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Cancer: Lung Message Board

My dad lost his fight

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Old 02-15-2007, 05:01 AM   #1
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Hep HB User
My dad lost his fight

I only posted once in a while, but wanted to let everyone know that my dad lost his battle with Non Small Cell LC last Monday, February 5. My dad was a typical 1950's generation guy. Loved the oldies. Never comfortable to show his emotions. My dad and mom would have been married 43 years this Tuesday. Things were tough the last 6 months and the disease not only ate away his body, but his mind as well. Being such a "tough guy" it was hard for him to accept people caring for him and his frustration came out in anger. We realize this was not my dad's personality and that he did not mean the things he was saying and doing. My dad was a good man and a quiet man all the years I grew up and that is how we will honor him while he is gone.

Good luck to everyone battling this horrid disease. I will be checking the board to see how everyone is doing. I have become attached to everyone's life stories.

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Old 02-15-2007, 11:19 AM   #2
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Kimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB User
Re: My dad lost his fight

Hi Hep,
So sorry to hear your dad lost his fight! As I read your posting the tears flowed for your loss and the upcoming 1 year anniversary of my dad's death and when you mentioned about your paren'ts anniversary being their 43rd...that was the same as with my parents! I understand what you are saying about the last 6 months being tough as I see my own husband changing slowly and it is just not him. You have been such a comfort to many on this posting board...thanks. I hope you can be of some comfort to your mom as I am sure she will need you, but if it makes you feel any better(and I do know everyone is different) my mom is doing great. (other than the crying phone call yesterday since she was thinking about my dad on Valentine's Day and his upcoming one year on Feb. 18th) We will always miss our parents and grandparents as they pass on but can keep their memory alive with our kids/families as the years pass. Oh, how my kids love hearing stories about their grandparents!

Old 02-15-2007, 03:26 PM   #3
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Janmarie2 HB User
Re: My dad lost his fight

Hep, Sorry to hear about your dad, you have my deepest sympathy. After going through my mom's battle and while she did not seem to have alot of anger issues she too changed towards the end and by the time she died she was not the same woman I remember as my mom. I have come to believe that perhaps those changes are Gods way of weaning us from our loved one so that by the time of the actual physical death we have already in a way said goodbye and are more accepting of the physical death.

I will continue to send healing thoughts for you , your mom and the rest of the family.And you are right you become attached to people's stories after having shared such an important part of life with them. Take care and God Bless, JanMarie

Last edited by Janmarie2; 02-15-2007 at 03:27 PM.

Old 02-16-2007, 11:03 AM   #4
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Hep HB User
Re: My dad lost his fight

Thank you Ladies.... You both have been so inspirational to me as we fought our battle. One thing we can all unfortunately agree with is that we are taught lessons with cancer that we never planned on learning.

Peace to you both

Old 02-16-2007, 05:58 PM   #5
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Location: Evansville IN
Posts: 504
rockie HB User
Re: My dad lost his fight

Hep, I breezed through here tonight myself trying to get over Valentine's day and saw your post. I am so sorry!! <<<HUGS>>> Bud too got very angry and stubborn in the last couple of months of his fight. I too accepted and still loved, but sometimes it stings too, especially if you are one of the main caregivers and give 150% 24/7 and for a long time. Sometimes it seemed the Bud I knew was gone somewhere and here was this angry, rude person that I hardly recognized. I too KNEW that I would be the exact same way had the tables been turned. The fear, and acknowledgment that their life is ending must be a very formidable weight to bear, one I know I'll probably bear myself someday. May God bring peace to your family and comfort in knowing that the pain, needles and cancer is all gone. He is a free man, restored.

Take care of yourself and keep in touch.


Old 02-24-2007, 05:37 AM   #6
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55ian55 HB User
Re: My dad lost his fight

Hep i read your story my heart goes out to you i lost my wife on the 06/02/07 and i know how you feel may i offer my deepest sympathy to you and your family and i will light a candle for your father at my church. Ian

Old 02-24-2007, 03:18 PM   #7
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: gravesend kent uk
Posts: 9
lisalandless HB User
Re: My dad lost his fight

thank you for your kind words when you must be in much pain yourself. ill pray to God to give you strength and if wishes were a help you could have all of mine. lisa

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