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    Old 02-22-2005, 11:11 AM   #1
    scaredone
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    pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    hi- this is long-- i'm sorry!

    in december, i had the leep conization done. i ended up having a few complications (mainly bleeding problems due to me not heeding the "don't lift heavy things" warning) but nothing too severe. i went back for my post-op check up- and the site was nearly healed, but the doctor said for me to wait another week before having sex(it had already been 5-6). the results of the cone had "unclear" margins- which the doctor explained to me as that the main portion of the sample got all of the worst cells- but that the outer cells had been slightly "changed"(dysplasia)- but not mutated to the point of calling them cancer cells. she said that my own immune system could probably fight them off-suggested a lot of vitamins to try to up my immune system (my immune system is so bad that i had broken out in shingles just before my operation-fortunately they were on my back so i wasn't in much danger of spreading them elsewhere), and set up my appointment for april. she said that there was no need for more surgery at this point- and i am satisfied with that.

    my problem is this- she and i had discussed my child-bearing possiblilities. she said that whether or not the cells would grow back would have to be seen in time. but- on more than one occasion- she said that "this would be a good year to start planning a family" if that were my intentions in life. she said the "lesser" cells may be fought off- but that they may not- and she didn't believe a second conization would be possible on me. she also stressed that she could not tell me how to live my life- but if i were her daughter- she would want me to think about it.

    i am old enough to have a baby(25 in may)- but financially- it wouldn't be convienent right now, i love children and i am very confident that i will be a good mother, but i just don't want my child to have to want for anything. i am in college to become a P.A.- and i still have a few years left! when i graduate, i will make great money, but things are really tight til then. i do have a boyfriend who i've been with for five years now, and i am pretty sure we are going to stay together for the long haul- and he is pretty confused by all of this too.

    i am worried that if i have a baby and the cells are killed off- and i am totally free of cervical nightmares for the rest of my life- then i will have put my baby and my boyfriend thru hardships that could've been avoided if i had waited until i was out of college. however- on the other hand- if i wait until i graduate to try to have a baby- and by that time- the cells have grown back and mutated to cancer level and my gyno/onco decides its time for a hysterectomy- then i will have lost my chance to have a baby of my own body.

    has anyone else been in this predicament (sp?) ??

    i really do want to adopt a child at some point- but i would like to have at least one baby- to know what its like to carry a child.

    has anyone else been in this situation- and does anyone know the chances of the cancer reoccuring from the leftover cells? the doctor didn't seem really clear on it(she said time will tell)- and maybe there just isn't a clear answer. this is such a major decision- i would like as many opinions as possible!!

    thanks- and sorry its so long!!

     
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    Old 02-22-2005, 12:08 PM   #2
    lobo1977
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    I will post more later when I have time but you might want to look into cryo - the freezing, my onc. said if the cells return after a leep or cone, they can often get the new ones away with freezing which is the least invasive procedure. - and can be done a few times w/o risk , it doesnt get the advanced cells but a 'few left' or beginnings of changes it does well on. good luck , and i would not rush into having kids, something you may regret, even with cones and leeps- there are MANY things dr's can do to help keep the pregnancy and work with the weakened cervix. Dont just think you wont be able to carry - your fertility is fine, its just the 'carrying' thats the issue, and there are tons of things that they can do to help (ex, cerclage- the stitch to make the cervix stronger etc)

     
    Old 02-22-2005, 07:09 PM   #3
    sam0831
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    hi, i am sure that you are both scared and confused here is my story I hope it helps. I was diag. with stage 1 cervical cancer in November 2003, I received a cone biopsy immediately. All the cancer was removed with clear margins. My oncologist wanted to give me a hystorectomy, but my gyn tried the cone. it was successful and in December 2003 I became pregnant. I had to have a cerclage to stitch my cervix close during my 20th week, I and I had preterm labor starting at 25 weeks, but thanks to a great ob and close monitoring - I delivered a beautiful and healthy daughter Aug 31, 2004. She was 4 weeks early but still weighed 7lbs 10 0z. I know you are thinking of rushing into having a child because you are scared - I felt the same way. only you can make that choice - but I will tell you this - I love my daughter and I feel extremely blessed to have her, but it is very difficult to raise a child and I have a husband who is supportive and no finacial worries - so make sure you are prepared and what ever decision you make will be the right one Good Luck

