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11 y/o not potty trained HELP!!

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Old 01-13-2007, 06:26 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Michigan
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Stressedmomof4 HB User
11 y/o not potty trained HELP!!

My 11 year old son has never been fully potty trained. It's so frustrating because he is a very smart kid. He has all A's and B's in school. He poops and pees all the time. He sometimes uses the toilet. He does know how. He has been to many doctors and had tons of tests run. They thought maybe it was constipation so they put him on Miralax. That never helped so they sent him to more doctors. He's also been on Ditropan, Detrol and some antibiotic that he took for quite a while. Nothing helped at all. Now the doctors say there is nothing wrong with him. If we tell him he smells bad he says "It isn't me." I swear he doesn't care. When we get on his case about it he tells us that he don't feel it but the doctors have tested that reflex and say he does. We are afraid to invite friends over because he really can stink up our house. I have to wash his laundry separately because his clothes will stink up the rest of the family's. I actually found a turd in the washing machine today because he threw poopy underwear right in. I am at my witts end here and I don't know what to do. This is NOT normal. He is going to go into middle school in less than 2 years and kids already pick on him. It's only gonna get worse. There has to be a reason why he is doing this. What makes it even weirder is he's also a germaphob unless it's his own germs. He don't seem to mind having his own poop on himself. He even poops and pees the bed!

I need ideas and suggestions! This HAS to stop and SOON!! The only doctor he hasn't been to is a psychologist so I am making him an appointment! I would LOVE to have some ideas and suggestions on how to handle this.

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Old 01-14-2007, 07:48 AM   #2
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Brocallie HB UserBrocallie HB UserBrocallie HB UserBrocallie HB UserBrocallie HB User
Re: 11 y/o not potty trained HELP!!

I agree with you that he needs psychological/psychiatric help. He has some major issue going on with him.

Old 01-14-2007, 11:46 AM   #3
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elmhar HB Userelmhar HB User
Re: 11 y/o not potty trained HELP!!

My preference would be for a behavioral therapist who could help you set up & run a training program at home.

An 11 yo (& younger) is fully capable of scrubbing out stains, cleaning self up, etc. This should be part of the consequence for the episodes.

But any behavioral training program worth it's weight will focus on rewarding appropriate voiding, i.e. in the toilet.

At 11 you will soon be dealing with puberty issues & need for privacy, etc. which will tend to complicate resolution of the issue.

Since your son is 11 & middle school is 2 yrs. away, might there be a learning deficit contributing to the problem?

If you think his behavior has a passive-aggressive streak to it, a psychologist may be able to help you all work it through.

Best wishes.

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