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Old 12-04-2003, 02:39 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: San Francisco, Ca
Posts: 68
uglynow HB User
Unhappy Mom-in-law

I just wanted to vent a bit. Last October (2002) My dear boyfriend's mom was diagnosed with phallopian tube cancer and lung cancer - stage 6 (I guess that's the last stage). We immediately started chemo sessions (but no radiation) Unfortunately as much as she would say "I'll do anything they say to beat this" she was extremely depressed, didn't want to do anything, cried all day and asked why, why me, what did I do to deserve this, etc..
After the 3rd chemo session, we found out the cancer had spread, which is when they asked about radiation. I can't help but wonder if it would've actually helped. I constantly wonder, if we should've sent her off to radiation. She was already in constant pain and taking 3 very strong pain killers along with nausea medicine, and all sorts of vitamins, but she was constantly vomiting. We were afraid of the radiation and how much more pain it would cause her, and as it was SO advanced it was decided to let her enjoy her last days without any more hellish trips to the hospital (she didn't want to go anymore and would cry each time we had to take her). She went on hospice care in December. I try not to think, but I can't help and wonder if we made the right decision, she passed in March, one week after her birthday. And I wonder if we should've kept her in the hospital and keep trying all these harsh treatments, instead of giving her an eased goodbye.
Sorry for the length, it's just something that has been twirling in my head since she went. And I can't stress enough, to keep a positive outlook, the patient as well as the family, I know it sounds crazy, but I saw first hand how quickly one can deteriorate if you give up and sulk. It's an awful monster and I can't believe there isn't a solid cure yet.
I send good healing vibes and strength to all of you who are going through this.
take care.

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