     
    Old 02-23-2005, 08:25 AM   #4
    scaredone
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    thanks guys!
    lobo:
    i think its not so much fertility as that she's thinking that, given my past medical history and my family medical history,i will end up having to have a hysterectomy to rid myself of this.

    sam:
    it is such a hard choice. my gyno is a gyno/onco so she is actually trying to wait until the last possible time to make any large decisions, but at the same time she doesn't want to endanger me. she did do my cone REALLY quickly in the time i saw her (i had missed a year + worth of appts when i moved here, by the time i saw her i was already stage 1a.she did my first initial pap- within 2 1/2 weeks the results were in and she had me back in before the week's end to do a biopsy, she got those results back pretty quick and scheduled my surger for 3 weeks after. it was only CIN I-II when i stopped seeing my other doctor.). the big thing that concerns me is that the margins weren't clear. she stressed to me that the margins had not mutated the way the rest had- but she also told me to consider starting my family. it may just be a precaution- but it is something i think i need to consider now. finances are really the only thing that has prevented us thus far. we have a good support system, and since brian works the opposite shift that i school in- we can "baby swap". plus- my school has an excellent daycare/preschool facility that is really inexpensive to students, and may not end up costing me anything. i'm trying to view this as positively as i can- because while i believe i'm emotionally ready- money is ALWAYS an issue. while i know i should graduate within the next two years- and i've even tried to plan out my conception to time birthing with my school breaks (i have weeks off between semesters)- its just making it those two or two and a half years. of course- i'll be pregnant 9-10 months of that- so i guess its really more like a year and a half that i'll have a baby before i graduate and can make good money. the idea still makes me nervous. of course- i guess everyone feels somewhat nervous at the idea of having a baby.

    i know the doctor can't "tell" me what to do- but i kinda wish she would. it might be easier just to be told. its the not knowing what's going to happen with my body that is so confusing. i would rather wait til i graduate, but do i chance it? do i risk this stuff coming back strong and lose that chance? i trust that my doctor will do everything she can before giving me a hysterectomy- and i know cervical cancer is a slow cancer (which is why i decided to stop going to appts for a year- bad choice).....i really want to have a baby. do i wait until we can be more comfortable with it? if we can't then- do i just have to look at it as "it just wasn't meant to be"? i'm afraid that if i wait-and then i end up having to have the hysterectomy- that i will not forgive myself. i'm afraid that i'll blame myself for not trying when i had a clear chance, and then i'll regret it. but i know what matters most is what would be best for the baby, while i know we'd never let the baby do without- do i put us all through living with less?

    AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GG

    see- i can argue both sides !! this is my problem!! i can't convince myself which way is the right way because i can talk myself into both!! *pounds head*

    upon talking to my boyfriend at length- i think we are going to try- but only at certain times (as i said- i am trying to time birth during one of my semester breaks-which will give me several weeks off without having to miss any classes)--and if it works within those times- then its good. and if it doesn't work within those times- then it wasn't meant to be at this time.

    am i totally selfish and immoral for trying to do this?

     
    Old 02-23-2005, 10:18 AM   #5
    scaredone
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    *sigh*

    you know- my mother has told me the same thing about how no one is ever 100% ready and you never have enough money/time/etc .... she thinks i should try now (i think she just wants more grand-babies lol )

    there are so many aspects to consider- maybe i'm just over-analyzing it...

    its so "unfair" because it takes the fun out of it. when you are having to work to have a baby, and all the time worrying about whether or not everything will be ok- it takes the romance and fun out of it. it would be nicer to just have all of this magically go away so i can get married and live for a while and just "pop up" pregnant- and be able to surprise my husband and make a big deal about it... we are going to have that taken away from us. its not to say we won't be happy- but it takes all the surprise out of it...

