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Cancer: Lung Message Board

My sister has only weeks

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Old 03-09-2003, 06:45 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 29
babbles HB User
Unhappy My sister has only weeks

My sister was sent home Thursday and we thought she was going to get better. I sent a message under Good News!! Now she is back in the hospital in ICU and the doctor said she has only weeks to maybe a month or two. I am so scared!! We just told her and she is so upset. Her kids don't know yet. Her husband is having a hard time holding on and my Dad won't talk to anybody. She wants to die at home but we are not so sure with the kids that would be a good idea. What should we do? We want to honor her wishes but, the kids. Can anybody give me words of wisdom to get the kids and my dad through this?

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Old 03-09-2003, 07:54 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 93
NancyEllen HB User

Babbles, I don't know what to say about your sister's children. I am just very sad about your sister. I have been crying since I read your post and Tinkerbell's post. Please keep in touch.


Old 03-10-2003, 07:28 AM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 158
LeisaH HB UserLeisaH HB User

Babbles.....Since your sister is this close, She will have a counsellor assigned to her, either through the hospital or through the hospice. Just ask one of the nurses and they can help you. Please find and read the book "final Gifts" It is a great help and resource.

As for passing at home, why do you not think that is a good idea? My children are 11 and 5 years old. Their Grannie was in the hospice, they decided when not to visit anymore, although I did force them to visit once more, I kinda regret that now. Kids are much stronger then we give them credit for. I would not be surprised if her children already knew. Maybe ask them for suggestions.... let them have an opinion. They may ask things like if mom comes home, do we have to visit? If mom comes home, will she bake cookies.... you could say no, but I will bake you cookies. If you can maybe get her on video, this is one thing I wished I had done. I have her voice on tape from the answering machine.

Remember everyone deals with grief in different ways.... Dad continued to work until the last week of mom's life, because he knew that is what she wanted. My sister worked up until then too. I travelled much during that time, but still tried to continue summer life for my kids. My husband worked up until two days before the funeral. We were in different provinces and he came down with my aunt.

But one thing Babbles, remember to look after yourself too. I forgot, and I paid the price healthwise.

Keep on posting, you and your family are in my thoughts

Old 03-10-2003, 02:54 PM   #4
Mary Grant
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 90
Mary Grant HB User

Babbles, I don't have anything to add to the good advice already given. I just want you to know I'm thinking about you.


Old 03-10-2003, 04:32 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: scotland
Posts: 67
littletinkerbell HB User

hi babbles it's tinkerbell here once again I can't stop thinking about your family especially your sister please keep your strength up as you will need it because you will become mentally exhausted I know your sister wants to go home that was my dad's only wish unfortunately he was to sick to make it home I would loved to have given him his wish we would have been given every support available but it was not to be....As for your sister having children in my opinion and it's only my opinion they are stronger than you think and every moment they can be all be together will be ever so precious wether that happens in the hospital or at home just spend as much time together and please do not waste your quality time with her, fearing the future because it's not to be feared just enjoy what time is left......I pray each night for your family to get through this with courage....mags...

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