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    Old 11-16-2008, 03:39 PM   #1
    ITH3
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    cognitive impairment--pls help

    Mergin, are you still here? If so, please let me know how you're doing.

     
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    Old 08-01-2011, 12:12 AM   #2
    capri79
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    Re: cognitive impairment--pls help

    ITH3, though i'm not Mergin i should say that your posts got my attention b/c of it's similarities w/ me.
    1. both attorneys
    2. both have dealt/been dealing with what i refer to as 'mental blindness', which (for me) completely renders me incapacitated as i'm unable to articulate, process info etc... to the extent of being unable to engage in a convo.
    3. i too have gone on the regimen of vyvance and klonopin. (dexedrine actually worked better for me).

    i want to compare your progress and shortcomings with mine in the hope that we can share notes of possible treatments that have helped. looking forward.

     
    Old 09-28-2011, 03:59 PM   #3
    thomas614
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    Re: cognitive impairment--pls help

    Very interested in doing the same with you guys. I actually saw ITH3's post today at work and the way he described things is almost word-for-word how I stated things to friends, co-workers, and docs.

    The 'on-set' for me was very acute, but idiopathic in nature. Granted I am not a lawyer, I have what seems like a 'similar' track in that I performed very well in high school and SAT, went to a great college, and now work for a top tier employer.

    All 'tests' are normal (blood work, MRI, CT, etc). Had a neuropsych exam which I hear the results from on Friday.

    Last edited by thomas614; 09-28-2011 at 05:13 PM.

     
    Old 09-28-2011, 05:10 PM   #4
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    Re: cognitive impairment--pls help

    Also, mentally (in my own head, hyper-analyzing), I have been through it all. When I first started noticing things, I seriously thought it was all stress/anxiety related because it was all so sporadic. It became more frequent and I noticed even stranger things like morning nausea, flashing lights, numbness in my left hand, and pain in my left shoulder. These more physical ailments convinced me to seek a doctor's advice. While I still have these other symptoms, the cognitive decline is by-far my most concerning / apparent. I was a very high performer at work and was pulled onto teams due to my ability and given responsibly way outside my pay-grade. I always took a great interest in teaching people as I have always for some reason been able to see things in a different way and explain them to other people so they understand them. I LOVED teaching. I never shied from a challenge and ran straight at things I wanted to learn and did not currently know. My attitude for things like that has totally changed. Instead I now fear 'work' or having to use my brain, due to uncertainty in its function at time.

    As I have seen others describe, the symptoms are very episodic / transient. Some days I feel fine; others terrible all day long. At times, I feel my cognition is still there, I just cannot grab it. Memory is bad. I look for words. I feel as if I am 'not there' in conversations (depersonalization, 'out-of-body' as I describe it). It does not seem to be brought on my stress as I can have it happen anytime (vacation, at work), but I do link it to having to think. Immediately when I try to access information or think critically, I notice it. That's why I too think the stress/anxiety/depression is a RESULT OF the impairment I am noticing.

    Other ways I have described it are:

    1) I feel like I am working on memory of things rather than processing them when I have to think critically - I have always prided myself on a Richard Feynman quote and tried to adhere to it in my daily life: "He knew the difference between knowing the name of something, and knowing something" (speaking of his father) - In the past I have never tried to memorize things because I think it clouds people's judgement of reality and stops progression of critical thought, now I find myself working off of memory and dogmatically applying concepts

    2) I cannot "see though things" - I have always been able to see 5-10 steps ahead in what I was trying to do (seeing though things) and the work to get there was always confirmation of what I already knew / thought - now I feel like everything is 6 feet in front of me

    With all of that said, I have had my fair share of "could it be this" moments.

    1) I have considered having and been tested for Lyme (though no recollection of a bite, no EM rash) - Test was negative, obviously all the hoop-la about false negatives had / has me in a tizzy

    2) Have I been exposed to some kind of neurotoxin - mold, etc.

    3) Do I have a CNS infection - I was very sick in April when the on-set started - bad upper respiratory infection that lasted for 2 weeks and lingered for a while - one like I never had before

    4) My new kick is do I have mercury poisoning from Amalgam fillings - I had two very large Amalgams placed in late April that cover ~60-80% of my rear upper 2nd molars

    When I think critically about all of this, it all comes back to being psychological as the most 'logical', less conspiratorial answer. That does not make me want to stop going down the other paths though since the on-set so closely followed other occurances (then again, I guess you could find anything like that when looking).

    As I have told my doctor, my biggest concerns are that this is in fact psychological or has some role it is and it is compounding on itself.

    Looking for an ANSWER!

    Last edited by thomas614; 09-28-2011 at 06:37 PM.

     
    Old 09-30-2011, 09:44 PM   #5
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    Re: cognitive impairment--pls help

    Hi Thomas614,
    You know this whole cog phenomenon is really wierd b/c a lot of our symptoms are EXACTLY the same but some i cannot relate to... which makes me confused as to whether or not we have the same ailment. For e.g.:

    SAME:
    - "At times, I feel my cognition is still there, I just cannot grab it. Memory is bad. I look for words. I feel as if I am 'not there' in conversations (depersonalization, 'out-of-body' as I describe it)."
    - "I feel like I am working on memory of things rather than processing them"
    - "I cannot "see though things" - I have always been able to see 5-10 steps ahead. now I feel like everything is 6 feet in front of me"

    DIFFERENT:
    - I noticed even stranger things like morning nausea, flashing lights, numbness in my left hand, and pain in my left shoulder.
    * I have no physical symptoms
    - symptoms are very episodic / transient.
    * with me it's pretty much constant unless I take stimulants (dexedrine)

    Here are some things that I've gathered from my experiences that may shed some light for you.

    - it is NOT psychological (if by that you meant that it's in your head or is somehow just a reflection of how you feel)... it's comletely biological. I've done a PET Scan and I know for a FACT that's it's purely organic (I can give you more supporting evidence if you request).
    * be careful of the trap of "psych therapy" b/c it has nothing to do with pscyh. The therapy in style right now is cognitive-behavioral therapy. The premise of this therapy is that all your problems are caused b/c of the way that you THINK (i.e. self-talk); so just change the way you think (i.e. just think "healthy and positivly") and your ailments will go away. Problem with this obviously is that you didn't "think" you way into cog. ailments. Matter of fact there are no precipatating factors at all - it just comes.
    Therapists find you as a ripe target b/c you don't have leverage since they can ultimately rely on the argument of "... well you obviously have a problem. Got a better solution? No? Then you aren't in a position to reject this therapy stuff". In the process you'll spend needless amounts of time, money and effort.

    - meds that have helped me are those that effect dopamine brain pathways. these include stimulants and as of recently (for me) MAO's (google it). I'm forever hunting down the bottom line culprit and would be happy to share with you what I got.

    take care,
    Joe

    Last edited by moderator2; 10-01-2011 at 05:07 AM.

     
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