HealthBoards (
-   Brain & Nervous System Disorders (
-   -   please help one knows whats wrong with me...i fear i cant go on.. (

Lost 07-27-2001 03:33 PM

please help one knows whats wrong with me...i fear i cant go on.. goes...this is a somewhat long, convoluted tale, but if anyone out there is fond or adept at problem solving, please read through..if not, skip to the bottom and see my absurdly long list of question.

A little over a year ago, I woke up in the morning with a strange, pressure like sensation in my forehead (please be aware of the fact that I was a recreational drug user for about a year and this change occurred about a week after a binge period of cocaine and ecstasy) -- accompanying this feeling was one of slight mental stupor. At first I associated the problem with a developing cold/sinus infection. However, as weeks passed, the pressure augmented -- I felt like my entire head was in a vacuum -- also the mental stupor evolved into something much larger -- I could not focus on anything, understand anything or articulate myself properly (literally)-- I felt trapped in the twighlight zone -- nothing made sense to me anymore and I thought I was going insane.

I saw specialist after specialist (general practicitioners, neurologists, allergists etc) and they performed numerous tests (like cat scan of sinuses and head, eeg and mri). They found nothing -- Meanwhile as I moved slowyly through life wondering what the hell was wrong with me, my depersonalization developed along with severe panic attacks.

I took every type of medication available (neurontin, depakote, nortriptyline, midrin) --they all worked slightly but the effects were fleeting, lasting only about 2 days. Then, I would revert back to my normal, depressed, anxious, perplexed, chronic pain ridden and intellectually hindered self.

Finally, I was referred to psychiatry -- my psychiatrist put me on clonopin and paxil because he thought that i was just really stressed -- again the cocktail worked at the beginning for about 2 days but then i felt crappy again.

Now, i am on 40mgs daily of paxil..granted, i feel slightly better but i still feel miserable.

What I really need to know is what the heck happened to me?

Could this have been a minor stroke?

Could it be severe anxiety?

What can be done for the head pain?

Why is it that now I can utter a few words verbally but not be able to continue talking coherently? ie, I say something to someone but then i forget what i want to say next and become lost and confused.

please please please,

any suggestions or just anything at all would be helpful.

thank you all in advance so much for your input

Robert2 07-27-2001 06:51 PM

I suggest that you admit yourself to a drug treatment facilty. Preferably one in a teaching hospital. Not only do these facilities have the expertise to get people off of drugs, but they also have a lot knowledge about the withdrawal symptoms. They may be able to pin down what's going on. Before you go, try to write down the name of everything you used as well as how much and how often. If you have any of the pills left, do take them with you. Good Luck.

rocket boy 08-06-2001 08:25 AM

Dear Lost

I can totally sympathise with your situation. Like yourself I was a user of rec drugs. One night after a binge on E and Hash I had a huge panic attack and was taken to the emergency room. It started out as a extremely painful stomach ache and then I just freaked out and thought I was dying. 10 days after this initial attack I woke in the middle of the night in a state of absolute terror. There was a very disturbing burning sensation in the back of my head and my whole body seemed to be shaking, my arms were tingling. I would get like an electric shock type of sensation run through my entire body. This happened several times over the next few weeks. After each Ďattackí I would feel extremely detached and out of it and in a constant state of anxiety awaiting the next terrifying episode. Other symptoms then started to manifest. Shooting pains in my chest and arms, muscle spasm and cramps all over my body but particularly in my legs. After about 2 months I began to feel a strange pressure on the top of my head, like a numb buzzing sensation and it would feel like my head was going to float off my shoulders and drop through the floor at the same time (Itís the only way I can describe it). This sensation has now moved to the back of my head/top of my neck and it comes and goes, usually getting worse during the day. I get a similar kind of numb burning pressure that migrates around my face and head, mostly the roof of my mouth and across the bridge of my nose. It feels like my sinuses have been pumped full of glue. Itís really freaky the way it moves around If anything sets off one of my attacks it is an escalation of these symptoms. Recently I have also started to get a blue flash in my left eye. I can only see this when my eyes are closed or if Iím in a dark place, I only seem to get it when Iím really anxious and tense and it really freaks me out. Iíve had my eyes checked out and they are fine. I have been to my GP several times and she seems to think it is panic or anxiety disorder. I have finally convinced her to refer me to a neurologist, unfortunately got a long wait to see him (6 more weeks).

