It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Bipolar Disorder Message Board

I miss the old me :(

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-19-2008, 01:23 PM   #1
Senior Member
Elf_Ears's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 112
Elf_Ears HB User
I miss the old me :(

I'm relatively new to this whole mood disorder business. All I know is that w/o a stabilizer, I'm a mess. But this wasn't always so...

Years ago, prior to the birth of my 5th child at age 35, I was a perpetually happy person. I was always hopeful. I was sunny, so much so that my parents, husband, and friends called me by sunshine-oriented nicknames. I miss that feeling of happiness. The last time I felt it was after going off lithium in Jan 2006. I thought I could do it. My pdoc said OK. We really didn't know what was wrong with me then. It took a couple weeks, and then I woke up feeling wonderful, like it was spring and school would soon be out. Like it was December 23 and I was 8. Everything was A-OK. Nothing fazed me. No biggie. Ahhh, how I loved it. And I knew it. This was no new feeling. This was a stronger version of the usual me. And I was fully aware of that. And then, after 9 days, something happened that upset me, and depressed me, and the happiness melted away, never to be felt again. At least to even 1/4 of that level. I'm even forgetting it now. And that makes me so sad.

So what I'm thinking is, "Was I abnormally happy most of my adult life?" And this more logical, stable state is "normal?" DH (an engineer )says he's noticed that I've been much more logical, open to new ideas, not reactive to others, but rather pro-active. He says I'm more honest, sharper, almost smarter in a way.

But I still miss the dumb happy me. I would've stayed thay had I not begun to slip into cyclic depressions after my son was born.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 08-20-2008, 04:21 AM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: England
Posts: 305
NutshellNutter HB User
Re: I miss the old me :(


who is to say that it is a more stable state which is 'normal'? For after all - what exactly is 'normal'? Does a 'normal' exist when we consider the breadth of society?

And who is to say that you old you was 'dumb'? What is dumb?

Maybe you are more aware of your mood state now and so therefore experience more changes in your own mood range....

You'll be your 'happy' once again - someday...

Nobody is 'normal' - imagine how boring that would be if the world majority was normal!


Old 08-20-2008, 07:09 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,915
seaturtle HB User
Re: I miss the old me :(


Me, too. We mourn our old selves. I am 61, and got hit by major psychiatric illnesses when I was l5. I still think back to the kid in high school who was "normal" and pretty happy, at least without the limitations and suffering mental illness. And I want to be her again.

It's hard. Don't give up hope that you'll find perhaps some meds that will restore your happiness.

A hug,


Old 08-21-2008, 01:58 PM   #4
Senior Member
Elf_Ears's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 112
Elf_Ears HB User
Re: I miss the old me :(

Thank you both. Such kind wise words. I needed that. I am encouraged.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
I miss myself madhen17 Addiction & Recovery 5 05-02-2010 03:47 PM
God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site. rayne081 Grief & Loss 8 08-07-2007 05:24 PM
Miss my mom so much..... sarah27 Grief & Loss 10 07-05-2007 09:01 PM
I miss me Heckofagal Thyroid Disorders 31 04-01-2007 09:39 AM
Is it normal to miss them even if it wasnt love? HarajukuGurl2005 Relationship Health 3 09-07-2006 12:57 AM
Is it weird that I miss... mops41288 Eating Disorder Recovery 1 07-04-2006 10:51 PM
Foods we miss.... KJHChemist Acid Reflux / GERD 26 06-04-2006 09:26 AM
Really miss my dad blossom1211 Death & Dying 19 01-11-2006 08:04 PM
Martha! I miss your Mom!! Twinlynn Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 7 06-29-2005 12:37 PM
What I miss the most... SpangledWinter Acne 15 07-22-2004 10:12 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:58 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!