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I b crazy can anyone help


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Old 12-04-2014, 11:40 AM   #1
hatemylife404
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Join Date: Dec 2014
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hatemylife404 HB User
I b crazy can anyone help

problems
1. SMELL LIKE CRAP EVERY SINGLE DAY NO MATTER how many showers i take. my nickname people usully give me is scott, after the tp brand.
2. the anexiety: hard to go into stores,school,church anywhere around people wn i stink and people find it affensive and dont understand i cant help it.
3. Depression/ just ashamed of myself, its been a miserable existince
4. bi polar/ i know think everyone is talking about me so im on gaurd 24-7 and if u laugh at me or look at me funny i might flip. ive done alot of damage in my life.once i get going i cant stop. i have some insane thoughts.
4. family/ disowned me , made me sleep n the garage. reason my dad left my mom. we dont speak anymore. i still dont know why they didnt try harder to get me help.
5. homlessness/ since i stunk so bad i had no friends , couldnt keep a job, no education i became homless at 23. where i had to sleep on th streets. i found people more forgiving on my smell becuase they just thought i hadnt showerd. being homless. the mental repercussions r endless. i think im dealing with an insane amount of resintment towards the universe on that.
6/ alcohol, drugs/ prison: obviously if u smell like crap and the world turned its back on u chances r u might need a drink. so that became my job it numbed my pain, took the aniexety away. with drinkin /drugs comes jail. jail was very hard for me. i spent most my time in the hole. once agin all by myself where no one can make fun of me or hurt me.
7. hospitals/ i drank myself to death at 29 ( alcohlic hpititis of liver ) worst pain ever still limited in my daily i have a hole n my esophagaus from throwing up so much. docs still not sure how im still alive. also been admitted to the nutt house. dont go to docs becuase i get made fun of so im not on any meds. coundnt afford them anyways.

as of today i have a girlfriend who loves me and takes care of me the best she can. i just feel like i need professional help im gonna lose my only friend if i dont. but its hard to try when the doctors are all gonna make fun of me. fyi my step dad is a gastro doc and him and my mom even make fun of me. i just cant take it.

If anybody has some constructive critisim or any sincer advise im truely thankfull. IM NEW TO THIS SO I HOPE I DIDNT AFFEND ANYONE. TY

Last edited by Administrator; 12-04-2014 at 11:53 AM.

 
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