So at the moment I am just taking things one day at a time. Like you, I need to find out what is wrong so that I can start to get things together again. My thoughts are absolutely consumed with what is wrong with me and Iím sure this is compounding matters. I thought that I was losing my mind when I couldnít remember what people were saying to me or I would lose my way mid sentence. I seem to have got passed that by trying to distract my thoughts away from my own symptoms, and this is sometimes so hard to do. I have cleaned up my lifestyle and make sure I eat well and regularly and drink plenty of water. Iíve stopped smoking and cut down on the drinking and obviously no more party products. Actually when I am drunk is one of the few times when I feel somewhat normal again but what I go through the next day is pure hell, so I donít drink much very often. Iíve also cut out any caffeine, so unfortunately no more tea or coffee. I think that anything that I can do to make me feel better is going to be beneficial so Iíve been getting massages and going to an Osteopath. Iím not convinced they are helping my problem but I do feel reasonably relaxed after a session and that in itself is some relief, even if it is temporary. I try and exercise every day and make sure that I go to work no matter how crap I feel. I think it is important to try and keep mentally occupied, although I am the first to admit that my work is suffering. Fortunately I can still do enough to deflect the attentions of my boss. Iím not on any medication, my doctor is reluctant to start me on anything until my meeting with the Neuro. I guess I can relate to your frustration but unfortunately I donít have any answers. One of my big frustrations is that although I have told my friends about what is happening to me, they donít understand completely. Most of them think it will go away like some sort of virus. My life has been totally flipped but they canít comprehend because outwardly I still appear the same. I really try to keep a positive attitude but this is possibly the hardest thing for me to do. I try to take inspiration from others who are in a worse situation than me but coping better.

As for the drugs issue. I got in touch with a Psychologist . He seems to be an authority on what happens to your brain when you use psychoactive substances. This is an extract of what he wrote back to me.

ďWhat you are describing is probably an anxiety disorder, but a form of epilepsy can not be ruled out. I agree with your GP that seeing a neurologist is a reasonable first step, although I feel that the problem is unlikely to turn out to be neurological. Once you have excluded a neurological problem and had a brain wave tracing (an eeg), you should see a psychiatrist for an assessment. They are likely to prescribe something like paroxetine and refer you on to a psychologist for relaxation training. Of one thing I am certain: this problem is not 'caused' by the drugs you have taken. Many people have problems like this who have never touched any drugs.Ē

Although he has not examined me he seems to hold the belief that the drugs I took were not the cause but perhaps the trigger of something that I have always had. I donít know what to think really. I took drugs with the knowledge of the risks involved so I donít beat myself up over itÖ.I canít turn back the clock. Apparently it takes some time for Paxil to kick in so maybe you are still waiting for the benefits.

So not too many answers from me but now you know that there is someone else out there going through the same thing. Good luck mate and please post back if you find anything that helps you out, I will do likewise



[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 03-25-2002).]

wobeegon 08-06-2001 08:45 PM

thank you so very much for your reply.

I highly recommend that you see a psychiatrist immediately so that he can assess your situation and entertain different remedies.

I have been on paxil (40mg) for approximately 3 months now and I feel like a new person. Although there are still fleeting residual effects (such as the dp and mental fog), these episodes occur with less frequency.

In essence, paxil has been a godsend.

You will revert (eventually) back to your normal self (albeit a much wiser and appreciative self. Give it time and investigate the possibility of taking klonopin and an ssri.

good luck and keep me posted.

[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 03-25-2002).]

wobeegon 08-06-2001 08:49 PM

thank you so very much for your reply.

I highly recommend that you see a psychiatrist immediately so that he can assess your situation and entertain different remedies.

I have been on paxil (40mg) for approximately 3 months now and I feel like a new person (at long last). Although there are still fleeting residual effects (such as the dp and mental fog), these episodes occur with less frequency.

In essence, paxil has been a godsend.

You will revert (eventually) back to your normal self (albeit a much wiser and appreciative self). Give it time and investigate the possibility of taking klonopin and an ssri.

good luck and keep me posted.

[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 03-25-2002).]

rocket boy 08-09-2001 05:38 AM

Great to hear that things are getting better for you. You have given me some hope - at last - when I have been getting pretty depressed about it all. It is so easy to get concerned about my symptoms and fear the worst. I guess you know what I mean by that. Iím getting very little understanding or encouragement from my GP. I have asked to be referred to a Psychologist but my GP wants to wait until I have first seen the Neurologist to rule out any physical illness. I can understand her point of view but it is a long time to wait for me. I have found another web site that might interest you. There are a few stories on the discussion board that seem pretty similar to yours and mine and some with pretty good news.


[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 03-25-2002).]

