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Cancer: Lung Message Board

I need some hope from someone,

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Old 10-18-2005, 07:03 PM   #1
melissa edwards
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2
melissa edwards HB User
I need some hope from someone,

Not sure if anyone is familiar with my previous post about my mom's condition. If not, her NSCLC is located near her left clavicle, & all wrapped around the nerves & vessels there. We were told it is a met. from her left breast, which still makes no sense to me, how does breast cancer turn into NSCLC in a person who has been a NON-SMOKER all her life? I'm very frustrated. We got the MRI results from yesterday back & the cardiothoracic surgeons say they can not operate, that it is too involved & would cause her more problems. However they are having a neurosurgeon look at the MRI also to see if they can remove any part of it affecting the nerves. Her onc. says they will move on to a 3rd type of chemo. now & see if that will help at all. She's had adriamycin/cytoxin and carboplatin/taxol, but I guess this thing has not responded like they thought it would.

My question is much of a chance does she really have without surgery to remove all or at least part of the cancer? Everything I read makes it sound like she doesn't have much of a chance of even getting near remission without surgery.

Should I be thinking I'm going to lose my mother soon? Should I try to wrap my mind around that? Because I can't. She's only 51. She & my dad have been together for 33 years. He's trying so hard to be strong, but I can tell this is killing him. I can't imagine him without her, or her without him. I'm 31 & have 2 kids, my son is 4 years & my daughter is only 4 months. My husband is wonderful & is trying his best to help me. But I'm finding myself very angry inside, which no one knows. I want my mom to be in my life long enough to see my kids grow up. And even longer than that. I feel like such a kid saying this, but it's just not fair. All my grandparents lived into their 70's & 80's, 2 of which are still alive, & they all smoked. My mother-in-law is 67 and smoked, yet she's in perfect health also. My father-in-law has been a wine & scotch drinker every day for who knows how long, at least as long as I've been with my husband (12 years), yet he's in perfect health also at 68. And that's just a few that I've been pondering, asking myself how the heck have they all gotten away with all that? Why is my poor mother suffering like this when she never abused her body a day in her life?

I'm sorry, I'm just so full of anger & sadness right now, I feel like it could completely swallow me. And please, no offense to any smokers here, that's not my intent at all.

Can anyone give me a glimmer of hope?

Thanks, Melissa

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Old 10-18-2005, 09:01 PM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 59
Darlene-CA HB User
Re: I need some hope from someone,

Hi...I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you, as my Mom is still in the process of an absolute diagnoses, (which I'm praying won't happen)therefore, I'm very uneducated about all of this. I just wanted to let you know someone is thinking of you and I can appreciate all of your feelings. Life doesn't seem fair, that is so true. Some people live and abuse their entire lives without consequence, others have to suffer.....why??? My Mom is only 63, she is a long time smoker. It's weird though, because I don't blame her, I feel so sorry for her and for all those addicted to nicotine. I don't smoke, but have heard that it is such a horrible addiction. I hope there is someone here who can give you some words of encouragment....
Take care

Old 10-20-2005, 09:50 PM   #3
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 24
Songdiva HB User
Re: I need some hope from someone,

Well, as you know, you've probably been reading in the news lately that you don't necessarily have to be a smoker in order to get lung cancer. It's more rare, but not impossible. Look at Dana Reeves.

One thing that it could be is your mother may have been exposed to a lot of second hand smoke...that's a possibility. Another possibility is that it just spread from her therefore, it's actually a secondary lung cancer originating from the breast. Unfortunately, cancer can spread anywhere.

Cancer is not fair to ANYONE, smoker or not. I'm a little sensitive about this issue because we are going through the possible diagnosis stage with my Mom right now, and yes she USED to smoke. She quit 10 years ago though.

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