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I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.

I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance, i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy, the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow; there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
Pain Management

Seven shades of miserable part II

Posted 12-06-2012 10:40 AM by Phoenix
Updated 12-08-2012 02:51 AM by Phoenix

As my body adjusts to all of these changes,I have come to realize a few things about myself.For one,i'm out of shape.Tried a little stretching and minor exercises.It's confirmed;i'm nowhere near fit(dare I use the term).Guess i'll have to chalk it up to my sedentary lifestyle.
Still feeling a bit nauseous every now and then but I have to expect that,for not even Rome was built in one day.
I must admit that the tendency to sleep throughout various points of the day is lessening(thank...
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Seven shades of miserable

Posted 11-28-2012 10:13 AM by Phoenix
Updated 11-28-2012 01:33 PM by Phoenix

I'm currently lowering my dosages of pain medications because I truly need to see if my body can go without them,as I fully understand that the body can naturally build tolerance toward certain legally controlled substances(motor vehicle accident-2005).
I will say it's not the easiest thing I had to do but far from the harshest i've experienced.
This is where my faith comes in.
I truly believe that a power greater than myself can return my body to "sanity" if you will....
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It's Not Easy Being Me

Posted 08-15-2012 10:23 AM by Phoenix

I say this because I seem to be misunderstood by so many people;one's that never take the time out to surmise whether or not I am a true blue individual or a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Aromas of illegal narcotics wreak throughout the hallways and it seems that way too many individuals that I live around are getting high.
People down the street,around the corner;it's as if i'm surrounded by the same people that i'm not supposed to be associated with(people,places and things)....
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I'm Tired

Posted 08-13-2012 04:13 AM by Phoenix

As this is entry #7,which is supposed to be a lucky number,maybe I'll find success in posting this preface as well as blog below......

When I say I'm tired;it's physically,psychologically,metaphoricall y,existentially and yet I have yet to get here goes.....
my soul hurts(I,myself,am blown away by what I just mentioned).

Most think of religion when mentioning this awe-inspired word but that's not what this is about.
My soul (at least to...
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My Therapist's a Godsend

Posted 08-11-2012 05:01 PM by Phoenix

Even though she stated that she's retiring next May,I look back at the nearly 4 years of sessions.
She knows me to a tee almost,which is a reason that I feel that I can be myself around her.
She doesn't judge me and stops me when I wade in the waters of victim mode too long.
She is fully aware that every session since day one,I can speak about how the motor vehicle accident of July 27th has severely impaired my life but she stops me from time to time,which is a good thing....
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