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Those of you that have lost loved ones... what does this mean?

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Old 10-09-2003, 11:40 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Nashville, TN, USA
Posts: 89
CuteSouthernGrl HB User
Post Those of you that have lost loved ones... what does this mean?

I posted yesterday about my grandmother dying of lung cancer. I just now called to check on her and my dad said she is acting different. He said she was talking like she was a kid. I don't know if he meant she is talking in a kid voice or if she is talking about when she was a kid. I couldn't talk to him long b/c he was getting her medicine for her. She is in a hospital bed in her home. She can't walk. He raises the bed up so she is sitting upright to take her medicine. I could hear her in the background saying help me up. She said that over and over and my dad kept telling her that she is up. He said she wanted to stand up. He had to get off the phone with me to help her. What does this mean? Why is she like this? For those of you who have lost loved ones, what happened right before they died? Is this a sign or what? It really scares me, I don't understand.

[This message has been edited by CuteSouthernGrl (edited 10-09-2003).]

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Old 10-09-2003, 12:42 PM   #2
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Have the doctors indicated if the cancer has spread to her brain? My grandfather's did & he began exhibiting characteristics that you are mentioning - in fact he thought I was his little sister & was telling me to starting walking to school or I'd be late. He also became irrational, wanting to do things that he couldn't (drive to the store to by some beer). He'd say he was in pain but unable to tell us where the pain was. It was very sad, the only comfort I had was the day he finally went Home and his suffering was gone. This was about 6 weeks after he started talking like that. That's my opinion, doesn't mean this is what is happening to your grandmother - just sounds quite a bit like granddad. I'm sorry you & your family are going thru this. You have my prayers...

[This message has been edited by jconstantino (edited 10-09-2003).]

Old 10-10-2003, 06:55 AM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: memphis, tn, usa
Posts: 70
hope1220 HB User

So sorry for what you are having to go through, it is hard. My mom did sort of the same thing when she was dying. At the time it was heartbreaking and scary --now as I think back it was a good time for her.

My mom asked where "mom" was - meaning her mother who has been dead since 1964. Then she was telling me to go fix "daddy" some breakfast so when he came in from milking the cow it would be waiting for him-- she was talking about her dad who died in 1970 and I think she thought I was one of her sisters.

Then later she was awake and mumbling but we could no longer get her to respond to us - she just stared into space and mumbled. She smiled and said "oh me that is an old timey picture isn't it" and every once in a while she would smile or kind of laugh. I like to think that maybe that she was sort of "recalling" her life so to speak. Then she spoke of seeing my nephew ahead (he was killed in a car wreck in 2001) then called my dad's name and said "you look so handsome!" (my dad had only died 15 days earlier also from the same type of cancer) and after she told my dad he looked handsome she told him in a very stern voice "I am NOT going back. I have to be there on time." She was quiet from then on-- I think she was gone at that point but her body continued to breathe for about 20-30 more minutes and then stopped.

Someone on this board once posted something that will stay with me forever. I read it in the beginning of my journey with all of this and at the time I thought it to be a poetic statement but couldn't really relate to it. Now I definitely relate and completely agree with it.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~
In the beginning
we wished for a mistake or a misdiagnosis.

Later we wished
for remission or a miracle

And then after that
we just wished for peace

And finally that is what we got-- peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sorry I can't remember who posted that but it definitely speaks of truth -- in the end you and your family and especially your sweet grandma will have peace. I have you on my prayer list. Hope B.

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