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Why does talking not help and what should a psychiatrist do?

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Old 09-04-2007, 04:42 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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unswortg HB User
Why does talking not help and what should a psychiatrist do?

In a previous thread I described a fairly recent diagnosis of Bi-Polar and its effects on me. In particular an incident of Mania with depression triggered by stopping medication and a susequent episode of over-reaction because of a situation between my wife and a work colleague which I felt (still feel) was inappropriate.

My wife left me - well I was highly abusive and violent in shoving her through the front door. Thankfully she has returned after a week away and for a few days we were comfortable together. We talked about the things that we would do help spot triggers in the future. Although these were never actually started - mistake I know.

In the last couple of days I have returned to the manic state. I am taking medication, I am trying to talk about how I feel. The problem is that whenever I start to tell her that I feel depressed, unwanted, I want her to show me affection and show how she loves me. I know its hard for her to show this because of the hurt I caused her. But this only leads me towards the anger and manic behaviour again. This is a vicious circle. I want to talk, I need to talk but when I do it simply makes matters worse for me. I don't want to be manic - I'm severely depressed at the moment. Struggling to even get out of bed every day. I have an appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow but she's been asking me to bring it forward. She called him yesterday and he tried calling me but I missed his call until too late. I know this shows she cares, but in my totally warped mind I'm now embarrassed by this. In a fit of sanity I've invited her along to tomorrows session - though I think she'll be surprised how little he really does other than talk to me and tell me that this is really just a symptom of bi-polar that may be helped by changing medication.

What expreience should I be expecting from the psychiatrist? Why does talking degenerate into a feeling of being unwanted when clearly that's not the case. Even now, I sit here before going to work. She's left for work already and I'm suffering anxiety.

Sorry for babbling on.. I guess this board is really strange because I read threads that are all similar to mine, yet I feel more content after venting. I have only this week confided in a few close friends about my condition. They are very supportive but I don't feel like burdening them with my daily / hourly problems. Yes things can change in minutes during this episode.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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Old 09-04-2007, 05:05 PM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Park Ridge Illinois USA
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mom2bpson HB User
Re: Why does talking not help and what should a psychiatrist do?

While my 19 year old son was in his manic state he could not understand or feel the caring that was going on by his parents and his brother and the few extended family we told when he was diagnosed this past summer. While he is still recovering and dealing with meds that make him lethargic and not so sharp mentally, he has finally come to understand that his mania prevented him from clearly seeing the compassion and listening that was 24/7 with all of us and is still there for him. During the mania he wanted to fix us, fix the family and get all of us and him into therapy. His pdoc was really there (as is yours) to get the meds right to correct the biological imbalance and then, and only then, does therapy come in if at all. Now my son is not interested so much anymore in the therapy since he says just talking to all of his family and not holding things in and back is the therapy he needed. So I would not expect much except med controlling with the pdoc (psychiatrist) right now....and understand that those around you really are trying to help and show how they care, it is just that you are not really getting it yet and it is beyond your control. Try to be receptive to your wife's comments and help and not accusatory, as hard as that may be. Good luck and keep talking and reaching out for help. it is there for you in many places....

Old 09-05-2007, 03:10 AM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Manchester, NH
Posts: 263
harmony06 HB User
Re: Why does talking not help and what should a psychiatrist do?

wow! not to long ago i felt the same exact way. believe it or not a change in my meds made a big difference. where i was feeling all alone and not loved by anyone, and being very agitated, i now feel loved and much calmer. i still have my energy and am not drugged to the point that i am tired. things are going alot better for me.

my point is talk to your pdoc. they are good at what they do and only want to help. at least that is my expereince.

good luck to you


Old 09-05-2007, 09:46 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Naples,FL
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twoeyez HB Usertwoeyez HB User
Re: Why does talking not help and what should a psychiatrist do?

unswortg :

Basically the talk thearpies work by helping one deal with stress. And to function socially and stay consistant with meds.
Three styles of talk thearpy :

1).Family-focused thearpy, learning to deal with family relationships.
Goals include improving communications and problem-solving. to provide for family intervention at the earlist signs of relapes.

2).Cognitive-behavioral therapy one on one. It helps change harmful thinking patterens of depression and mainia. It teaches one to recognize their early warning signs of relapse to either extream of the illness.

3).Interpersonal and social rhythm therapy addresses ways to deal with these issues. Like marriage problems,promoting a regular daily schedule of sleeping,waking,eating,etc. One of the most important Stabilizing patteren for overcoming bipolar symptoms is sticking to a postive regular schedule. Talking about how this can occur is the most important "talk" therapy one can acheive.

Carry On,

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