RICK ARNIM 08-13-2001 11:37 AM

I have the same symptoms going on. Nobody understands what I go through. It can be so terrifying! I feel strange pressure sensations in my head, usually around the temples or on top of my head. After the pressure sensation I feel strange and can tell I am impaired somehow. Things just don't seem right. I do fine usually if I stay totally regimented and never miss sleep. If I drink alcohol and stay up late on the weekend I can really notice that the problem increases. It is strange that having a drink of an alcoholic beverage and getting a little buzz will usually zap it right away. But I can't do that on a regular basis. I recently went on vacation and had to drink eveyday all day or go insane. I had no choice.
I had every test in the book done on me and the doctors said i was fine. I have been rushed to the hospital 3 times. I was diagnosed with panic dissorder and am taking Zoloft. I have had this problem since last Thanksgiving. Went off the zoloft once and had the symptoms return. I am needless to say back on the pills for good now. One thing that I do have in common with you guys is that all of this started after i was taking some pills. I was taking large amounts of ma haung based products for years. Ma haung is an herb put into diet pills and energy pills. Things like Ripped Fuels and Xenadrine have this herb in them. I tool way over the recommended dose when all of this first took place. I have fought it ever since. It is awful , why can't doctors give us any answers?
If you guys find anything out please post it here. Thanks Rick.

aldonza 08-13-2001 06:14 PM

After reading about the posts here on ecstacy and other recreational drug use, whew, i have decided to cut out the big article in the paper today and put it up at my job. (i work with a lot of young people who think all drugs are just fun and games, and no consequences)
the newspaper had a half page photo of all these brain scans done on non-drug using people...the brains showed lots of "light" which is an indication of a normally functioning brain.
the bottom half of the picture had scans of brains of people who had done ecstacy and/or cocaine, but at least THREE weeks after the last use of said drugs.
but what did the picture show?
well, it showed that the brains had marked decrease in the areas of the brain that produce seretonins...
in other words--damage.
it broke my heart to look at that picture.
to think of people who are "having fun" maybe for a day, a night, a weekend...but they are literally blasting their brain function.
my hope is that through more research into drugs like Paxil, Effexor, and so forth, we'll yet find a way to restore lost, and apparently quite essential brain function.
you guys hang in there, and keep looking for answers!
it cannot be easy, and perhaps not many folks understand what you are going through, but my heart goes out to you.
i hope you share your experiences with others, that they can keep their brain function in tact, and be of help to you in your continuing search for your own brain function recovery.
good luck.

yackie 08-14-2001 07:52 AM

I just have a basic thought for everyone here. Is it possible to get a hold of the "drugs" you took (same batch is best, same dealer, etc) and take it to your doctor and have it analyzed by a lab. A chemical analysis. Maybe there was other "fillers" in there and it may answer some questions and provide objective information.

rocket boy 08-15-2001 06:31 AM

Great to get some feed back fom you guys. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one trying to deal with this. I wish I did have some pills for analysis but it was 6 months ago and unfortunately I can't get the same thing.


Did the physical symptoms, like the pressure in your head go away once you started on the Paxil. I think if I could just get rid of those sensations then I could really start to make some progress. It is always some strange bodily sensation which gets me really anxious.

Keep smiling you guys

wobeegon 08-16-2001 10:04 PM

yo...i feel absolutely wonderful (comparatively speaking) these days..i am on 40mgs paxil per day and it took nearly 2 months to really kick in!

rocket boy 09-27-2001 06:48 AM

Hi Guys. Iím not sure if you are all still looking at this stream . Anyway I was wondering how you are all getting on? Anyone got an update for me?

From my own point of view I am starting to feel like a new man. I feel better than I have since January when all this crap began. It is wonderful to feel alive again and I am starting to enjoy my life once again.

By chance I ran into a guy at a party who has been dealing with the same sorts of symptoms that I have been having. It was bizarre to hear him talk about his own situation as it virtually mirrored my own. After listening to him talk about his own situation I was really encouraged by what he had been doing recently. Anyway this is what I have been doing lately and it has really helped.

1. Liver Cleansing diet (Book by Dr Cabot). To flush out my liver and basically clear out my system
2. Drink 2oz of wheat grass juice a day (Got to grow and squeeze it yourself unless you live next to a juice bar). Heaps of info on the net about this stuff. Tastes like lawn clippings but itís really good for you.
3. Bikram Yoga 3- 4 times a week. This is done in a heated room and you really sweat it out. Awesome for controlling your breathing a getting a real calmness. I had forgotten what it was like for my body and mind to be relaxed, so when it happened for the first time I almost lapsed straight into another panic attack Ė it felt so alien. Itís so good now that I know that feeling once again. Any yoga will probably do if you donít have a Bikram yoga class where you live. 4. Lots of relaxation and meditation. Hard to do to start with but slowly gets easier.
5. A regular sleep pattern.
6. Vitamin B supplement, Fish Oil and a Calcium/Magnesium supplement.
7. No caffeine or alcohol.

