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Cancer: Lung Message Board

Diagnosis Reaction

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Old 01-28-2007, 02:55 PM   #1
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Diagnosis Reaction

This may be very strange and not very important in the big picture but can anyone re-tell what their actual reaction was when the doctor told them the awful news? I'm getting a little tired of doctors acting like I'm overly worried or anxious for my boyfriend when I'm not really saying or doing anything unusual--just asking numerous questions which they all keep saying I can do. Am I to assume that everyone takes this news very, very calmly and just nods their head as if they were being told they have a wart on their toe? I will never forget after my mother had a foot and a half of colon removed she asked the doctor what the biopsy report was. Was it malignant? He actually asked her if she had been worried about that. No, just major surgery but only mildly interested in if it was necessary or not. Where are their heads?

I am not the type to tear up but I don't want to have to work at hiding my true feelings just so these guys will think I'm tough.

I would just be interested if anyone feels so inclined to remember that awful moment in time. Also was it on the phone or in the office?

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Old 01-28-2007, 05:55 PM   #2
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Re: Diagnosis Reaction

Doesn't seem over the top to me. It seems all perfectly in line with the circumstances. It's become crystal clear to me that I am NOT the kind of person who can see the good in everything. I have to always think of the absolute worst and then work back from there. When I had to take care of each of my parents dying of cancer by myself I handled it just fine--sad and very, very tired but fine. This time, however, with my boyfriend, I am a nut case because a. I've seen this all before and b. I am totally alone. Family is everything but when you don't have anyone left, it's extremely difficult to work up the spirit. Someone always has to be the last one standing. So I rely on "my friends in the box" here.

Thanks so much for sharing, Lou.

Old 01-28-2007, 06:08 PM   #3
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Re: Diagnosis Reaction

bovine- im sorry so much pain has happened in your life recently. i know it doesn't seem far and i can't tell you it is. im sure every one reacts to the inform differently and i dont know if there is a right or wrong way. we are who we are.
many doctors lack the bedside manner needed to comfort patients and families and that is too bad. because it is a shocking moment .
mine first came 10 years ago i was going thru a divorce and had 2 very small girls. the originally told me from the surgery i had that it was benign(the tumor from my saliva gland that they had removed.)so i was ready to home from the hospital the next when the doc came in to tell me after further testing it was shown to be cancer. we i dont think i could even speak i was truly in schock. of course the first thing i thought of was my girls. the doc wa snice and calm and not mean but he simmply patted my shoulder and said he would be back. obviously i called in my family for the support in needed. so fast forward to 2006 and i get the news again only this time it has metastisized to my lungs. i think i was more prepared my doctor was really good and most have been this time around. im not angry im just doing what i have to stay around as long as possible. im sorry this had been so rough for you and you are not getting the treatment from the doctors that you need.
i wouldnt worry what they thin of you reactions just focus on your boyfriend and getting him better. good luck to both of you..........melissa

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