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Unmarried, should I have a Power of Attorney?

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Old 08-17-2008, 02:28 AM   #1
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wideawakeinaz HB User
Unmarried, should I have a Power of Attorney?

I have been thinking about this and just wanted some thoughts about this, since some of you have been living with Bipolar far longer than I have been. I'm unmarried, both my parents are deceased and I have no siblings. I have a boyfriend, who I love, but we have no plans to get married, ever, we're happy as we are. My extended family all live about 2500 miles away from me.

My boyfriend's mom suggested, when we told his parents the news today, that I should consider having my boyfriend become my power of attorney for medical matters only and if I should end up in the hospital, financial matters. Her thought was, I have no family or husband, yet, if something should happen to me, reaction to medication, an episode, whatever, that I have someone who loves me, wanting the best for me.

I had never thought about this till she mentioned this to me. I mean, I don't want to end up in the hospital and then have to wait days till my aunts can show up, at the same time, I'm not sure if this is something that will be needed.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I know now that she knows, she knows why I would shop till I drop, despite having no money, everything went on credit cards and I would worry about how to pay the bills later, that she has suggested my boyfriend take away my credit cards. Now, to me, that's harsh, but again, I don't know. maybe he should. but i am also on medication, so that should help to curb my spending habits.

anyways, thank you all for listening and any thoughts you have on this subject would be appreciated.

P.S. So happy i found this board, feels wonderful knowing deep down, I'm not the only who's bipolar and going through this. Feels good knowing, I'm not alone in the world.

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Old 08-17-2008, 08:09 PM   #2
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seaturtle HB User
Re: Unmarried, should I have a Power of Attorney?

If you feel you may need someone to be responsible for making decisions for you when you are unable toyou can fill out your Advanced Directives. (and we all have that possibility of being physically or mentally so compromised that we aren't responsible for ourselves.)

Be careful about the wording and terms, making it clear under just what circumstances you want him to take over. I have a will and Advanced Directives. In the Advanced Directives, there is a section for having others make your decisions if you're unable, and you can name them. If you do this, I don't know if you'll need the Power of Attorney or not. And you don't need a lawyer for it, either. Perhaps you might want to look into this, and seek the advice of a lawyer.


Old 08-19-2008, 08:56 AM   #3
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Bunnylover HB User
Re: Unmarried, should I have a Power of Attorney?

If you're long term committed (which it sounds like you are) and if you trust him (which it sounds like you do), I'd do it. If you're incapacitated, someone else will be making decisions for you, and it should be someone you're close to who knows your wishes and will honor them.

Old 08-19-2008, 02:37 PM   #4
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lucylucy HB User
Re: Unmarried, should I have a Power of Attorney?

It's a really good idea for everyone to have someone with limited power of attorney who can take care of things when you cannot, and who can give permission for medical care if needed. An attorney (or book) can help you identify the options for a living will, limited power of attorney and things like that in your state.

Make sure he knows where your important papers are, and vice versa.

If either of you has a lot of assets, you should create an emergency joint account to take care of bills in case one of you is hospitalized for some period.

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