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My father passed...

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Old 06-02-2004, 08:59 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 18
My father passed...

I just wanted to update all of you that my dad passed away on May 16th. He was a six year survivor with just one lung lost due to cancer. He bet the odds. This past Feb he was short of breadth and admitted to the hospital for pneumonia, STAFF infection and blood infection. He was put on IV antibiotics, just never got better. The Ct scan show a spot on the top of his remaining lung. Doctors felt it was scar tissue, or pneumonia pockets. He had 2 bronsc. scopes. the first showed no tumors, the second, showed suspicious cells. Then blood work showed CEA level to be 53.1. They were sure his lung cancer was back. His breathing was the problem he was on oxygen all the time and that did not even help him. He was told that he was terminal and he never told us. He must of wanted to spare us. He began taking Iressa 3 weeks before he passed away. Im not sure if the pill just made the tumors grow so fast. I will never know. I live 2 hours from my parents and the last week, my mom noticed a change in him. He was weak, felt bloated in the stomach, not really hungry at all. I still managed to talk to him a few times a week that last week. I came home on Saturday morning like I have been doing since Feb. I saw the change in my dad, he was weak, not eating, just very little food, and very little drinking. We did talk and watched the Yankee game and had a good day. That night, we sat at the dinner table and he could not eat and I said, ok dad that alright. He could not balance his arms at all, I guess it was the weakness. That night into Sunday he started to feel cold and clammy, then hot. We were up all night with him, he was talking about his old boss, going to work, family and friends. I was a bit scared why he was saying this but Hospice informed me this was normal and he was crossing over. He asked me to hold his hand, I did. We finally took him to the Er in the morning. His oxygen level was 66. They took a chest x-ray and it was bad, very bad. He was in and out at the hosp and was aware that all the family was there with him. He talked to me my mom and my brother. He kept pulling off his oxygen, he said he did not want it. We then made the decision to take dad to a Hospice facility. They gave him a shot at the Er and then we went there. He never really awoke from the shot. It was adavan or something like that. He was breathing with oxygen, resting peacefully. Our priest came and gave my dad the last rites, his grey skin coloring turned rosey pink and he just stopped breathing slowly. It was the most peaceful thing i have ever seen. My dad was lucky not to suffer form lung cancer. I know its hard for some people and the family. Just don't be afraid of anything. I was a basket case many months ago, but now im so at peace knowing hes ok now. No more shortness of breadth. I will miss our phone conversations, I will miss his smile, his laughter, just everything about him. He was a dear husband and the best dad. I just want to share this with all of you who may feel alone and empty. Im here to chat if you would like too. Thank you all.

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Old 06-02-2004, 10:12 AM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ballston Spa, NY USA
Posts: 66
mephoto HB User
Re: My father passed...

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, it seems you and your dad were very close. As I read your story it brought back so many memories for me. My dad passed away 6 months ago on Thanksgiving morning. I could have written the story myself. As sad as it was, I was so thankful I was there with him when he passed. It's strange to say but it was a beautiful moment but yet the saddest moment ever in my life. I am so glad he is at peace now and he doesn't hurt anymore, but boy is it still hard for me. The more time that goes by the more I miss him. The more I look at my mom, the more I miss him because I know she is hurting so much. Hopefully time will heal this hurt and pain a bit.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this diffucult time.

Old 06-04-2004, 07:09 AM   #3
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 18
Re: My father passed...

Thanks Medphoto, its not even a month for me. With time we will heal. Its nice to know that we here can comfort one another. I do miss my dad more than life, but im so greatfull to god that he did not suffer one day. He is so in my heart everyday, and Im sure your dad is with you also. Its a good feeling.

Old 06-04-2004, 07:22 AM   #4
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 123
Gatormom HB User
Re: My father passed...

DAA, my sympathy on your loss. My father died nearly 13 years ago, and your story still brought back so many memories of that time. How lucky your father was to have been loved so much, and even to have been watching a baseball game and spending time with his family right until the end. Thanks for sharing, and may smiles and warm memories replace the tears.

Old 06-08-2004, 12:31 AM   #5
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3
jelly97 HB User
Re: My father passed...

So sorry to hear about your loss, DAA. I lost my dad to heart disease 2.5 years ago and I still miss him very much. I think I'll never truly recover from it, although I do believe he's in a better place. I tried not to think about him for those 2 years...because I know thinking about him will make me miss him like crazy.

My mom was very strong when he passed away, telling me she wanted to spend more time with me and my new-born. Anyway, she really missed him though, since they've been married for 62 years(!) Unfortunately, she's been diagnosed with late stage lung cancer in May.

I think everyone in the family misses my dad, my husband lost his father last year and he now understands what I went thru and is still going thru. A friend of mine gave me a really good little booklet about Grief Therapy (by Karen Katafiasz)'s a small little book that has some really good, comforting words. My friend lost her dad when she was still in college, so she's been thru the same thing.

I think I have a very strong father-daughter bond with my dad, and seeing my daughter developing that bond with my husband is so dear and amazing to me. I can see that kind of love being passed from generation to generation.

My daughter got my dad's eyebrow, everytime I look at her, I see my dad in her. Somehow, I think I've kept my dad alive in memories and also in people around me. I think that gives me some comfort..I hope it'll do the same for you.

Old 06-10-2004, 06:04 AM   #6
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 18
Re: My father passed...

Hi Jelly,
thanks for the kind words. My father and I had such a close relationship. I miss him so much. It will be a month on the 16th. It all just happend so fast. The fact that he did not suffer one bit sort of makes me feel better. I think of him daily, all I can do is smile when I think of him. This board has been so helpfull for me. I pray for everyone and there families for strength to battle this disease.

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