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Cancer: Lung Message Board

end stage journey

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Old 09-27-2003, 03:53 PM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 6
jbart HB User
Post end stage journey


I think my mom may be in her final phase of her journey battling this lung cancer. It is so scary and upsetting to watch her loose her capacities. Now it seems she can no longer stand or walk. I want to know what we may expect...
Mom, 69, has lung cancer that, after a year, went to her brain, and a year later went to her liver. Last year, when it went to her brain, she had whole head radiation for a month and was on Decadron for several months following. This made her very weak and has severally reduced the quality of her life, although it is understood it was necessary to reduce swelling in the brain. Now she is just about bedridden. Each week she gets much weaker and now her legs seem useless.
She has been in an assisted living facility for the last few months and this care is supplemented with care from me, my sister, and a personal caregiver. I have been bringing her to my home and on outings but it has come to where I can't really get her on and off the modified toilet or in and out of bed and the trips out of the facility are exhausting her. Her spirit is willing but her body is loosing groud fast. It is so sad. Now they are talking about a catheter which I am sure she will hate...but the aides at the facility can't move her. I feel pretty helpless. We have a hospice team but the nurse says mom seems 'fine' to her.

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Old 09-27-2003, 05:42 PM   #2
Nancy Ellen
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 10
Nancy Ellen HB User

I am so sorry about your Mom. That is too young to die. If you have the feeling she is leaving you, she is. I knew my father was leaving and he did. He got up and walked away and left his body on the bathroom floor. It was amazing.

Hospice kept trying to presribe different drugs but never said a word that he was leaving us. But I knew. Tell family members and give her a big hug.


Old 10-07-2003, 10:32 AM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: natchitoches, louisiana, usa
Posts: 7
dovee47 HB User

Nancy, I am sorry to hear about your mother's problems, and I understand how you have a need to prepare yourself for her death. There is actually no way to know for certain when she will die. Hospice staff should be able to give you information on signs of approaching death. Having a catherter really isn't such a terrible thing. It does keep the individual from wetting themselves, which causes loss of dignity. My advise to you would be to educate yourself on pain management, and to create a good, strong support system for yourself. If your mother appears to be in pain, be very assertive in asking that her medication be either changed or increased. You want to keep her as comfortable as possible. You will be in my prayers.

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