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The New Normal


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Old 03-05-2017, 04:06 PM   #1
OnlyNameAvail
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Unhappy The New Normal

This is the first time I'm posting on a message board in my life. I suffered a life-changing TBI on 6/4/16 and since then I've had a string of bad luck that have made things then they already were.

I was out of work for 3 months and after starting at a new job a month earlier. You couldn't work for a better company of better people. They thought of my wife and family first. It was beyond touching. Now; 9 months later my last day of work is March 15th. They're letting me go. There's a variety of reasons and my TBI has nothing to do with it. On top of that I am in the midst of what can only be called the most brutal and painful divorce you can think of. Besides having my wife lie to get me out of my home so she can have full possession of it...she accused me of beating her as as abusing our kids, technically my step-daughters, but I raised them and was and still am their father. None of it is true and after 4 mo the I am still waiting for the hearing to determine if there is a valid need for the TRO she got. By law it's supposed to be held within 10 days. Not this time I guess. I've been I jail 3 times, twice for a day and one CE for three days due to false accusations of violating the TRO. I actually got one first because she told me she would lie to the police to get me out of the house. I went to court the next day and told them what she said and that I was afraid for my well being and they gave me one. The she went back the next day and told her lies. That was November and I'm still waiting for my day in court.

All that on top of what my therapist said would be the hardest thing for me to come to terms with.....accepting and living with the new normal. I had a severe diffuse axonal injury and my neurosurgeon told me that 90% of people with the same injury as bad as mine never come out of the coma and the 10% that do have severe brain damage. Well, I'm out of it and don't have severe brain damage, but I am nowhere near the same person and that it why I am calling this post [B]The New Normal[B], because I am trying to adjust to it.

Before I go any further, please know I am not looking for any sympathy or comparing my injury or situation with anyone else's.

I also have BiPolar Disorder II, which makes it more complicated for my neuropsychiatrist to treat some of my daily challenges with drugs that help. I take a few meds and they help, but nothing helps me accept and not be depressed about not being g the same person. No one in my life understands that everything I do every day is soooooo much harder. Things I used to take for granted or did without even thinking about it I struggle with.

Anyway, I am struggling with the fact that I went for a bike ride, I was a big cyclist, and I wake up 6 days later and my entire life is different. There are big things, but it's the hundreds of little ones that happen everyday that remind me how different things are.

Anyone have any ideas on how to come to terms with [B]THE NEW NORMAL?[B]

Thank you in advance for any insight you can share.

Last edited by Administrator; 03-05-2017 at 07:58 PM.

 
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Old 04-17-2017, 08:04 PM   #2
JuJu Burd
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Re: The New Normal

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnlyNameAvail View Post
This is the first time I'm posting on a message board in my life. I suffered a life-changing TBI on 6/4/16 and since then I've had a string of bad luck that have made things then they already were.

I was out of work for 3 months and after starting at a new job a month earlier. You couldn't work for a better company of better people. They thought of my wife and family first. It was beyond touching. Now; 9 months later my last day of work is March 15th. They're letting me go. There's a variety of reasons and my TBI has nothing to do with it. On top of that I am in the midst of what can only be called the most brutal and painful divorce you can think of. Besides having my wife lie to get me out of my home so she can have full possession of it...she accused me of beating her as as abusing our kids, technically my step-daughters, but I raised them and was and still am their father. None of it is true and after 4 mo the I am still waiting for the hearing to determine if there is a valid need for the TRO she got. By law it's supposed to be held within 10 days. Not this time I guess. I've been I jail 3 times, twice for a day and one CE for three days due to false accusations of violating the TRO. I actually got one first because she told me she would lie to the police to get me out of the house. I went to court the next day and told them what she said and that I was afraid for my well being and they gave me one. The she went back the next day and told her lies. That was November and I'm still waiting for my day in court.

All that on top of what my therapist said would be the hardest thing for me to come to terms with.....accepting and living with the new normal. I had a severe diffuse axonal injury and my neurosurgeon told me that 90% of people with the same injury as bad as mine never come out of the coma and the 10% that do have severe brain damage. Well, I'm out of it and don't have severe brain damage, but I am nowhere near the same person and that it why I am calling this post [B]The New Normal[B], because I am trying to adjust to it.

Before I go any further, please know I am not looking for any sympathy or comparing my injury or situation with anyone else's.

I also have BiPolar Disorder II, which makes it more complicated for my neuropsychiatrist to treat some of my daily challenges with drugs that help. I take a few meds and they help, but nothing helps me accept and not be depressed about not being g the same person. No one in my life understands that everything I do every day is soooooo much harder. Things I used to take for granted or did without even thinking about it I struggle with.

Anyway, I am struggling with the fact that I went for a bike ride, I was a big cyclist, and I wake up 6 days later and my entire life is different. There are big things, but it's the hundreds of little ones that happen everyday that remind me how different things are.

Anyone have any ideas on how to come to terms with [B]THE NEW NORMAL?[B]

Thank you in advance for any insight you can share.
It takes time. i feel for you & everything you're dealing with. My neurologist told me "we can re-train the brain". I cling to that thought/belief each day. I can relate to the fact that every thing is harder. I can't tie shoes or do zippers so i wear clothes that I can pull over my head, slip on shoes & pants with elastic waists. I know what I can do and don't try to do more. I'll only frustrate myself & you will too. but I get Craniosacral Therapy every week & go to my therapist weekly so I can vent any frustration I experience. Be kind to yourself. Yoga & meditation are relaxing. Try laying down, taking "rest periods" throughout the day. Listen to podcasts, just relax. Your head & body have gone through trauma. They need to heal. Drink something with eletrolytes (Gatorade). It will help ease the dizziness. Don't despair. Yes, right now is awful but tomorrow might be the beginning of something wonderful!
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Old 04-25-2017, 03:52 PM   #3
OnlyNameAvail
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Re: The New Normal

Thank you for your reply and apologies that I am just seeing it now. I completely forgot that I posted that and as I am sitting here closing all the old browser windows on my safari iPhone app I saw my post and your reply. I do things to relax and try to remember bad myself that it hasn't even been a year since the accident. I try to remind myself that initially I felt lucky just to be alive. I hope that the kind of life I lead today changes and before I get to the breaking point.

Last edited by Administrator; 04-25-2017 at 05:17 PM.

 
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Old 04-26-2017, 01:49 AM   #4
RGNUK
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Re: The New Normal

Have you got support from friends and relatives? It can be difficult for people who are close to you to give the type of support you need now. Joining a support group might help to know you are not struggling alone and people will not judge you. I hope you find your way through. Good luck!

 
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Old 04-26-2017, 02:44 PM   #5
OnlyNameAvail
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Re: The New Normal

Thank you for your note RGNUK! I am very fortunate that I have a close group of incredibly supportive friends and an amazing supportive family. I have also started recently going to a TBI support group. So far I have found it to be OK, not great, but only because I can't identify that closely with the other participants because we're so far apart in age and at different places in our recovery. My injury was sustained less than a year ago and I am still coming to terms with the new normal. That said, I recognize everybody's injury is different and the after affects are different for everyone and that no one's injury is any better or worse than anyone else's, they are all devastating!! I have tried a couple of different groups and even though it didn't seem to be that beneficial I am going to continue going as well as try some other ones. I am definitely struggling, and any help I can get from anyone is greatly appreciated!

 
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brain, coma, depression, suicide, tbi



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