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Thoughts on my life with:
Lupus, Fibromyalgia, IBS, GERD, Osteopenia, Brain Stem Stroke, Stress, and Severe Reactive Hypoglycemia.

Surgeries: Hysterectomy, Right Oophorectomy, Incidental Appendectomy, Urethral Suspension, Benign Left Modified Mastectomy/ Lumpectomy.

As if that wasn't enough: Nine fractured ribs, Morton's Neuroma, Left- sided Hyperhydrosis, Left- sided Thermoception Dysfunction, and even hot flashes.
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Having nightmares

Posted 10-08-2010 06:55 AM by Sunsetnan
Updated 10-08-2010 06:57 AM by Sunsetnan

Well, I finally had it. I had my first nightmare about all this. They say if your blood sugar is low you are more likely to have a nightmare. And I checked it this morning and it was on the low side. But, the subject of my nightmare shows how this is all affecting me.

I am taking Zoloft for my Fibromyalgia. It has a tendency to stabilize moods and I have not cried at all about my personal crisis. In fact, i think that I am numb. I have anger, resentment, feelings of betrayal and have been bitter. This is all making me into someone I don't want to be.

I attended a stress reduction class, and amongst the ways to reduce stress they recommended that you just "let it go." Well, right now, I can't let it go. I'm know I'm not to a point of forgiveness and will never forget.

Yes, I'm hurt. My life will never be the same and I am angry that this person has forced it upon me and my children. But, I will take this challenge head on.

I have a very good support system and that has been a blessing. I am finding out just how great my friends and family are. They are being tested, too.

They say that God uses the adversities in our life to see what we're made of and for some greater good. I need to trust that God has a plan for me, that it will make me a better person, and this is all leading me towards something much better.

At some point, I hope that my life will be much less stressful for me and my children in the long run. But, I know for a while, it will be scary and challenging.

I have the tools to help make it so that all this stress does not adversely affect my health, so I must use them. I will need to find time for myself to meditate. I must give myself this gift of time. It is not being selfish. It is saving myself. It is putting the oxygen mask on me first so that I can take care of my children.

All of a sudden, all the little things that caused me strife, pale in comparison. I was worried about getting the lawn mowed, and chores done around the house. Now, I'm just glad that I have a house. And, I may not have that for long.

Right now, the nightmares are during every waking hour of the day. Hopefully, I won't have anymore night time nightmares. I will try to eat some type of protein before I go to bed to help my hypoglycemia. At least then, I can have seven hours of peace.

Best Regards,
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