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mom's cancer journey-it's over

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Old 10-01-2003, 01:12 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 6
jbart HB User
Post mom's cancer journey-it's over

our journey:
9-11-01 Mom (divorced, age 67)is disgnosed with nonsmall cell adenocarcinoma. In the lung and lining, The chemo begins soon, it gave her blood clots but reduced the cancer. Then in spring 2001 April or May she goes on Irressa. no side effects.

July 2002- she seems unwell and goes to doctor. August - seems like she had a stroke....she was acting drunk.

8-02 mom's lung cancer spread to the brain and growing in lung again. She's a fighter. whole head rediation + chemo again.

12-02 mom is so weak she can hardly be out of bed.

1-03-6-03 mom is very weak in bed most of the time. We are wearing ourselves out caring for her and overseeing the care when we're not there. We live in the same time but have to work. (sinceI am a techer I can spend a ot of time with her in the summer)
Mom goes off chemo in March to spend time at my brothers and get stronger for a visit form other relatives. She does not get stronger. In June she undergoes aggressive rehab, can walk again with a walker for short distances. Toilets are a problem. Decadron has weakened her.
8-03 mom's cancer in her liver, hospice called -she was given weeks or months.

9-30-03- mom died. She has grown mome and more 8:30 she was tlaking to an aide. when they returned at 9:00 to discuss breakfast she was gone. She died alone.

In all I am glad the liver cancer rather than the brain cancer is what took her. We could talk right to the end. There was quite a loss of dignity however when she needed diapers and could do nothing for herself.
Sometimes healing is into death rather than back into life. Our spiritual beliefs carry us now.

thank you for your time I will be happy to offer advice to thoose who may need it based on our experience.

appreciate each healthy day you have and carpe diem!


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Old 10-01-2003, 02:51 AM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: United Kin
Posts: 127
ann203 HB User

Both you and your mother have been very brave. It breaks my heart to read some of these messages, but you need to know that there are so many people here who care about what you are going through. Your mum is not in pain any more and I will pray for you both, God Bless.

Old 10-01-2003, 07:12 AM   #3
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Posts: 23
trinker HB User

My heart is breaking for you with the loss of your mom. There really isn't much that a person can say to you at a time like this. Hopefully you have good memories of before she got sick. You take care and my thoughts and prays are with you.

Old 10-01-2003, 09:31 AM   #4
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 108
~~NatureLovers~~ HB User

What a strong , couragous lady your mom is.. You are an image of what she was capable of instilling. You and your family are strong as well. To see your mom travel such a road of pain and endurance, mustve taken its toll. Know she is in such a peaceful state, no more pain, and heaven is PURE. She now will watch over your every step in life. She will travel your lifes journey with you each day. May God Bless You and Yours.

Old 10-01-2003, 03:53 PM   #5
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Location: ypsilanti, mi, usa
Posts: 20
clc313 HB User

wow.......... i dont know what to say about this, but my prayers are with u and your family in this sad time! my mom is going through this right now. except hers is small cell lung cancer but it has, like your mom, spread to her brain and liver. (also stomach) God everyday seems like a bad dream. your mother sounds like a fighter and fought this dreadful disease till the very end. have strength in God and know she is in a better place even though it might seem like the better place is here with u.

God bless!


Old 10-02-2003, 06:56 PM   #6
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 6
jbart HB User

Thanks to all who have responded and for your prayers.

My last words to mom were that I was hoping she would live as peaceful and contented and painfree as possible to her end and that I loved her very much.

She didn't want to sign the DNR form and so we agreed to pray about it and she died in the morning before we spoke again.

There were still things I was planning to tell her. Conversations to be had. I encourage everyone to say whatever it is you need to say before it is too late. I wanted to thank her for some things and now I cannot.
At least we were clear on love.

Old 10-03-2003, 07:14 AM   #7
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: memphis, tn, usa
Posts: 70
hope1220 HB User

You are in my prayers I too have lost my mom (and Dad within 15 days of each other). When my dad was close to dying it came upon us so fast I felt the same way you do-- I felt that there were so many things I should have said and my mom said to me "don't be silly-- is there anything that your sons should say to you- if you were about to leave them forever? Anything other than they love you?"-- Mom was very weak herself and dying but those were a few of the most treasured words she had ever spoken to me. It reminded me that anything left unsaid would have only made ME feel better - because my dad already knew all he cared to know-- that his kids loved him and knew that he loved us. I know how great your pain is believe me, I know but don't beat yourself up for things unsaid or things not done. The most important words were said. Take care-- Hope B. Memphis, Tn.

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