    i'm being a really big baby about this- there are so many people in worse positions than i am. i have a boyfriend who loves me and is in it for long term. i have a future with a great career soon. i have a roof over my head, and a good doctor whose willing to help me in whatever path i choose. i should count my blessings either way it goes... i have my life- i don't forsee that i will die from this. sometimes i think i'm making a bigger deal out of it than it all is. its just that kids have always been a big deal to me, and i want to know that i'm not going to inconvenience anyone with my decisions.

    lets all scream one good time:

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH


    that helps.

    thanks everyone! its good to have people to discuss this with who can understand what i'm going thru. other people sympathize- but they don't know what it feels like first hand. that's something i can get here- unbiased opinions and advice and reassurance

     
    Old 02-23-2005, 10:51 AM   #6
    Ivana
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    Scaredone...i don't think you're being a big baby about this at all! You are faced with some very big and difficult decisions and choices. Yes, there are others who are worse off than you but it doesn't minimize what you are going through personally. I'm also dealing with this horrible HPV thing and my husband and I got married in september 04 and we're both 32 and we would have tried for a baby already if it wasn't for this HPV crap and on top of it all everyone we know is pressuring us by asking all the time if i'm pregnant already. No one knows what we're going through and i don't believe they should...it's a personal issue but it makes the pressure so difficult. You're also under pressure to make a decision and i can empathize where you're coming from. HOWEVER, i have to stress this: YOUR HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT. Try to deal with one issue at a time. First your health! Then once you're healthy, whatever the circumstances are, start planning for a baby. I think you're putting the cart before the horse. What good is it if you get pregnant and God forbid during those months your situation changes and then you're struggling with cancer treatments when the baby arrives. Believe me, I've gone over this in my mind so many times and i know i have to delay pregnancy and i know that any addtional surgeries may play a role in my fertility/ability to maintain a pregnancy but like my husband said: I don't want to lose you and i don't want to be a single father, I want us to be a family the way i've always dreamed. That did it for me. Good luck and good reflecting!

    Last edited by Ivana; 02-23-2005 at 10:55 AM.

     
    Old 02-23-2005, 01:04 PM   #7
    Sugarhi16
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    I'm so sorry that all of you are facing these difficult decisions, and I wish you luck in having everything work out. I just wanted to lay another option out there for you. When I was discussing all of this with my Doctor he said that they would try to preserve my fertility. If they couldn't he said that they would harvest eggs and then when I was ready to have a child I could have someone else carry a baby that was genetically mine if I couldn't.

     
    Old 02-24-2005, 06:49 AM   #8
    sam0831
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    I have to say that I agree with Ivana and Melanie C's husband - your health is most important - i know that i was extremely lucky to be blessed with a healthy child, but my husband and oncologist both wanted me to put my health before a baby. I also eventually realized I did not want to give birth to a baby to not be around to see her raised. In addition, I was not prepared for the very difficult pregnancy that I had, you say you are planning around your school schedule, I too tried to plan around my busy season at work and then I ended up having a cerclage at 20 weeks due to the cone and being on bed rest after preterm labor at 25 weeks - i missed 3 1/2 months of income and had to go back to work when my baby was only 2 weeks old to get my clients caught up. It was a lot more difficult than i ever thought. but i would never have put off medical care for myself to risk my life or my childs life - and MelanieC one thing to think about is when you are already pregnant and diag. with cervical cancer many times the women is asked to abort or induced at a very early stage and there are a lot of health risk for babies who are born premature. So being diag while you are pregnant or ignoring your situation and getting preg any way is not a healthy decision just my opinion

     
    Old 02-24-2005, 10:17 AM   #9
    scaredone
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    spoke with my doctor yesterday

    thanks for all the advice guys.