I have come to the realisation that the panic attacks and symptoms that I have been getting were not Ďcausedí by taking drugs. It is so easy to make this connection. I donít think I have irreparably damaged my brain as a result of taking E or charlie or smoking pot. I admit that this was definitely the trigger for it happening but I get the feeling that it may well have happened in any case. Anyway Iím not going to dwell on the past or the reasons why. I prefer to focus on the future and getting well again. It has become my mission! I seemed to hit a brick wall with everyone I went to for advice, so I decided to really help myself and trust in my own instincts about what I was feeling in my body. I believe that part of why I am starting to get better can be attributed to a complete change in attitude. I have really focused on being more positive and trying not dwell on my symptoms. This has been really difficult to do but it has got easier as time has gone by. The less I fester on the crazy sensations in my body the more relaxed I become and the more I begin to enjoy myself. It is exactly the opposite of the spiral that led to the development of these sensations. The meditation and the yoga have really helped me to do this.

My neurologist said that she suspects I have nothing wrong with my brain and although I am still waiting for an eeg I am positive that it wonít show much.

I havenít had to resort to medications. After lots of research on panic and anxiety disorders I decided to try and sort myself out by addressing the aspects of my life I had been neglecting for so long. All Iím really doing is focusing on living a good, clean and healthy life style and it seems to be working.

OK gotta go for now. Hope you are doing well. If youíve got any questions Iíll check this sight in a few days.

[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 03-25-2002).]

lee26878 10-04-2001 07:55 PM

You guys have all described my symptoms to perfection. I was a heavy ecstacy user and I will never do any drugs again. The last time I did it was the one that ruined my life. I had insomnia for a month. I was put on Paxil and the sleeping became somewhat normal again. Now I am in a state of depersonalization and have the pressure in my sinus area and am always dizzy. I have trouble concentraing and feel tired all the time. This all started three months ago. Slowly week by week, my sleeping gets better, but the depersonalization, dizziness and weird bodily senations are still there. These were very minor during my insomnia days, but after Paxil they seem to be getting stronger. I have had, xrays, catscans and so forth and they all come back fine. My doctor told me that the pressure was due to allergies and I am now taking allergy medication, but after reading your posts, I wonder. Please keep posting and keep updating on your situations. It really helps to know that people are getting better. If anyone can shed new light or give any information, please post. Thanks.

[This message has been edited by lee26878 (edited 10-05-2001).]

Alex Shea 12-10-2001 12:06 PM

Recreationl drugs can bring on panic/anxiety attacks, even if you weren't aware that you ever suffered from them. I used to find that I'd get especially worked up, or have the worst panic attacks, when high.
I really suggest you see a doctor NOW and let him/her know what you are going through. You do not need to keep suffering.
Good luck!

nick.sandmen 01-13-2002 04:09 PM

Hi to everyone posting here.i have posted myself under 'Brain and nervous disorders-headaches,dizziness'.What seems to be apparent to me is that lots of you have frightingly similar symptoms,myself included(de-personalisation,tingling-buzzing sensations,feelings of ground movement when there is none/dizziness all in the head)and that after a battery of medical tests show nothing wrong.Read my post and you will know that for two and half years i have been searching for my answers too;finally i had to conclude it must be psycological.
That is the avenue i am following now...i think it would be wise to give this possibility as much credence as a pysical cause after what i have read and discussed with my psycologist/hypnotherapist.The mind is a powerful force which often operates in irrational ways after a traumatic set of events have occured.Taking drugs is undoubtly traumatic to the body and mind,it can also rip open wide your un-concious mind, during a trip or session,to whatever fears and concerns that you would conciously rationalise away in sobriety,in a way such as a horrific,sudden traumatic event(road accident,observing a suicide attempt,battle shock)would.Often we aren't even aware of what we sub-conciously think(by definition it below concious awareness)or do.Every wondered where irrational/non-sensical phobias or behaviours come from?My physical sensations could be coming from the fact that sub-conciously the life i was leading was in direct conflict to what would be considered safe behaviour,such as attemping to leap off a cliff,and as such the mind invents ways to prevent the continuance of such behaviour;even though you may conciously enjoy it.You may enjoy Base-jumping,doesn't mean to say you won't feel extreme fear in doing it-that is the sub-concious doing it's thing.People often have difficulty facing certain situations in life,that fear and it's response is learned....and it can be un-learned through investigation and psycological help;at least that's what i hope it is.I hope you may consider it,as hard to grasp or believe as it is,a worthwhile element in amongst the huge mess that we all seem to be in.It should be noted that there are no quick answers here, but if this proves fruitful to me you will be the first to know.....i wish you all health and happiness.Nick.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:20 PM.