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    Old 10-09-2007, 06:30 PM   #91
    Paige1989
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Yeah, I've evened out pretty much...no significant drop in mood (yet)...I'm finally feeling drowsy, not hyped up or just in general being awake even though I should've been exhausted...so starting to get back on even ground again. And you're right on - the retreat is what set me back. I have been battling to get back on top of things ever since, but I think I might be able to get back on top of things by the end of the week, or at least I hope so.

    As far as Homecoming, I'm going to the game with Andy (the Freshman I've been helping) and not sure if I'm developing feelings for him or not - find it really hard to trust guys in general because of past experiences. So I'm trying to work through that and I plan on going to the dance with friends and give him an open invitation to join us because half of the friends I'm going with are bringing boy/girlfriends anyway.

    Good news is I'm getting a new phone to replace the one that broke and it'll be a newer model. AND my iPod, which hasn't turned on for a while, is being taken care of by BestBuy through the 3yr. warrenty I got with it so they're fixing it free of charge. ^_^

    ~~Paige
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    Old 10-09-2007, 07:15 PM   #92
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Hi Paige,

    You sound better in your last post. That's great!

    You are always so sweet to ask about everyone else. Zac is MUCH better than last year and said he can finally feel his meds working, but lack of sleep continues to be an ongoing story. (I just posted to the Sleep thread) He is much more himself these days and a pleasure to be around. There was a time when I wondered if we'd ever see our real son again so we are just enjoying his good humor and his planning for the future again.

    He loves most of his classes, but hates the work, puts if off, and then scurries to get it all done, putting more stress on himself and impacting his sleep even more. It is a vicious cycle. I keep reminding him of Eyes' chain, but so far it hasn't sunk in.

    But, all things considered, he is great and I am savoring every minute.

    Thanks for always asking. Have fun at Homecoming!

    Love,

    Hope

     
    Old 10-09-2007, 07:48 PM   #93
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Hi Paige-
    Glad to hear you are feeling better. Senior year can be so stressful with tough classes and trying to do your best in them. Then there is ACTs and SATs and the pressure of getting into college. And really you should be having some fun too. I am happy to see you are going to homecoming - it was always such a fun time for my daughter. I will be anxious to hear about it. I do miss those times with Britt - she would be so excited. And it always rained on the night of the game. Have a great time - and get some good rest.
    Hugs to you-
    Patti

     
    Old 10-10-2007, 03:45 PM   #94
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    I'm glad Zac is doing well. Seems like we have the same ideals over homework!

    I had my tdoc appt. today and it went well for the most part, but towards the end she brought up Mark and that triggered the crash...it's not terrible, not compared to others, but it seems to be mounting. Saw Mom has cut again and asked her openly to make sure I wasn't making too many inferences so my anxiety has increased. Again. I have homework I need to do tonight to catch up, but I really can't seem to be too bothered with it, thus the cycle continues. I just don't feel up to it right now...and my tdoc is all pro-exercise right now and that's the last thing I want to do. I see it as a waste of time and energy and she sees it as a way to increase my focus and energy...and she wants me to see these doctors to do all kinds of bloodwork to see what's deficient in my body....like I didn't have enough to deal with to have all of this weighing down on me, too.

    Patti -
    I'll do my best to enjoy Homecoming. It's usually really cold on our gameday. And we haven't won a game in two years so not too hopeful of winning this one. :S

    ~~Paige
    __________________
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    Last edited by Paige1989; 10-10-2007 at 03:46 PM.

     
    Old 10-10-2007, 07:13 PM   #95
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Paige-

    I know you hate the thoughts of exercise, but it would be good for you. The Fall weather is coming - maybe you could start walking. What about your dog? Is he OK and could you and he go for a walk together?

    I think the bloodwork is a good idea, too. Always good to get a clean bill of health.

    I'm sorry to hear you Mom cut. I know that concerns you greatly, but do NOT even think about going that route again!

    And all of you teenagers I think are married to your computers! There are so many distractions these days - computers, IM, text messaging, cell phones - it's amazing ANY of you can think straight!

    Hoping for good weather for Homecoming,

    Hope

     
    Old 10-11-2007, 03:32 PM   #96
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    It's not exactly the idea of exercising so much as it's the idea of being told to after FINALLY stopping gym after tenth grade (it's not required for Juniors and Seniors). >.< And the fact that it's getting colder irks me, too, 'cause I prefer to stay indoors when it's cold...our dog that's not in quaranteen is older and has arthritis so I wouldn't be walking with her - don't want to stress her joints...and Houston gets out of Quaranteen on Dec. 15th. I'll see what I can do, but I don't like cold weather. >.< If she'd approached this idea in the spring, I would've been more willing....

