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I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.

I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance, i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy, the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow; there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
Pain Management

Pain In My Neck (Literally)

Posted 08-10-2012 06:19 AM by Phoenix

This morning I woke up in PAIN.

Not the usual,wake up and expect to curse under your breath,type of pain but more like a pain that turned me from a wounded being to a philosopher,contemplating the meaning of life itself.
This is the type of pain that i'd even wish on my enemies(sorry but there's little room for compassion,when you feel like pain personified exponentially).

They say pain is one of those experiences that makes you know you're alive.
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Trying To Stay Positive While Misery Is My Company

Posted 08-09-2012 09:44 PM by Phoenix

Many say that optimism can and will take you far,if applied correctly.
Well,how does one apply it correctly,when plagued with much more than the average person has to endure?
Zen mastery couldn't help me at this point.
I do know one thing;the answer is within me but I still can't seem to locate it.
At this point,I think it will take multiple disciplines to get me where I need to be;for me.
You see,I hold myself to a much higher standard than anyone else and when...
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There's Always More

Posted 08-08-2012 07:42 AM by Phoenix

I am often left asking myself:"what next can happen to me?"
For whatever reason,my questions always seems to be met with an answer.
It leaves me feeling as if I must hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
As I look back at my life,I am caught up contemplating whether or not I would do things different,if I had the chance to.

The "generic" answer is "no,I wouldn't change a thing."

The honest version is a tad more...
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