restart my original essay because I hit a deadend...and by the time I'd finished the one I handed in, it was too late for me to start my psych. homework. So I did that this morning and the reading was fine - I got that done in no time, but by the time I started on the questions, the cafeteria (where I was working 'cause that's the first room to open in the mornings) was getting noisy and I couldn't concentrate and all but gave up and anxiety bloomed. I finally got it done by working through Philosophy (I can multitask if I really have to, as long as it's not really noisy [too many people talking at once, for instance]), but it wasn't the best work - at least I had something to turn in, though.

    By the time my anxiety subsided, it was around eleven a.m. and the rest of the day went relatively smoothly, except when I was in the halls...I was more anxious because of the day's anxiety before. But this time, I will make sure to start my homework sooner or do my psych. homework before my Lit. homework...

    Good news is my sleep schedule is still in-tact and, for the most part, I'm on top of things. And I have a pdoc appt. in less than a month (Oct. 7) so hopefully semi-stable will transition to better stability. Tomorrow I have a tdoc appt. and that's when she wants to draw up the contract, so I'll definitely have something to report there, for better or worse, depending on what I think of the contract...

    Hope Zac, Erin, and Drew are still doing well. And if Steamroll's still reading the board, I hope she's doing well also. ^_^

    ~~Paige
    __________________
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    Old 09-12-2007, 06:55 PM   #37
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Hi Paige ~

    It sounds like you have things pretty well under control, including yourself. Glad to hear you're off to a good start. Senior year can be stressful for anyone, but it should also be fun. I think you're going to have a great year!!

    Thanks for giving us updates. We all like to know how you're doing.

    (((((HUGS)))))

    Tsohl

     
    Old 09-12-2007, 07:45 PM   #38
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Paige-

    You sound wonderful! Keep up the good work. We love to hear the updates!

    Love,

    Hope

     
    Old 09-16-2007, 08:23 AM   #39
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Eh, the tdoc appt. didn't really go anywhere...I'm still against the contract thing but she didn't have it typed up to sign and all that so that will wait until next week...And Friday, my stress levels were up and my energy levels were down so Mom let me stay home since going to school would've gotten me nowhere except at least one anxiety attack. Now I just have to play catch-up today so I'm caught up for tomorrow.

    The other day, Mom found a theatre that is still playing HP5 IMAX, and we were going to go last night, but when we got there (after getting lost and turned around a few times), it had already started and apparently in an IMAX movie, you can't go in after it has started so they wouldn't let us buy tickets. >.> That didn't help my mood. At all. My immediate thought was to go for the blade, but we were an hour from home and I had a friend with me, not to mention my family...but I still wasn't doing any better on the way home. Glen wanted to see a movie even though we missed the IMAX because he wanted to do something so we ended up seeing The Nanny Diaries at Regal Cinemas. GREAT movie. So that helped me calm down considerably. So by the time I got home, my self-harm thoughts were pretty much forgotten.

    On Friday night, Glen went to this "Midnight Madness" thing they have at one of the schools here every Friday. It was a special party night or something so Glen had to take money and all...but apparently, when he went to get in, a police officer saw a Pellet Gun handle peeking out from his pocket - he had brought his new pellet gun onto school grounds!!!!! AND it was considered concealed. AND he was apparently not allowed to be there (11-17 year olds only) but he hadn't told us any of that, of course. So Mom had to go and pick him up and bail him out. His pellet gun is now locked up in her gun safe. So until the Wednesday after this coming Wednesday, we don't know what's going to happen...could be suspension or even expulsion... :S So Mom's stress levels are up and we kind of feed off of each other's moods so I'm stressed as well. Still can't believe how stupid his actions were considering he KNOWS that kind of thing is illegal on school grounds and Mom had told him just the night before that the pellet gun was not to leave our property...both of which he claims to have forgotten. >.<

    Never a dull moment...

    How's everyone else doing?

    ~~Paige
    __________________
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    I'm not crazy ~ I'm mentally interesting!

     
    Old 09-16-2007, 08:32 PM   #40
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Hi Paige, Thanks for checking in. I'm glad you were able to get over the HP disappointment without resorting to cutting. It sounds like it helped being with people and finding something else to do when the movie didn't work out.