    And my mood is continuing to crash...major anxiety/separation anxiety issues last night...I couldn't fall asleep and when I had, it was hard for me to get up in the morning. We went for the bloodwork before school, but the place was busy so we left and probably try again tomorrow...I'm failing two classes right now (Philosophy and AP Psych) and not really getting what I'd like in the other classes...I'm still struggling to get back on track with my studies but I have less than a month to get my grades up for the first marking period so they won't improve by much...The psych test I thought I missed on Tuesday turned out to be today and I was unprepared because I was planning on taking it tomorrow during FLEX (study hall) and I didn't remember much from what I did Monday night/Tuesday morning because I was so manic so I was running off of very little energy and little knowledge at the task at hand...I'd already fallen asleep in Philosophy (first block) and struggled to stay awake during AP Lit. and Spanish...by psych, I was just drained. And it doesn't help that my anxiety is still sky-high.

    Good news is my new phone came today. And yes, Hope, I'm married to my cell phone, too! My sister's worse, though...she got her new one today also (think I already said this, but her original one had been stolen) and it was only THREE days that she was without a cell phone and you would've thought it'd been months! She seriously acted like it was Christmas when the phones came in and is going nuts 'cause the initial charge has to be 2hrs....

    I'm going to try to get a jump start on my homework. Then that'll leave me time to watch Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?! AND it's almost the weekend so I can recharge with any luck.

    ~~Paige
    __________________
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    I'm not crazy ~ I'm mentally interesting!

    Last edited by Paige1989; 10-11-2007 at 03:42 PM.

     
    Old 10-11-2007, 08:34 PM   #97
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Hi Paige,

    I think your plan to recharge over the weekend is a good one. I know we look forward to our weekends and some downtime especially when things are a little rocky.

    Can you talk to your psych and philosophy teachers to see if they can let you make up some of the work? I know that is hard because it's hard just to keep up, but hopefully they will be understanding and let you do something to bring up your grade.

    Now about the exercise. I actually look forward to my son's practice nights especially if he is edgy or down. He always seems better when he gets home from his practice, tired but better. Can you come up with something physical that you would enjoy even if it is just for 20 minutes? Maybe you and your mom could do 20 or 30 minutes of dance or aerobics? Or you could get a yoga tape. You wouldn't even have to go outside. Well, just a thought.

    Lor

     
    Old 10-11-2007, 09:01 PM   #98
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Hi, Paige....just wanted to peek in and say a quick hello. Sounds like you are holding your own and even though things are dipping a bit you are still looking the BP in the face and not letting it win you over. Keep up the good work.

    Glad to hear that the cell phone is back in your hands...Erin uses hers as a major coping mechanism, I wish she didn't spend so much of her time on it but she is getting better at managing it.

    She has homecoming tomorrow as well the only thing is that she isn't talking about going to the homecoming dance which is tomorrow night. It seems that her BF lacks in school spirit and isn't that interested. At her HS it isn't a formal affair....most of the kids just go in casual attire to have a good time....so I expect her to possibly have a change of heart. Tonight we had a little upsetment....seems that her and her BF had a little argument and she hung up on him. She was crying and we talked....seems that she warned him that she would hang up if he didn't stop doing what he was doing and she followed up with it. When he didn't call back she was upset but he did call back but wasn't in a talkative mood. I could tell that something else was up and asked her if there was. She cried some more saying that she went into her memory box and looked at pictures of her ex BF, a dog we lost, pictures of loved ones we lost and shared how she still got sad about that especially her ex BF. Seems that her presen BF talks with her ex BF and that makes her awkward. She has tried joining in on conversations which upsets her BF and also walks away when she feels uncomfortable which upsets her BF as well. I suggested that she be open with her BF about the awkwardness of it all and together they come up with a way to handle it. In any case she was much better after we talked.

    That is important, Paige and I am glad that you were able to talk to your mom about your concerns regarding her recent cutting...I know that if you hadn't your anxiety would probably be even worse. How did your mom respond to you??? And did it alleviate any of your concerns as far as your feeling guilty about it???

    YOu are doing well, Paige....I know that you may think otherwise but under the circumstances you are handling things quite well. Keep on venting and taking one thing at a time and know that we are here.

    Love & (((HUGS))) ~ Goody (with some visiting guests)

     
    Old 10-12-2007, 02:22 PM   #99
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Lor -
    I have the same teacher for psych. and philosophy and I plan to ask him what I can do to compensate...None of my grades this quarter seem to be great, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to get them up a little for this quarter and then do much better next quarter to even it out a little...As for the exercise, I do like Yoga, but I tried it with a DVD (after a one-free-lesson thing for teens at our library), but it was harder trying to look at the screen and bend at the same time. :S I think I'll have to watch it a couple times and THEN try to follow through with it. Turns out Kim told Mom that she needed to exercise, too, so we might end up doing something together afterall.