    i spoke with my mother (who is a np) and then i spoke with my dr for a few minutes yesterday, to ask ?'s and voice my concerns.
    the doctor again told me that she cannot make this decision for me (which basically is what i wanted her to do). she said that she would do everything she could to preserve my ability to carry a child, and that hysterectomy would be the last option that she would try- BUT that she will not let me get to a point that my life is in danger. she said in my particular case- she didn't believe that another conization would be possible. she said that cryo may be an option if the leftover cells started taking over- but that she doubted that it would be effective. she said that we would figure something out at that point that i could be comfortable with, without risking the cells spreading to my uterus or pelvis. BUT she also said that should i decide that i don't want to wait and risk it, that she would monitor me especially closely throughout my pregnancy, and that she has had a several patients in my situation give birth to healthy, full term babies. but she also pointed out the problem of early miscarriage, and the likelihood that i will have to have the stitch put in to keep my cervix closed. she also assured me that should i get pregnant and have to go on bedrest- she would provide all needed documents to my school to allow me to complete my semeter at home (my school apparently has a way of dealing with this already worked out). AND that if i did end up having to have a hysterectomy-she would ALSO supply any medical documents needed to an adoption agency to state that i do not have the ability to bear children. basically- she more or less said whatever i did- she'd help me get the best care i could. BUUUUT- the last thing she stressed to me was that if there were any significant changes in my next visit (april) - if i was not already pregnant- she would "not let me" (not that she's going to physically stop me, but that she is going to strongly advise against it until we can get the cells under control). she says that the cells that i have leftover - at the last checkup- are not something to worry strongly about, but rather to be cautious of.

    so- with that information, i'm really pretty much back where i started.

    so my boyfriend and i discussed it, and we've decided to try- but that we would only try during certain times of the year(we are going to try the next time i'm ovulating- which will be in about 2 weeks, then if we don't concieve, we'll try in july-august, if it doesn't work then, we'll try again the following feb/mar...etc.) as long as my health allows. i've been taking prenat. vitamins since before my surgery, plus a few other suggested vitamins from the dr.(i don't know how much they're helping, but my hair looks lovely! ), so i guess we'll see what happens. i think we've definately decided that if anything changes in my health that we will stop indefinately, better to not have a baby than to have one that i'm not here to enjoy.

    WISH ME LUCK!

     
    Old 02-24-2005, 10:41 AM   #10
    Ivana
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    Re: spoke with my doctor yesterday

    scaredone...i'm so happy for you that you have taken control of this situation. You certainly seem to be thinking more clearly about all this. I'm glad you're putting your health first. I have a good feeling this will work out well for you. I wish you all the best on your path back to 100% health and of course, to the making of a beautiful little baby that you will be around for for a very long time. Don't hesitate to let us know what's happening as things develop...we're there for you

     
    Old 02-24-2005, 07:13 PM   #11
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    Scaredone....I am glad to hear that you have made a decision, you will feel so much better making a decision for yourself than having your doctor or anyone else deciding for you. I did not mean to seem negative before or scare you, I was just trying to give you the benefit of my experience - and an honest opinion. I wish you the best of luck and I am sure you will be an excellent mother

     
    Old 02-24-2005, 08:35 PM   #12
    scaredone
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    Re: pregnancy post leep/cone please read!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sam0831
    I did not mean to seem negative before or scare you, I was just trying to give you the benefit of my experience - and an honest opinion.

    LOL- you didn't seem negative at all, and i wanted honest opinions and advice that's why i came here as opposed to just talking to my friends at home. i needed opinions from people who KNEW what i was going thru.

    i realized at some point that this wasn't a decision that i could/should make alone- i had to include my boyfriend/future husband- because it is his life that i'm affecting too. and i knew after reading everyone's posts that i needed to talk to my doctor, to make sure that i am "safe enough" to do this. i also made sure that if i were to have a regrowth spurt AFTER i got pregnant that it would be safe enough to continue with my pregnancy- which the doctor said she believed it would be- though if i ended up having the cells mutate further BEFORE i got pregnant- she would then advise me not to try to concieve.

    and it was YOUR post that made me consider having to go on bedrest (a point i had not put much thought into)- i had to make sure i could be covered in school if that happened. if you hadn't brought that up- i might not have been prepared for that if it happened.

    thanks everyone for your support and advice!

     
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