It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Message Board
I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.

I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance, i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy, the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow; there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.

Waking The Sleeping Giant To Open The Flood Gates

Posted 08-11-2012 06:05 PM by Phoenix

Well,here I go again.....
The movie that plays over and over in my mind has wound me up yet again(Hello Mr.Klonopin).
I can't get the thought of the accident and all its' subcomponents out of my head.
Why can't I seem to go forward,without feeling i'm taking two steps back?
I've had an eating disorder before but never 7 years straight nor in intensity of sometimes up to ten times a day.
This accident has opened the flood gates to all of my other issues and it makes...
Phoenix's Avatar
Views 304 Comments 0 Phoenix is offline

My Therapist's a Godsend

Posted 08-11-2012 05:01 PM by Phoenix

Even though she stated that she's retiring next May,I look back at the nearly 4 years of sessions.
She knows me to a tee almost,which is a reason that I feel that I can be myself around her.
She doesn't judge me and stops me when I wade in the waters of victim mode too long.
She is fully aware that every session since day one,I can speak about how the motor vehicle accident of July 27th has severely impaired my life but she stops me from time to time,which is a good thing....
Phoenix's Avatar
Views 245 Comments 0 Phoenix is offline

A Wake Up Call

Posted 08-11-2012 09:22 AM by Phoenix

Early this morning,say around 2am EST,I took a drive because I couldn't seem to sleep.
Lo and behold,I see a woman sleeping in front of a library and she had something that resembled a child's bassinet.
As she wasn't facing me,I can't really say with 100% surety that there was a child with her.
I was so torn by what I saw,that I didn't have the heart to call the authorities.

It was a wake up call for me;to be grateful for what I do have.

I don't...
Phoenix's Avatar
Views 252 Comments 0 Phoenix is offline

Pain In My Neck (Literally)

Posted 08-10-2012 06:19 AM by Phoenix

This morning I woke up in PAIN.

Not the usual,wake up and expect to curse under your breath,type of pain but more like a pain that turned me from a wounded being to a philosopher,contemplating the meaning of life itself.
This is the type of pain that i'd even wish on my enemies(sorry but there's little room for compassion,when you feel like pain personified exponentially).

They say pain is one of those experiences that makes you know you're alive.
Phoenix's Avatar
Views 316 Comments 0 Phoenix is offline

Trying To Stay Positive While Misery Is My Company

Posted 08-09-2012 09:44 PM by Phoenix

Many say that optimism can and will take you far,if applied correctly.
Well,how does one apply it correctly,when plagued with much more than the average person has to endure?
Zen mastery couldn't help me at this point.
I do know one thing;the answer is within me but I still can't seem to locate it.
At this point,I think it will take multiple disciplines to get me where I need to be;for me.
You see,I hold myself to a much higher standard than anyone else and when...
Phoenix's Avatar
Views 291 Comments 0 Phoenix is offline

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:53 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!