    It does sound like things may be a little stressful around your home for a little while. Hopefully you will be able to get away a little or at least have some time to destress. Take care of yourself. Glen will have to deal with the consequences for what he did. Since he is so young, maybe they will be more leniant with him. In any event, you have no control over what will happen. Keep us posted.

    Drew is doing OK. Not as good as the summer, but much better than last year. We did talk about it and decided that I would call his new Guidance Couselor last week just to give her a little information about Drew and to see if she had any suggestions for the focusing problem he is having. We had such a good experience with his couselor last year. She was very caring, kept an eye on him at school, and was a great resource for us in finding his current tdoc. She allowed him to come to her office when he was unable to stay in class. The new couselor is the exact opposite. She seemed totally uninterested and uncaring. She basically told me that she would not be able to do anything for him unless he was failing. Coincidently, she met with Drew's class the same day I called her. When Drew came home from school that day he told me not to bother calling her because she was "horrid". I have to say I agree with him.

    I hope you had a good day today and were able to get caught up with your school work.

    Lor

     
    Old 09-16-2007, 09:14 PM   #41
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Yes I agree with Lor, Paige about how great it was that you could fend off the urge to cut and settle for a different movie!! Hopefully you will be able to catch HP another day before it leaves the IMAX theatre.

    As far as Glenn you must not allow this to affect your stability....I know that you are the big sister who worries about everybody else but you need to worry about YOU so that you don't go spiraling down. Everything will work out with Glenn as well as you mom. Just try to focus on YOU and keeping all of this in perspective so that it doesn't affect your schoolwork or emotional well being. That is soo important.

    Lor ~ I am sorry that Drew's counselor this year is of little support. Sounds like Drew has things pegged out well!! He sounds like he is going to have a good year....we will keep our fingers crossed.

    As far as us things are going well. Erin is doing well....she has some problems with displacing her frustrations on her BF but that is something that she will learn to handle more with time. The important thing is that she is realizing it and that makes such a difference. And Kait....she is still titrating up on the Lamictal...she told me tonight that she doesn't have the energy to go out as much as she did last year and goes to bed by 12mn which is so much better than the 3am-4am that we saw happening over the summer. She doesn't realize that the Lamictal may be actually kicking in!!! But I do!!! She goes up to 100mgs on Thursday and I think that after a week on that she will be able to see the difference for herself or at least I hope so!!

    So that is what's going on here.

    I will be thinking about you Paige hoping that your 3rd week of school goes well for you.

    Love ~ Goody

     
    Old 09-17-2007, 04:58 PM   #42
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    I'm trying not to let the whole thing with Glen get to me, but that's the big topic of discussion at home right now. BUT, my Teacher Cadet class is having the Security officer come in to talk about her job in the schools and I'm thinking about, and Mom's encouraging it, asking her what could happen...sort of hypothetical and if she asks who, I'll just say I know someone...don't want to put Glen in the spotlight, but it'd ease my mind, and Mom's, if we knew a little more about what we're facing...

    As for getting caught up, that didn't work very well. I got my psych reading done, but haven't done the questions and I haven't started my Lit. or Spanish homework yet...but I'll do that this evening after Alateen. And, because it's grown obvious that the 100mg. Seroquel wasn't working as well as it was, I increased it to 150mg. last night and I think that'll help, too...AND it didn't make me dizzy/lightheaded or too exhausted to get through the day. So that was a major plus. ^_^ Today went well...Mom bombed the house because of bugs and whatnot so we couldn't come back in until about six, which is why I haven't started on my homework and we leave for Alateen in about five minutes....My stress level is lower today than it has been, so that's starting to even out at least.

    Lor, I'm sorry about Drew's guidance counselor. Glad he's handling the situation well, though. Good luck to him with this school year; it looks like he's off to a great start.

    Goody, I'm glad Erin and Kait are doing well for the most part. Things look like they're going to get better for you and your family every day.

    ~~Paige
    __________________
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    Old 09-18-2007, 03:18 PM   #43
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Paige,

    It sounds like you are handling things as well as possible. Glad to hear that the Seroquel is working. It's helping Zac, too.

