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Is my step-dad going to die?

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Old 03-17-2011, 10:40 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Jenny0898 HB User
Is my step-dad going to die?

Hi step-dad has kidney cancer, only showed symptoms six weeks ago- blood in urine etc. Since then he was in a lot of pain, could only sleep sitting up, but doctors said they were going to operate today and remove the kidney. But, on Monday he had a seizure & was rushed to hospital, he is still there and his bloods are all over the place. He had another seizure yesterday, plus doctors cancelled the op to remove the kidney saying he is too ill. Now the awful thing is, My mum won't ask doctors what stage it is at or for a prognosis but because neither her OR my step-dad want to know! I understand how terrified they must be but today she had to rush to the hospital cause he was freaking out about something. Doctors did an x-ray and what she describes as a 'small op' to his kidney. To me this sounds like they are working out if the cancer has spread? Maybe he freaked out because they said it has? I understand they just need to cling on to this denial as a coping mechanism but I am freaking out and so is my sister cause we have no idea if he's going to die or what. He's 68 and very unhealthy- smokes up to 60 cigs a day usually. Going on these few facts I'd like to know honestly what might be going on. Does it sound like his chances of survival are slim? I can deal with speculative answers, I know you can't say for sure from a few symptoms I have posted on the net. But ANY opinion would be great as then i can make a plan what to do next. The fact they won't talk to us about it says to me they've been told it's fatal and my mum doesn't want us to worry about her. Thanks in advance! How long might he have if he's too ill even for them to remove the kidney? My mum mentioned chemo but i have read that doesn't work well on kidney cancer. Also, I think it must be quite advanced as he's one of those sorts who won't go to the doctor until he's in agony.

Last edited by Jenny0898; 03-17-2011 at 10:44 AM.

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Old 03-18-2011, 05:13 AM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Jenny0898 HB User
Re: Is my step-dad going to die?

My mum finally told us the cancer has spread to his brain and he is refusing all treatment...

I wish lots of positive outcomes to all of you battling this terrible disease

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JJ (04-02-2011)
Old 04-02-2011, 01:42 PM   #3
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LLee4050 HB User
Re: Is my step-dad going to die?

I am so very sorry to hear this news and understand the impact it has on you and your family. You will remain in thoughts and prayers.

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Jenny0898 (04-02-2011)
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Jenny0898 (04-02-2011)
Old 04-02-2011, 03:54 PM   #4
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Re: Is my step-dad going to die?

Jenny....My prayers to you and the family. My neighbor just went through this for almost 9 months, even though they said maybe he had 2 weeks. Yes he did pass 2 weeks ago. Only thing you can do is be VERY supportive of your mom and step-dad as I'm sure they are a bundle of nerves and scared...

Glad your mom did tell you but I do understand them not saying anything as many parents do not wish to upset their children, plus it could have been a small case of denial. For whatever time he has left, just try and make it as memorable as possible.

My very best of wishes and prayers to all of you...JJ
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Last edited by JJ; 04-02-2011 at 03:56 PM.

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