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Hi there new here

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Old 07-13-2008, 03:18 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ny
Posts: 73
patteecake HB User
Hi there new here

I was wondering if any one with Bi polar has found it hard to deal with their promicius behavior?

How do you deal without medication for aniexty? I can't take any meds since i had seizures caused by the meds.

I have been diagonosed with bi polar since 18. i'm now 25. I have been promicious since the age of 19. I have one child and i live at home for now. I haven't had sex in 2mths. I recently had an abnormal pap smear which freaked me out. i got tested for stds and passed them all. I know my polups might be back. The doctor said i might have hpv. recently i was in the hosptial for seizures from meds i was taking, i stopped them. I had been on meds for 2-3 mths. I was on meds for a yr in 02-03. I was hosptilized for a wk in 02. I am in counseling. I've been in counseling 3 times in my life. I've been in counseling for a few months. I love my counselor, she isn't like the other ones. We are working in progress to resolve my issues.

I am trying to let go of my sons father. I'm still in love with him. its been 5yrs and he moved away for 2yrs and came back. he has only seen his son 4 times in the past 10mths since he's been back. I have a hard time dealing with him being engaged and raising his girls, when he should be there for our son as well. He confuses me. b/c he always kisses me and tells me he wants to be with me, then goes back to her and i am not doing this no more, no matter how much it hurts. i can't stop thinking about him.

Its getting to overwhelming living at home, my sister moved back to live with us and her husband went off to the army, leaving us to raise her two children, since she is disabled, refuses to get a apt and home health aide.

I applied to mental health housing to get myself independant in an apt and take care of my son and i like i do at home. I don't drive. so i walk, use the bus or a cab. I can't drive since i've had seizures and i had an accident several yrs ago that made me scared to drive. i don't know if i ever will. I've been single for 5 yrs. Its been tough to be alone. I'm scared to trust men. Especially when my sons father decided to leave me pregnant and not help. I got court ordered child support. But he keeps losing jobs and he wont tell them he's working. I'm had it with taking him to court and i have full custody of my child. i recieve disabilty for both of us, so it works out for the payments he's not giving my son so i'm living very frugally on 300 a mth, b/c i pay my parents my ssi to live here.

I have trouble dating b/c they either want sex which i'm not techinally looking for, i could post ads if i wanted that. which i have done. but when i don't sleep with the men until we are serious, that never happens b/c after 4-5 dates they are gone b/c they were jerks. I have trouble with older men too. I like them, . I have no problem with age, although, my parents do. I am talking to a 46 yr old, i never met for the past 9mths. I want another child too and i've been getting baby fever. I joined a gym 2 mths ago, i go 2 times a week. I've gained 10lbs and i'm trying to lose the 10 i gained, i have 50lbs to lose. I already lost 63lbs. I was a 24 in pants, now i'm a 14/16.

So this is me, feel free to write to me, i would like to hear others life stories with bi polar as well

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Old 07-13-2008, 07:30 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Az,USA
Posts: 571
CarenR HB User
Re: Hi there new here

welcome to the board Patteecake................ you can learn and find comfort knowing others have suffered with this disease

Caren ... Bipolar 1

Old 07-13-2008, 05:14 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,915
seaturtle HB User
Re: Hi there new here

HI, pateecake,

Welcome here, I know you'll find support and help from the wonderful people on this board.

I've had problems in the past with promiscuity, yes, but not for a while now. Relationships: I used to have them almost exclusively with older men, too (many issues with an abusive father, and I think I was looking for a father, really). And yes, the men I had brief affairs with wanted the sex,and left, too.

I had a good relationship for 5 years, which ended because the other person turned out to be very, very troubled, and our illnesses just made it impossible. I know how it is to still love someone, too, but at the same time, know they are not good for you. The wy your ex is treating your son is a great big red flag, as I'm sure you know. And kissing you and telling you he wants to be with you is just cruel, I think, if he's returning to his new partner.

I hope you can work on these issues in therapy. I'm sorry about your living situation and financial situation. Do you think it's wise to have another child under the circumstances? Maybe think about waiting on that until you can support your kids?

Enough from me, just a few thoughts.
And again, welcome here.


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