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My father in law is do I tell my children?

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Old 10-29-2002, 10:36 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 1
Jenn33199 HB User
Unhappy My father in law is do I tell my children?

My beloved father-in-law is dying of cancer. He was just diagnosed with liver cancer and cancer in the bile ducts a few short weeks ago. They tried a new form of chemo at Mayo in Rochester but his body almost shut down. They will not do further treatment, and I think we are looking at a matter of weeks until he leaves us...the cancer is apparently extremely widespread.

My children are 5, 3 and 11 months. What do I tell my 3 and 5 year old? They are VERY close to their Grandpa...they see him all the time, and they adore him.

How do I help them?

Can anyone help me?

An anguished mother and daughter-in-law

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Old 10-30-2002, 10:06 AM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Posts: 113

This is hard!

My feeling is that you should allow them to be with their grandfather during this time. Slowly, try to help them understand he is not feeling well.

I think that your father-in-law by being with them will help them to understand that he loves them always and even though he not be there for them later.

I understand how hard this is for you....

Old 11-12-2002, 07:25 PM   #3
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 2
InquisitiveOne HB User

My mom died of Malignant Melanoma when I was 3 years old. My 5 year old sister and I were told that our Mom would be going far away and could not come back, and would miss us very much, but that she also loved us very much.

This satisfied our little hearts and minds until we were old enough to understand what death is, and will give you time to heal and prepare for explaning more when they are older and understand more.

Hope this helps. God Bless you and your family.

A note to the Vegan, I had a friend who has been a strict vegan nearly her whole life, ate organic foods, etc, she still developed colon cancer.

Old 11-15-2002, 08:23 AM   #4
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bayonne, NJ USA
Posts: 16

My husband was recently diagnose with cancer of the liver also, only his is not as advanced. Our first child is three years old, but since his father is going to be in and out of the hospital getting treatments I had to talk to him.

I told him that there was something bad inside his Daddy's tummy and that it was making him sick. I told him the doctors didn't know if they could make him better. If they could he'd be with us a long time, but it they couldn't he'd go and live with God and the angels and watch us from heaven. That seemed to do the trick.

Dana Simmons

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