    Goody -
    Yeah, I definitely like to have my cellphone on me, even if I can't call/text anyone. Security blanket of a sort!

    I hope Erin has a good time at Homecoming despite the recent turmoil. Sounds kind of like my sister when she was dating David #3....he was the third David she dated in a row (), but David #3 and David #2 were friends so it made it awkward for them as well...and at one point, David #3 had been dating one of Cortni's good friends and somehow Cortni would manage to make them 3-way on her cell phone and the two hated each other! Her life is so complicated sometimes. :S Andy asked me to the dance today, via a note...not sure how to answer at the moment. I don't want to say "no," but I'm not sure if I want to give it a definite "yes" either...I'm thinking along the lines of "this is a little too fast for me, but we could go to the dance as friends." It's so new and all...not sure I want to dive in headfirst.

    As for Mom cutting, she didn't really seem surprised to know that I knew...'cause she told me when she went into the hospital in February that she'd cut, but she's been pretty stable since....when I asked her about it, she just kind of answered...didn't look surprised, sound surprised, etc. I'm not sure if it alleviated guilt or not, actually. My stress has been high so it's hard for me to realise what is what anymore. >.<

    With any luck, I'll have a relatively low-key weekend to destress and figure out what's what...give myself tonight and half of tomorrow to relax and spend half of tomorrow and half of Sunday working on anything I can to compensate my grades in Psych and Philo.

    ~~Paige
    __________________
    Bipolar Ultradian Cycler
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    0.5-1mg. Ativan
    I'm not crazy ~ I'm mentally interesting!

     
    Old 10-12-2007, 08:40 PM   #100
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    !!!! Mom found out that Glen is only going to be on Probation for the next 12 months!!! No expulsion/suspension/etc. to contend with. We haven't found out all of the details (have to wait until Monday) as to what he can/can't do, but it's a step in the right direction and it eases Mom's mind quite a bit, which in turn destresses me to a point. This time the domino effect is in the right direction.

    Other than that, I went with Mom to walk a friend's dog (she's petsitting for the weekend) and just kind of relaxed most of the evening. Tomorrow I have to baby-sit in the morning then probably go with my sister and Mom to look at Homecoming dresses...so hopefully tomorrow won't be too stressful either.

    ~~Paige
    __________________
    Bipolar Ultradian Cycler
    400mg. Lamictal
    600mg. Seroquel
    1mg. Klonopin
    0.5-1mg. Ativan
    I'm not crazy ~ I'm mentally interesting!

     
    Old 10-12-2007, 09:48 PM   #101
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    That's wonderful news, Paige!!! What a relief it must be for both you and Mom!!!

    Good luck with looking for Homecoming dresses!! Did you tell Andy that you would be going with him?????

    I hope things continue to go well for you. Have a GREAT stress free weeekend!!

    Love ~ Goody

     
    Old 10-12-2007, 10:06 PM   #102
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Hey Paige,
    I'm just popping in to say hi and see how you are doing. It seems to me that you are handling the high stress level well. I give you major props for that.

    Just remember to remember the good times as well as the bad. It sounds like this weekend will be good so remember it. That way when you are thinking of all the stressful/bad things are happening/happened you can go "Oh yeah, last weekend was chill and good and there will be more like it." I find that I forget the good and only remember the bad and it def. does not work for me, so try to avoid doing that.

    I am doing much better, they changed my meds and I have had 2 good weeks of stability. I am getting so that I take the Ativan once every couple days instead of the twice a day that I was before. Things in my end are going well.

    Pick out a pretty Homecoming dress,
    Steamroll

    Last edited by steamrollhehe; 10-12-2007 at 10:31 PM.

     
    Old 10-12-2007, 10:41 PM   #103
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    Re: Best Wishes to Paige at the start of Senior Year

    Ugh, having trouble sleeping so I thought I'd get up for a bit 'cause all the books say not to lie awake in bed for a while...even though I know that the computer isn't the ideal place to go to if you need to sleep. :S

    Goody, yeah, I told Andy that I'd go with him as friends. I am definitely taking things as slowly as I can without stopping...but things'll work themselves out in time, I suppose.


    Steamroll, I have that problem, too (remembering the bad more than the good). I'm glad you're doing well and that your anxiety is down. I'm still fighting with mine, but I haven't been taking my Ativan as frequently either...not sure how much of that is bullheadedness and how much is actual coping skills though!

    ~~Paige
    __________________
    Bipolar Ultradian Cycler
    400mg. Lamictal
    600mg. Seroquel
    1mg. Klonopin
    0.5-1mg. Ativan
    I'm not crazy ~ I'm mentally interesting!

     
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