    Today is a milestone for us and I'm thrilled to say that Zac is in a better place again. Today is the 1 year anniversary of the last day he was in school full-time last year. Today, last year, is the day the nurse called to tell me he was deterioring quickly and we knew we had to get more aggressive in getting him help. What I am particularly happy about (but, as always, hold my breath when I say this) is that he has been in a great place AND is handling a full load of coursework. It doesn't mean that he won't have his issues this year but, at least for today, he is thriving and I am so thankful.

    This week will be bittersweet as we remember all of the horrors of last year, but it will be cushioned by his smiling face.

    I wish only good things for you, sweet Paige. Your wisdom and insight has been a lifesaver this year as you give all of us Moms a chance to see how a high schooler navigates the unchartered waters of bipolar. Keep up the good work!

    Love,

    Hope

     
    Old 09-19-2007, 03:13 PM   #44
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Congratulations on your year anniversary! I'm glad Zac is doing so well.

    Yesterday, I didn't go to school - I was stressed and not feeling well so I figured going to school would only make things worse and probably lead to some sort of episode, be it depression or anxiety. But that means I've missed two "A" days in a row, and those are the days I have my APs on. >.> I'm trying to keep up with the homework via talking to people who are in my classes...it's working so far, but my procrastination is an ever-lasting problem. :S Today went pretty well, though. No huge incidents to report.

    Teacher Cadet today had the Security Officer speaker and she, unfortunately, couldn't give a pinpoint on how severe Glen's punishment could be. Funny, I asked it and she was like "I know the case you're talking about." I didn't expect her to since it wasn't in her area...but whatever. Glen seems to be handling his grounding better now. Part of it was that he had to clean his room and he did yesterday and did a great job considering what it had looked like. Mark came by to see it (that was another part of the deal) and chose to pick apart every single detail Glen had missed rather than praising him for what he had accomplished. Mom and I ended up going to Wal*Mart to escape his (Mark's) griping. <.<

    And, for once, I used Raider Rally to actually get homework done. XD Usually, I just talk or read the whole time. So now I only have to really concentrate on my essay for English, which is half-way done, and my psychology...and I have to find my Spanish stuff. :S But my stress levels are down and over all, I've been in a good mood. The lack of intense anxiety is really relieving considering how I usually am. And I have come to the conclusion that my Environmental Explorations teacher is there solely to tell us the most random facts. :S It's really odd, but I'm not knocking it. Also, I found out that my Gov't teacher's mother is on Lamictal for seizures...it shouldn't have surprised me as I know it's an anticonvulsant, but it did anyway. XD

    Interims are only a week and a half away, which is weird to think about. :S It seems like we've JUST started school and interims are the only worry weighing me down right now. I'm on top of college essays (or at least one of them), but I need to keep my grades up and my first impression wasn't the greatest - my trademark disorganisation and forgetfulness shown through, but I'm starting to get organised for the first time ever. ^_^

    Only real hiccup in the day was Cortni lost her cellphone. :S She had it in gym in her locker but when she opened the locker to change, her phone fell and she forgot to pick it up...when she went back, it was gone. Probably stolen, hopefully in Lost and Found...So we'll see how long that takes to be resolved.

    Hope all is well for everyone else,
    ~~Paige
    __________________
    Bipolar Ultradian Cycler
    400mg. Lamictal
    600mg. Seroquel
    1mg. Klonopin
    0.5-1mg. Ativan
    I'm not crazy ~ I'm mentally interesting!

    Last edited by Paige1989; 09-19-2007 at 03:25 PM.

     
    Old 09-19-2007, 05:34 PM   #45
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Sounds like things are finally settling down for you, Paige. I am really impressed with your take on things and your approach to gaining more and more insight about what you are experiencing and moving closer and closer to gaining stability. Sounds like you are getting more done than Erin....Erin seems to be not coming home with much work and says that she is doing it in one of her classes, Vocal Wokshop, she is given study time after they do some ofthe music. She is into her third week and her Open House is next week where we will meet her teachers. Thankfully, two of them already are aware of her BP and I am thinking that we don't really have to alert the others quite yet since Erin seems to be doing well. I am still debating whether it will be in her best interest to let the teachers know and am thinking about it.

    As far as Glen goes, I hope that they will come up with something that will allow him to serve the community and at the same time allow him to see how his actions could affect his future. But meanwhile you need to not take on the worries of the world...Glen will survive as will Cortni .

    I hope that your interim report is a good one....I have no doubt that it will be.

    Love ~ Goody

     
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