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I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.

I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance, i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy, the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow; there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.

The Hunger Within

Posted 10-26-2012 12:57 AM by Phoenix
Updated 10-27-2012 12:43 AM by Phoenix

I have come to realize that I possess a certain "hunger" within myself,which creates a driving force to help me maintain life on the straight and narrow.

It's interesting that I used the word "hunger" because there is very little that motivates me and I must hold on to that which is offered me.

I want to be a friend to others but it's rather difficult when a person possesses unresolved trust issues.

I want so much right now;not in...
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Hold On Long Enough............. Private Entry

Posted 10-24-2012 10:14 AM by Phoenix
Updated 10-25-2012 08:10 PM by Phoenix (wording)

Hang in there long enough and miracles can happen.
When I say miracles,i'm not referring to walking on water or anything that miraculous.

I am a miracle and I say that with a humbled heart and soul. In all actuality,we all are but I will keep the focus on myself.

I survived early childhood abuse,witnessed my brother being stabbed,which subsequently led to his murder,became addicted to drugs and was in a motor vehicle accident,that ended up aggravating pre-existing...
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Staying Positive In Negative Times With Negative People

Posted 10-24-2012 09:17 AM by Phoenix
Updated 10-31-2012 04:10 PM by Phoenix

The header quite says it all.
When it seems that the world is against you and could care less how you feel,give a smile,for you've survived much more than any will know or care to.
This is your journey and you are responsible for trudging on,at all costs.
Don't let back-biters and wolve's in sheeps clothing stray you away from your purpose.
Your goal is to find out who you are;both your strengths and weaknesses.
If others are negative and lessen the severity of...
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If It Isn't Broke..........

Posted 10-24-2012 09:13 AM by Phoenix
Updated 10-24-2012 09:24 AM by Phoenix

......don't fix it.

For me,things have become broken but repairing takes so much time and energy.

Like in therapy;sure it's helping but the one step forwards and another step back...............

It's all part of the process.
I have amassed 7 years worth of issues.
I've been carrying them ariund like a metal ball and chain.
OK, the first part is recognizing that there's a is doing something about it,which I've done...
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Survivor Of The School Of Hard Knocks-Street Version

Posted 09-04-2012 12:16 AM by Phoenix
Updated 09-05-2012 10:13 AM by Phoenix (editing and responsibility variants)

Here I am today; in a different mode.
I decided to delete my previous posting because I seemed to be going off on a completely different tangent.
I'm both thankful and grateful to have come out of the streets because(to tell you the truth) in retrospect,I should've never been there in the first place.
I entered a "world" that preys on the innocent;taking kindness for weakness and exploiting of another person's weak points is likened to ordering the soup of the day....
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