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best friend diagnosed w/brain cancer


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Old 02-06-2017, 05:32 AM   #1
VeraD
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best friend diagnosed w/brain cancer

It's been just a little over two weeks since my best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 lung & brain cancer. I don't have much more information than that since she cut me off soon after finding out. I am told not to take it personally, but I fear that I have been robbed of the precious gift of time. I understand that every case is different, but if this is a common reaction, what are the odds that people will let their loved ones back in?

I noticed changes in her prior to her diagnosis and the biggest one is her loss of empathy. I couldn't believe some of the things that she said. It makes sense now. I'm also wondering if her brain tumor has affected her ability to have the same connections with people. I do not know the exact location of the tumor, other than it is on "the right side."

I know this isn't about me, but I am struggling terribly. We've always been by each others sides through the good and the ugly. In fact, it seems we've been a source of strength through more of "the ugly" than the good. I'm able to intellectualize this, but my heart is really not accepting her choice to shut me out.

 
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Old 02-06-2017, 04:58 PM   #2
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Re: best friend diagnosed w/brain cancer

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's very grim diagnosis and of course we KNOW that you know that it's not about you, but your feelings are totally understandable. I wish there was something I could say to give you hope that your friend will come around. I can't. You are already grieving a friendship that has meant a lot to you. You feel shut out and I get that. I think you have no choice but, out of love and respect for your friend, you accept her wishes (or the wishes of her illness....who knows how much of this is the brain cancer talking....) but stay in touch as best you can with the people close to her she cannot escape (is she married?). Send her a card or drop off a meal. Find out what she is capable of still enjoying and meet those needs in small ways. Does she still like music? Send a special soundtrack her family can play for her.
Is she still able to read and comprehend? Send a book you know she will like.
NONE of these things will give you back your friendship if your friend is unable to give of herself in this way. But when she does pass, you will know that even when she pushed you away, you kept on loving her. And that is what friendship is all about.

Last edited by sweetpotato13; 02-06-2017 at 04:59 PM.

 
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:06 PM   #3
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Re: best friend diagnosed w/brain cancer

Praying for your friend.

 
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