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The hardest part for me.

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Old 08-25-2008, 09:16 PM   #1
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totallyclueless HB User
The hardest part for me.

The medicine I take keeps me a little up, which is better than a little depressed, however it causes problems just like being depressed would. For me, it's hypersexuality. I love my husband more than anything but I don't feel things just for him. I usually fixate on a random guy in my life and have feelings for him without reason and out of nowhere. I have never acted on them and never will but I have not told my husband. I feel like this would put a strain on our marriage that is unnecessary. These feelings I have are very intense and very uncomfortable. I do my best not to let them show but people usually suspect something different...usually people at work. I feel like I am cheating when I have these urges but I can't stop them. Whenever the doc puts me on a med to help, I don't want to have sex with my husband either, which is just as detrimental to our relationship. I guess I'm looking to see if someone here is in the same boat and what advice anyone has on ways to deal with this. Thank you all for reading.

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Old 09-02-2008, 01:53 PM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: manchester, uk
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Jenny83 HB User
Re: The hardest part for me.

Hi Im bipolar n have similar problems to u sex wise, I get urges n feelings that r almost overpowering, my psychiatrist told me of a muslim lady he saw who, when high would cheat on her husband n experience depression n regret after, it is the illness but as yet I havnt found the solution, soon asI do will let u know

Old 09-02-2008, 02:37 PM   #3
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Bunnylover HB User
Re: The hardest part for me.

I know it can be embarassing, but it's important to discuss these issues with your doctor. Unfortunately, I tend to have the opposite problem (most of the time I would be satisfied without any sex in my marriage, despite loving my husband deeply.) Correcting my depression has helped, although not as much as I would have liked.

Old 09-02-2008, 02:48 PM   #4
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Phenix City, Alabama, USA
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Evie70 HB User
Re: The hardest part for me.

Well, just count your lucky stars that you haven't ACTED on the urges! Take it from someone who HAS! I love my husband more than ANYTHING but it didn't stop me. I'm not ashamed to say that either cause I know it wasn't my fault. NOW! I didn't though and I almost ruined my whole marriage and life because of it! I was totally and utterly obsessed with someone else in my life and it gave me all the same feelings you have towards your husband and the weirdest part is that my husband is AWESOME in bed!

When I am not in what I call "obsessive
hypersexuality" or "psychotic hypersexuality" then it is all directed towards HIM! And its fantastic and WOW! But if its not, then I can't stand him and it's just ugly. I've learned what it is now - in fact that was one of the very first "issues" that I had to figure out with my Pdoc after I got a firm diagnosis cause I was in the middle of a HUGE mess but it all worked out and some things are just better left alone...ya' know?

Let sleeping dogs lie and God Bless my husband - he somehow did enough reading on this disorder quick enough to realize that there are some questions you just don't want to ask.
Take Care

Old 09-02-2008, 04:03 PM   #5
taking back
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taking back HB User
Re: The hardest part for me.

I have similar problems with sex also. I have never actually had sex with another man other than my husband but I have come close a few times.
My husband and I have always had a satisfying sex life. but when I get depressed I feel like I'm not loved, so I go seeking love and affection/attention from any man who will give it and then because they pay attention to me I am willing to do what ever they want in return and I usually want to do it to. I don't know how I have kept from not actually doing the deed up till now, except that I think about all I stand to lose. I think of what my life would be without my husband who has stood by me no matter what, so far.

I can tell you that I have been honest with him. Not at first, but once I was diagnosed with bp and realized that it explained so much about me and my actions. I go to counseling and I am open about everything, even when it is so embarrising. The key is to find a psychologist that you are very comfortable with. I do a therapy called EMDR, there is a website for it. It is very effective for me. It is supposed to redirect the wiring in your brain so that we don't have these thoughts or at least are able to control our actions better and have better decision making skills with all of this important stuff.It is very effective at helping us with those things we do that are self destructive, ie, affairs, even ones of the heart and not the body.

Old 09-02-2008, 06:20 PM   #6
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Posts: 1,915
seaturtle HB User
Re: The hardest part for me.

Yes, I have this problem. When I was younger, I "slept around" (around and around, lol).
I had no idea I had bp then.

I think you're wonderful to have held yourself back from acting on the sexual urges. They can be intense and yes, awfully uncomfortable. As with any illness, it's how we manage the symptoms that counts.

Your dh is a lucky man! And you're sparing yourself a lot of guilt - and maybe saving your marriage. Good for you!


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