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  • Am I Bipolar? Please help

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    Old 03-21-2014, 04:47 AM   #1
    Moiny
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    Am I Bipolar? Please help

    I cant sleep.
    Ive stuggled with this since i was 13. I just feel crazy
    I just want someone to understand me which is hard when i dont even understand myself. Please read ive wrote down how i sometimes
    Feel and what its like please let me know what you think.

    Feel lost today, not sure what im
    Doing or what im thinking. I cant sleep. Racing thoughts of terrible things My botfriend cheating on me in all ways possible worrying if he is sleeping with a girl in the mines calling girls texting them. I get so angry at myself when i let me think these stupid things i try to think positive i wsnt to i think about going to the beach in the morning for a surf and than i start to imagine a shark chasing me while im on a wave and im
    Scared and i try to get away and i fall off my board and the leg rope wraps around my neck and im
    Chocking and i hve to take the leg rope off but im panicking and the sharks gets my legs and than i stop myself and wake up and think positive positive i cant.

    But than tomorrows a new day and who knows i may wake up feelingawsome i put my makeup on, clothes and i think i look sexy i feel so confident and happy. My favourite song comes on the radio and i cant explain it but a full body feeling comes over me and i litrally feel on top of the world like im thee best person ever and i can do whatver i want, i start thinking that im meant to be famous an how im gunna be famous one day and become an actor and start singing and i just feel soo good lifes amazing works great im soo happy. And than it wears off and im back down not knowing whats going on im paranoid.

    So paranoying kicks in again sometime and i start thinking people are following me in the cars so i might have to do an extra loop around the round about to make sure there not following me. I get paranoid leavin my drinks out an around in case people drug me. I start thinking theres camers in my bathroom watching me my webcams on on my computer and im being watched. Im paranoid nathan is cheating on me but i KNOW that he is i just have this feeling and i know he has and probabaly is! And i hate it i hate these thoughts i just want to feel good all the time be on top of the world and happy.

    But times i feel so depressed. I couldnt be bothered talking and i dont care anymore. I put makeup on and i feel crummy i look crummy. none of the clothes fit me and I cant find clothes to wear. I find it hard holding down a job or finding a job or any big decision in general reallly. One day it sounds
    Great and perfect and the next i dont want to do it anymore. And this is constantly up and down one day its the best idea ive ever had the next im not sure anymore and it constantly jumps.

    But i dont want this! I dont want to be like this anymore and it gets
    To much and i always tell myself im going to go and see someone about it but i dont want too though! Because im fine theres nothing wrong with me i dont want to talk about it no one gets it no one understands and i just want to be okay but theres nothing wrong im fine.

    I just feel insane im know im not fine but i know im
    Fine and want to be fine..

    Last edited by mod85; 03-21-2014 at 04:40 PM.

     
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    Old 03-21-2014, 10:24 PM   #2
    xmaswolverine
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    Re: Am I Bipolar? Please help

    Hi there, I'm sorry you're feeling so confused. The first thing you need to know is that there are many of us who feel the same way you do.
    I have had this disorder (Bipolar) my whole life and things can and will get better but you must go see a professional to get the help you need. I spent many years telling myself I was fine when I was feeling good but as soon as the depression came I was so down I didn't care enough about myself to get help.
    My depression finally forced me to see a psychiatrist so I could live my life.

    Please seek the help of a professional therapist or psychiatrist soon so that you can get the treatment you need. Don't suffer with this alone. If you don't feel well enough to go on your own get a trusted friend or relative to go with you. Don't be discouraged; it might take a while for your doctor to find the appropriate treatment. This is normal.

    There are many people here for you if you need to talk so don't hesitate to reach out.

    Take care of yourself and keep us posted,
    Denise

     
    Old 04-22-2014, 12:56 AM   #3
    shellbipolar
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    Re: Am I Bipolar? Please help

    Could be you definitely have some symptoms, but only a psychiatrist can diagnose you. A person with bipolar can be around you in person for periods of time and tell a lot of time before the psychiatrist can. I told my cousin her son was bipolar years before he was ever diagnosed by a psychiatrist and how did I know? He acted just like I did at that age!!

     
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