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Trying to be understanding...

Posted 10-11-2012 10:27 AM by Rdbomb94
Updated 10-11-2012 05:12 PM by Administrator

Hi-Today is not a good day...I'm sad,hurt,angry. Let me give you some background info...I have been married to my 2nd husband for years. We have teenagers. we do not have any children together,however we have always taken to each child as if they were our own since neither parent was in their lives. My ex-husband went to prison and his ex-wife lost her parental rights about the same time for neglect and abuse.

Now...I didn't take my kids to see their father as much as I should have when they were growing up. It was a mistake on part,because at the end of the day he did love his kids and i kept them from him. He was released about a month ago and my daughter went to see him first because she kept in contact with him the most thru phone calls and letters. Last weekend I finally got my son to agree to go (it would have been easier to pull out my teeth). My son really doesn't know him and could care less. He's also very close to my husband and I think he was concerned about hurting his feelings. However the visit went well.
Now on to my step son...we've had issues with him lying and other problems. It seems everytime I get close to him he pulls away,or does something to push me away. He has tried to play me against his dad before but that ended quickly. For the most part he's a good kid,you just can't believe a thing he says. As a result it took me awhile to warm up to him but I tried over and over again. We finally got to a place,I thought where if there was an issue he would come to me. With my daughter and my son when they got closer to turning 18 they starting testing limits and now he is too.

What happened is this: I told him to his chores, he fell asleep. I told him again 4hrs later. The next day I asked and he still had not done it. So I yelled at him. He got an attitude and walked out,but finally did them. My husband came home and they took a walk. He then tells my husband that since this past weekend when I saw my ex husband I've changed (he's the only one saying this) and that everytime he starts to trust me i yell at him. I feel like he's trying to start trouble between me and my husband. My husband and I talked about it last night and he's fine because he wasn't sure what exactly he meant by that,but to him I'm still lil old me.

We're supposed to talk more tonight,but I am just so angry!!! I mean this is my marriage and I don't need any trust issues. To clarify there are no feelings for my ex,zero it's a dead issue. It died when when he went and broke the law.
My thing is this...if you don't trust me after 5 years,forget it you're not going to. I might as well just throw in the towel. My other thing,what game is this kid trying to play. Does he think his father is going to leave me? Is he mad because I didn't take him with us? My son didn't want anyone going but me. I only brought my daughter because I knew she could keep it getting awkward. I've tried with him I really have but this is too much. I just don't know what to do...oh and I woke up with the world's biggest migrane ever!!
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